My boyfriend is to gentle during sex for me?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost half a year now. We have a great relationship and all, but I'm not all that happy with our sex life. Well more with just the act of sex, he is great at other stuff like oral and such. Now I know this is bad, and I would never tell him any of this, but I'm gonna compare him to my ex right now onlyyyy for means of explaining what I like, and what my current boyfriend does. I have no feelings for my ex, just using that as an example. So with my boyfriend, basically we will be laying in bed and he just asks me if I want to have sex, straight out. And he likes foreplay, so he might ask me if I want to have sex and then start with that, so that's not awful. But I don't like that he just comes out and asks for it. What I really like, and only reason I know I like it is because of my ex, is when were just laying in bed and he'll just discreetly start being flirty, touching/rubbing my upper leg, touch my ass, press his body up against me and make out, stuff like that. I like when the guy takes charge, doesn't ask for it but just takes it. Holds me down and goes to town haha i like it rougher. And I've told my current boyfriend that I like it rough and he says he is all for roughness, but it doesn't seem like he knows what that is.. He was a virgin when we started dating, so I'm the only one he has ever had sex with which I know has a lot to do with it. I sort of wish there was like some video for guys in this position that could show them what they should do to their girlfriends if that's what she likes. I know that if he would do the things I like that he would like it too, it just seems like he doesn't know what to do and I feel like I can't be the one to tell him that.. Any suggestions?
Hey girls, you like it gentle? Yes, click here
Vote A
Hey girls, you like it rough? Yes, click here
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Start initiating sex and foreplay with him. A lot of guys are still under the impression that girls don't actually enjoy sex. My boyfriend, even though I tend to initiate more than him, still asks me once in a while if I'm sure I enjoy it because his ex-girlfriend was super paranoid about fooling around in any sense.

    So just show him that you do love it and don't really have any sexual inhibitions. If that doesn't work within a few weeks, you can even try talking a little dirty to get him more into it and drop any inhibitions he may have. For example, you get on top, start going pretty fast and just say 'I love having you inside me' as you're lost in the moment. As you slowly but surely convince him that you love it and aren't something he has to be super delicate with, hopefully he'll start being rougher. It helps to show him what you like as well; like next time you guys are making out, you can lightly bite his lower lip/ear lobe.

    Just show him the ropes per se. :P

  • Just tell him what you like. This wouldn't be a problem if you actually communicated with him. Just say "hey, you don't always have to straight out ask if I want to have sex, you could just start with foreplay whenever you like, and then we might take it from there depending on my mood". If you want him to go rough, ask him to go rough. You can't just expect him to read your mind somehow. He doesn't know what you like/dislike because you haven't told him, or even showed him. That's on YOU. He can't learn that stuff from videos or talking to other guys, because they don't know what YOU like either. Every girl is different. So just talk to him about it.

    • Even though you've told him that you like it rough, you need to be more specific. "Rough" is a very subjective thing. Do you want him to tie you up completely and choke you until you pass out? Or do you want him to talk dirty to you and spank you every once in a while? Be specific and SHOW him.

  • It depends on my mood. My sounds and body language will tell the guy if I’m ok with what they’re doing. If they’re being rough and I don’t want them to, I usually will squint hard or whisper stop or something like that. If they’re being too gentle, I usually will start getting more aggressive myself by pulling the guy closer, etc

Most Helpful Guys

  • The ONLY things you can do are leave him or talk to him about it. I would want my girlfriend to tell me ASAP if she preferred sex one way or another, Just make sure you emphasize that you enjoy the sex how it is, even if it's a lie, to avoid hurting his feelings. People seem to prefer lies over harsh reality.

  • when he starts and after you start moaning say softly harder harder then he might put more pressure on you and then after he puts it in pounds you really good then both you and him might have a good loud orgasm to where the neighbors will hear you two

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 5
  • Guy wanna be told rather then having to try and figure it out. Let him know and be open cause if you can't be open with him that relationship isn't going to last.

  • Now I know why my niece has been dating cage fighters.

  • Just straight out tell him. Guys appreciate honesty, maybe they may feel bad for a bit. But think how happy he will be when he pleasures you how you like it.

  • He need not be the one initiate sex each time , with gentle word or rough action.
    Next time, u initiate be a wild cat on the Ed and show him how to do it wild and steamy. Guide him to the world of wild rough sex and tell him it's the way u enjoy it, with proof of multiple shattering orgasms after a wild session :)

  • why would any girl like it rough. that sounds creepy.

    • Because it feels amazing. Slow gentle sex is just boring to me. Look at the poll above, I'm clearly not the only girl who likes it rough.

    • that is true. maybe you can give him a toy that he can use on you more roughly than he would normally do? my thinking is the toy might help.

    • I’m usually not a rough sex girl.