My Boyfriend Sexually Assaulted Me?

I'm really struggling what to do

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months all was going well he is a really nice guy always happy to help and kind and caring.

The first night I spent with him he woke me up by touching me downstairs I moved away and his hand followed me. Then he said sorry. I saw that as annoying but a one off he said he was half asleep.

Fast forward to last night we were making out and he asked if I wanted to have sex I said no then a few minutes later he said I'll just tease it down there he got on top of me and started rubbing his penis on me then he decided to put his penis inside me and start to have sex with me.

So I didn't move an inch but I also didn't say no as he started to have sex with me.

Afterwards I said to him I didn't say yes he said he was sorry and it won't happen again he said he didn't realize I didn't want it he said he just wanted to make me feel good.

Today we have barely spoken he has said he is the worst human on earth and that he doesn't deserve to exist and that he feels like harming himself. He has told his family what he has done and he has cried a lot and asked if I'm ok a lot. o

Could you forgive him and carry on with the realtionship?

I've said to him I don't hate him and that it is just going to take time for me to trust him again.

0 2

Superb Opinion

  • There are two elemental factors at play here... YOU are confronting your socially promulgated early 'chaste' conditioning vs. YOUR subconscious inherited innate physical 'animal' predisposition... which HE is conspiratorially seeking to enlist & awaken... against YOUR conscious preferences.

    In the modern Asian orient, there is a sexual fetish predilection termed: 'Chikan' where in their repressed and overcrowded society elementary school girls and business women in peak hour public buses and subways are openly groped and subjected to tactile reluctant building intuitive spasming orgasms.

    (grudgingly rather than to risk resisting and physical harm, their Victim eventually 'gives in' as THEIR culture tends to 'mind one's own business' and turns a blind eye, in the extreme. In the U. S. there's a famous assault of Kitty Genovese, in full view of a tenement bldg. s mid-day audience!)

    Of late, some #MeToo urban feminist gangs have turned the tables and begun manual predation on Japan's office-suited 'salary men' termed: 'Chijo' ... seeking to bring them to involuntarily spasmodically ejaculate and 'soil' THEIR work clothes publicly... usually en-route TO their employment!

    In such a misogynistic culture, THIS is a major cultural 'loss of face' exploiting the targeted Victim's lack of self-control, responding to the intense IMMEDIATE physical natural pleasure incentive. The VERY public role reversal of the Dom /Sub paradigm~

    My Boyfriend Sexually Assaulted Me?

Most Helpful Guy

  • So the difficulty I see with this is that you didn't say no while he started to have sex with you. We are getting better at understanding that no means no. Since you didn't say that it's harder for him to know for sure you didn't want it. He and others need to learn that we need affirmative consent. If I want to do something new and different with my girlfriend, I ask her and ensure that she actually consents verbally. Yet I was taught to seek affirmative consent by my mother and sister a lot growing up.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11
  • Yea that nice of him but why are you having a boyfriend if you not wanting to have sex?

  • You’re both mentally challenged. Stay away from him and any men until you grow up and know what you actually want.

  • I can see why he was confused because you didn't say anything, however that does not excuse his behavior. He should have asked before doing that to you.

  • call the cops

  • You didn't say no, so as far as I am concerned it's not rape. Fuck all this affirmative consent bullshit, you need absolve him.

  • He doesn't respect you and you don't respect yourself.

  • He's a pathetic excuse for a man but if you want to continue to entertain his nonsense that is a matter for you.

  • I mean u didn’t need to say no again, u already had. He raped u. Especially like this isn’t the first time he forced himself on u then I’d probably end it now

  • If you were alone with him and got naked voluntarily, no prosecutor will ever pursue a rape charges against him. However, i understand your hesitation about trusting him.

  • Sounds like you're both a couple of mental cases. I don't think it really matter what happens from here. Together or separate you're both drama waiting to happen. 😆

  • Break up with him and avoid getting into another relationship until you learn how to assert boundaries.