My boyfriend said you can’t rape your own wife, I have no idea what to do?

We were talking and somehow it turned into that kinda convo and he says “you can’t rape your wife”. I was literally speechless. I have no idea what to do next. I love him but I know if this is his mindset I shouldn’t be with him
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Superb Opinion

  • Talk to him about it- this may be more a case of misunderstanding or just not thinking it through than what it seems. While that sounds pretty bad, it's far from an immediate threat, and he may simply be thinking that being in a relationship with someone carries certain sexual obligations, not simply "wherever and whenever he wants it" (I can pretty much guarantee you that nobody who thinks that would feel the same way if SHE wanted it, and he wasn't up for it).

    If it IS the latter, then yeah, I can see wanting to lose him, but make sure that's the case before you do; no point in throwing it all away over a misunderstanding.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You can. And it happens.

    Even during a marriage, consent is key. How would he feel if you were to use a prized possession of his without his consent?
    Not the best example and I'm REALLY not trying to make fun or trivialise it but it's exactly the same. Consent in all areas is key. It's how you define your individuality and is core to the free will aspect of being a human being. Rape takes that control away, and it's horrifying.

    You aren't there to just be a sexual release and that's it. A relationship is about being partners in life and supportive in each others feelings and endeavours.

    Free use is a thing but even then that's on a bedrock of consent, even CNC is the same. So he needs to change that opinion ASAP or he could get himself into trouble down the line. I hope this helps! :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • :)... run. He ain't the one. I'm just a rose you may not know but knowing i've seen a story where the "husband" literally wanted to fk his wife so bad... he attempted it while she WAS SLEEPING.

    So i can only imagine what it be like for a man to think that can change his mind.

  • Dump him.


    If your spouse is not in the mood for sex, they’re allowed to say no. Anything you initiate past this is a violation of your spouse’s boundaries. Being married to someone doesn’t automatically equal consent

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What Girls & Guys Said

14 26
  • Either say goodbye or keep your ass lubed just in case

    • I laughed at this 😂 it’s fucked up but the dark humor was funny 😂

  • He is fucked up and has no respect or values for a women. Are you sure you want to stay with him?
    How is your sex life with him otherwise?

  • He needs therapy. Consent is required by both individuals every single time.

  • Yikes

  • Marital rape license, it still common in many third world countries.

  • Yikes.

    Educate him.

  • Um yes it definitely is rape if consent is not given!! I would find someone who doesn’t see women as his property.

  • Your boyfriend is full of shit. If you force yourself upon anyone, whether it's your wife or not. It's rape.

  • Dump him. Def don’t marry him.

  • Oh yes you can.

  • You are correct. He is dead wrong, to make a statement like that. If he believes that you should dump him.

  • BREAK. UP. NOW.

    If he's thinking this, then he's thinking it's ok to rape you. That means he doesn't care about you or respect you. For your own safety, well being and happiness, leave and don't let him con you into staying

  • That's bullshit! As long as she says no, no matter what her relationship is to him, it MEANS NO and, if he goes against that, it's rape.

  • They can't...

    • Can you elaborate what you mean by “they can’t”

    • If you're married I think he can do as he likes hun.

    • So if a wife says no bc she’s vomiting he’s allowed to have sex with her bc he wants it right then and there?

    • Show All
  • If you think he was serious when he said that, then you need to think about whether that’s a relationship you want to continue.

  • Marriage doesn't magically mean you both want sex at the same time every time. If you can't convince him otherwise, you can't be with him.

  • He’s Joined the Dark Side He’s Raped you already that is clear and he’s going do it again eventually he will be restraining you because He Wants that pussy and wants that ass

  • If his statement means what I think it means... Rid yourself of this ASAP.

    This is why I say women's first impressions are sometimes (read "often") wrong.

    This "guy" is out of his mind, and possibly a bald-faced misogynist or much worse.

  • i would maybe sit down with him and have a serious conversation about this. because maybe he didn't think a lot when saying this or he wasn't being serious. but if he is dead serious, then it's time to cut the line, avoid wasting more time with something that's not a good option and move on.

  • It has been illegal in all of the United States since before I was born. Since you are understandably anon for this question you will have to check the laws where you live if you do not live in the USA. The ONLY exception is for statutory rape if the minor consents AND they are legally married.

    • Actually in like 12 states there are loop holes for this and that’s what he was talking about

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