My boyfriend imagines me having sex with other men?

[TheIdealist]

My boyfriend has told me that he fantasized me being fondled sexually by other men. Like a threesome involving him and a few other men. He has mentioned it many times. He said he would never want a threesome in real life, which I agree with. But, he explained everything he wanted those men to do with me, and everything he would be doing etc. He fantasizes about it a lot. He said it's because he likes to imagine me being overstimulated and receiving a lot of attention. I'm not quite sure where it came from. But he gets off to me even bringing up threesomes, strictly with males only. - No he is not gay. - No he is not a cuck. Where do you think it came from? Why do you think he likes imagining me with other men. (Again, he would never do this in real life. We just want a normal relationship.)

[scottalanmiller]

What you are describing, if accurate, is a stag relationship. Stagging is very popular, with maybe 10% of men or more being very into it. Stagging is like the opposite of a cuck fetish. In a cuck fetish, the cuck is supmissive and wants his woman dominant over him and being taken by other men as a sign of his weakness.

In a stag relationship, the man shares his woman as a sign of power.

[TheIdealist]

That makes sense. Sounds accurate.

[scottalanmiller]

Oddly, I think cucks are more common than stags. But that might be a poor impression.

[TheIdealist]

I believe so

[pasimuscle]

I can't even find stagging on the internet and how should it be dominant? While someone is fucking your girl he HAS dominance over her and therefore over you, there is no way around that.

[scottalanmiller]

@pasimuscle Clearly you are confused. You see X having sex with Y and that guarantees dominance over Z? Sorry, not how it works. That's a very defensive, illogical response.

[pasimuscle]

How is it illogical and defensive? You basically say that stagging is different from cucking but the only thing that's different is the mindset. Maybe you're just calming yourself with this but I don't see the share of power there from allowing other guys to fuck your girl. Also I don't think that the term stagging even exists

[scottalanmiller]

@pasimuscle Not sure whre you see mindset as the only difference. The difference is who is in charge and who is creating the situation and controlling it. Cucks don't allow anyone to do anything. This is nothing like cucking. I'm sure for non-dominant people the concepts must be blurry. But for those who are dominant and in control, they differences are pretty freaking obvious that they are polar opposites. It would only seem similar if you are looking at it from a position of panic feeling that any sharing must be done against your will, and therefore a cuck sees everything from a cucks perspective. I assume most people claiming all sharing is submissive sharing are likely fearful that their own situations have this happening without their knowledge, against their will and so that panic and fearfulness causes them to be blind the obviously totally opposite options that can exist. When you lack that power position, I'm sure that everything appears that way to cucks.

[scottalanmiller]

@pasimuscle I'm shcoked that you can't see the difference between sharing something by choice, and having something taken from you. This isn't a pretty basic concept. Giving away something you control, or having something taken from you that you don't control

Do you see how it is extremely defensive and illogical to equate those two things? And the only reasonable explanation for why someone would passionately try to merge them is from a panic fight or flight response causing them to lose rational thought? This is so basic, so simple... how could anyone confuse them? It only makes sense if they are trolling, or truly panicking themselves at the realization that they must be in that position.

And wow, have you never used Google?

www.thesun.co.uk/.../

http://asharedwife.com/tips-for-new-stags/

[scottalanmiller]

I would step back and instead of attacking things you don't know or are afraid of, remember that just because you aren't in a position to be a stag doesn't mean it doesn't exist for other people. I'm sorry if you are an unwilling cuck, that's truly an unfortunate situation (willing ones are fine, of course.) but please don't lash out at other people's legitimate relationships and try to force your issues onto them. If you are here to learn, do so. If you are here to help, do so. But lashing out and projecting your insecurities as an attack on others... just take a breath and remember no one is making you be in a relationship that doesn't work for you. And do some basic research. These aren't unknown or weird terms, or relationship types. This is stuff anyone can research in a few minutes with the Internet or, you had already read about it here. How many stag threads were there just TODAY? Three, at least.

[pasimuscle]

So I'm scared and non-dominant while you're the one who likes to watch your girl get fucked by black guys? Alright. You sound pretty defensive without any real arguments. I think that it's certainly not normal to like other men having Sex with your girl whatsoever, may it be cuck or "stag". I think stag is just a term cucks use because they aren't comfortable with accepting what they are. If you like to watch your girlfriend get overstimulated - use toys or do it yourself. It just seems for me like you aren't even capable of brining pleasure to your girl and that's why others are needed. Also why exactly should it be dominant? Cucks certainly allow their girl to cuck them too, if not (maybe directly, maybe indirectly) - it would be considered cheating. So the only thing different IS the mindest because like you said, the cuck wants to get dominated and the "stag" likes to dominate (if you count another guy fucking your wife as dominating)

[pasimuscle]

Do whatever you like in your Sex life but stop telling me what I am based on what I don't like. That's completely stupid and you should know that

[ScaryCool]

He is borderlining on cuck, no way around that. His fetish derives from being turning on from an insecurity he has. Kind of masochistic really. Does he believe he can fulfill your needs or does he say he thinks others could do it better?

[TheIdealist]

No, nothing like that at all. He isn't insecure about it, and he definitley doesn't get off on being insecure. How did you come to that conclusion?

[ScaryCool]

Cause from being on the internet a lot of guys have announced that's why they do that. I may have jumped the gun and maybe he wants is into voyuerism? I could get that but I still wouldn't want it to involve my SO.

[TheIdealist]

I see. Hmm. Possibly? I don't know.

[scottalanmiller]

@scarycool where is the cuck border here? Not that it isn't possible, but where in the description did you see that?

[ScaryCool]

@scottalanmiller like where is it cucky or how is it not? I pretty much covered why I felt it was but she said she doesn't think that's what was happening.

[CurLyF]

It's just a fantasy. I've never have it and I don't think I would ever have a threesome, but he likes to talk about so talk about it with him. If you are 100% sure you or he wouldn't do it in real life, there's no harm in talking about it if he likes it. But if it bothers you tell him. A good relationship is based on trust and comunication. ;)

[CheerGirl38139]

98% of people here on GaG will just turn this into an opportunity to "cuck" shame.

It's the new fun thing to do since "slut" shaming finally started to get boring apparently.

[TheIdealist]

You're absolutley right.

[StrangerByTheDay]

In my own honest opinion, it might be some "Fetish" thing he has and sharing the idea with you may be turning him ON. It happens because of what adult industries send as images, like adult sites and videos, etc...

The threesome act is something intense when it comes to a sexual encounter, especially when sharing it with somebody we have feelings for, but, as you have mentioned, some things are just left to be "Fantasies" and not to be experienced in real life.

Normally, it gives max pleasure to a person seeing how their partner is getting to the max point of pleasure, which in his mind and fantasy is by sharing you with another person and experiencing extreme sexual acts.

I would suggest you get a "Kama sutra" guide book or box, which includes many fun things to enjoy with your partner, as well as a good book with detailed acts. You can practice with your clothes on. You can play intense board games. etc...

Having him fantasizing about you in extreme points of pleasure means in my opinion that he needs to make you have crazy orgasms. Try to talk about it and guide him how he will be able to do that in real life without going through a threesome act. You know your body very well, and if you guide him a bit and open yourself letting your feelings go and build up to the max could help both of you.

The main idea basically came from adult sites and videos he watched, and remember, they are acting in most of the movies.

[jcampbell115]

It's almost as though he could be feeling like he isn't doing a good enough job for you. The other possibility is that guys like watching porn for hot women, and fantasize about being in the male pornstar's position. It could be a similar thing with you, where he is just so aroused by the thought of you. I'm not quite sure to be honest

[TheIdealist]

That makes sense. Thank you:)

[jcampbell115]

Did you ask why he does this alot?

[TheIdealist]

He said it's because he likes seeing me pleasured and overstimulated.

[jcampbell115]

ok yeah, I think that's all there is to it then

[scottalanmiller]

@jcampbell115 I think he'd be fantasizing about being in the director's position, in this case.

[GingerGuy]

It's a fetish of his and not an uncommon one. Some guys have it. I don't understand it myself as I don't have it, but it turns him on for whatever reason (s). Like all fetishes, this is no different.

[Celtero]

Sorry, but he is kind of cuckish, he's just smart enough not to act upon it.

[TheIdealist]

He's not a cuck. I explained that.

[scottalanmiller]

@celtero what part of that is cuckish?

[mythreya18]

Do he watch porn very frequently?

[TheIdealist]

I believe so.

[mythreya18]

So i think it makes him to think like that

[scottalanmiller]

I doubt that porn brought this on. I bet you'll find that stags enjoy porn, not pron makes stags.

[NickoN]

maYbe it is just a fantasy of his when he is aroused.
I get all these weird fantasies while having sex but would never act them for real, and one of them is sharing my girl with other guys , but would never do it in real life.

[scottalanmiller]

Totally possible, guys when near their peak arousal are, for all intents and purposes, high on opiates (that'st he actual chemical released in teh body) and they can get pretty crazy. So make sure your SO still thinks that this sounds fun when not aroused or just slightly aroused before continuing so much as a discussion.

[Ex_Mangina]

Your boyfriend is pathetic. He's a beta cuck.

[TheIdealist]

Thanks for completley ignoring everything I said.

[scottalanmiller]

@ex_mangina you seem either very confused or extremely defensive. Do you have cucks on teh mind or something?

[skeetskeetskeet]

Well being he's so set on this and open enough to tell you all the details you'll probably get drunk or roofied and wake up as a pin cushion for his buddy's... I say use it to your advantage because you just got a green light to go slumming

[TheIdealist]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[skeetskeetskeet]

Your dudes fantasy about you fucking other guys...

[Nice222]

It’s normal.

[scottalanmiller]

It really is. Maybe not "most guys" but normal enough that we can't say for sure that it isn't most guys.

[Anonymous]

I don't know but a lot of guys are turned on by that myself included

[Anonymous]

I have a similar thing with my girlfriend. For me it's because I think she's so hot and so sexy that the thought of acting like a slur really does it for me. Don't know if that helps?

[TheIdealist]

Hmm. Her acting like a slut turns you on? How so?

[Opinion Owner]

The thought of her enjoying more than one guy at once

[scottalanmiller]

Now this I refer to as a slut fetish. It's slightly different, but could totally overlap.