My boyfriend rejected me in underwear?

My boyfriend is a tradesman and is working in an empty, unlived in property next door. I came over to visit him while working and he hinted twice he wanted to have sex with me there but I turned it down in fear of it being risky.

To spice things up, I went round the following day wearing lingerie covered by a trench coat - thinking he’d be into it and I felt great. However, he turned me down saying it’s weird to have sex in a building site and was just not up for it, he said we could have sex later at home but I just felt embarrassed. I voiced my hurt and confusion and left.

I appreciate not everyone wants sex all the time but I feel rejected and if I was set up to fail? I thought most men would love for their partner to surprise them in lingerie but it just made me feel vulnerable and silly. Am I reasonable for feeling hurt, I feel like it was such mixed messages.

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Superb Opinion

  • Maybe he's getting even with you for saying no the first few times when he wanted to do it. And maybe he prefers sex in the heat of the moment rather than planning it. It probably put too much pressure on him to say all kinds of nice things about your outfit. And besides, remember that he was wanting to have sex with you even without the fancy lingerie. So acting like you need to help him to want sex when it was you who didn't want to have sex to begin with was probably made him confused. Maybe he thought you were feeling guilty about saying no, and felt resentment of being forced to reassure you that he still likes you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Fornication at the workplace is never a good idea.

    Unless he is his own boss and can basically do whatever he wants as an owner, it is a totally different story if he is employed by someone else to do a job and to get paid to do that job (and that job only). He does not get retributed for copulating during work hours.

    I fully understand that he rejected to have anything done that could have him fired and get him a bad reputation with a future prospective employer. It does not sound good in the curriculum to have a remark that forncation at the job has a priority over the tasks assigned to him.

    Rather than to get upset about the fact that he rejected you, be glad about it because he knows how to set his priorities right in life.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think most of us guys here would have done it anyway.

    I dont think you should take his rejection of public sex as a personal rejection, it's not you he dosnt want it's doing it in public he dosnt want.

  • Sorry sometimes men are scared and shocked by sudden offers after trying to get the score first

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 15
  • Maybe there is something emotional going on between the two of you? Some people cannot let go as quickly as the other over fights or bad blood.

  • Didn't you do the exact same thing to him the day before? My guess is he felt as hurt as you did and didn't feel the desire to have sex because he was hurt. Could be revenge as others said but could be hurt feelings as well.

    • To an extend but dropping hints vs what I did are on completely different levels?

    • Yeah but you did what you did in forwardness without giving him much option for a no and also you already had an idea and almost went in knowing he’d want that because of his behavior before meanwhile he didn’t know if you’d want so he was dropping hints to see where you both were. Then again this could be wrong. Not entirely sure about the whole situation.

  • this is silly.
    he's not a horny person 24/7. also what YOU think are hints, aren't to him. You're being unreasonable to think that it was anything but a joke, ESPECIALLY if its his WORK.

  • You girls just don't get it. When you reject us it hurts. We don't forget it. If anyone was sending 'mixed messages' it was you.

  • It's a customer's job site. I can understand his POV.

  • I mean I’d love it but some people might not always be into sex

  • I would like that kind of atmosphere to have sex in?

  • False. He did not reject you in your lingerie. He rejected having sex at the jobsite.

    • But what if it’s false to you- he wanted sex (before), and then rejected her (while she was in her lingerie). Correlation? Coincidence? Or is your point logical and true? Before I thought this way I agreed with your post 100% and appreciate the direct approach to uphold logic.

  • it was bad idea from start

  • His or yours?

  • It was his work site. maybe he was afraid he would get caught and lose his job.

  • I think George Costanza got fired from a job after having sex with the cleaning lady at work.

  • What is it they say in Japan again?
    Read the air.

    Basically... try to understand the situation you're in before you act inappropriately.

    • Interesting. . .

  • I just your boyfriend. Shy

  • I think your guy is gay.

  • Oh, well...

  • My wife and I work together but I never thought about having sex while at work. I just think it would be inappropriate.

  • Has he made it up to u since

  • Bad boyfriend, im 16 and i won't reject ANYONE. Pls belive in yourself.

  • you're confusing. first, you turned it down and said it was too risky. THEN the next day you decided to flaunt around in the unfinished building in your underwear. to which he repeated what you said yesterday that it was weird to have sex in a building site. what do you want? just be more straight forward next time.

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