My boyfriend refuses to cum?

Question

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two months now and the sex is AY-MAZING, he goes on for too long sometimes and I have to tap out but overall it’s great! We can have sex for an hour and he won’t cum and sometimes when I reach my limit I tell him I need him to cum and he does, but other times he says he’s not ready and when I finally tap out he doesn’t care and just waits to go again, I’ve addressed this issue cause I don’t think he understands how paranoid it makes me when he doesn’t cum but he brushed it of and told me it wasn’t a big deal because “if I cum I’ll have to stop and I’m not ready to stop” but then sometimes he does cum after like 30 mins, I’m just confused, is it me? Or something I’m doing or not doing? 😭

DejectionControlled · Accepted Answer

I had this sort of issue when I was a teenager. It was due to two things. I could last for hours. And, like your guy, I would sometimes cum after 30 minutes.

Porn can desensitize men to real women. Our instincts are 20,000 years old, and back then, no man would see 1,000 naked women in the span of a few minutes. It would be rare for a man to see more than 1, 5, 10 naked women in his lifetime.

So, this reprograms our brains and sets a higher standard for arousal, making a man less aroused with a real woman. Even if she is very attractive.

You can test this by showing him porn, while you have sex. If this is the issue, then he will cum a lot faster and without as much control.

The other thing was my penis, which wasn't desensitized. No one taught me that was what I needed to do, so, I never pulled back my foreskin. The glans was extremely painful for a long time. Blowjobs and sex were fine and didn't hurt, but other stuff would. But, this also led to me not being able to cum for hours.

The other possibility is that he's just damn good at controlling himself. I dunno.

NovaByte · Accepted Answer

Well first off your bf's a champ. Secondly, does he wear a condom? Sometimes it dulls the feeling for guys too much... but nice that he's thinking of your satisfaction first. I wouldn't complain or be paranoid about that 😂

Elviran · Accepted Answer

My boyfriend is like that I'm always having to tap out but after awhile I kinda got used to it but still bothers me that he can't after awhile. He's more focused on giving you pleasure then himself enjoy it and try and not think too much but easier said then done

SavageGirl101 · Accepted Answer

Its not u girl! Its him he doesn't cum purposely for  u and so can have sex longer!!! But don't sweat it girl!! As long as ur satisfied with the sex and love it its alright!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

he is not human he is an alien. all men i knew cum in 5-20 minutes lol.

AustinMan · Answer

I feel strongly that you're looking for trouble where there isn't any. A lot of men have sort of a window where they can cum and if the sex goes on longer than that, we can't pull the trigger, at least not very easily. It sounds to me like he's very happy with your sex life. Each of you is responsible for your own orgasms. Your partner is there to help so if he gets past his window, just rest a little while, tell him you really, really need his cum inside you, and then do that sexy thing that drives him crazy, once he's good and warmed up.

Does that make sense?

JB1992 · Answer

well if you reached your limit tell him and go back to a bj or hand job to finish him off, shouldn't really make much of a difference as long as he's being finished, you can either do this at the end of make the foreplay longer, it'll shorten things.

random56286 · Answer

That seems a bit unusual but if he says it isn't a big deal perhaps it isn't. If he is able to hold off and cum when he wants, tell him you want to cum together. See if that gets you to get him to enjoy all of you.

dizmuhjam · Answer

Just finish him off orally if you can't take it anymore and need to tap out.

uchihaone · Answer

Probably you tap out real fast.. Or he has a huge affection towards you that he needs the sex to go on longer

Intraluminal · Answer

It's not you. I'm the same way.

Heclingybad · Answer

I’m like that when I’m having sex regularly. When it’s had a chance to build up I cum quick.

owens97 · Answer

i dont cum at all during sex no matter how long i go and depending on the girl I've gone up to 5 hours before she tapped with 13 orgasms but its a curse and gift for me id say its a bigger problem for him then u trust me so stop being selfish about it but just tell him maybe from now on u can only go for a certain amount of time if its a bother

skytatoe · Answer

this:

Taure · Answer

If it takes too long for him to cum, try more foreplay or give longer head

BigGuyToLove · Answer

No. its not you. Its just his stamina. Build up where you can take it more and longer and let him release on his time. He will enjoy it more and release even better.