My boyfriend talks everyday about sex?

My boyfriend has never been with a woman or even exposed to ideas about sex less than 2 years ago. His family is very conservative. He is an amazing guy and love him to pieces. He just never stops talking about sex and my preferences and fetishes.

I didn't mind once in awhile but now he talks about it everyday, at least twice a day. In the morning and night time, he loves the topic but I am so emotionally depleted! He can talk about it for 4 or 5 hours if I let him per day. He wants flirty, sexy talks and what Id do to him etc. Mind you I am also inexperienced.

I dont know how to let him down gently without hurting him. I feel like I am a piece of meat at this point and wonder if love is turning into lust. I know his only curious but hard to not feel that way.

Any advice?
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Superb Opinion

  • Hey, the eagerness to sex and fetishes is common for someone who hasn’t had the too much experience all together. Maybe he watches too much porn so he feels the need to talk? There is no easy way around this subject other than in a polite, humble and respectful setting telling him how you feel. Share your thoughts and feelings about the situation. How do you feel about allowing him to watch porn and release his tension through there? Sometimes that can help him ventilate his sexual desire by masturbating and then won’t talk that much nor treat you as a meat. At times you can join him into a fantasy or watch it together with him to keep that sex life alive and respectful.

    Once talking to him, he will surely go silent and seem down but to cheer him up just have a romantic moment together. He has to understand he’s conversation about sex and fetishes is doing more harm than being a turn on especially for him.

    • I think he is a great guy overall, he is very curious by nature and I really like this part about him. I already taught him so much already and he is craving so much more. He is very interested but wondered if he was pushing past other emotions too using sex talk as a method? I don't mind talking to him about different things, I have told him once before I needed a break from all the sex talk because I felt so depleted, he got upset but he was fine with it. I am just worried he will find other females to try and do this with too

    • Healthy relationships rely on mutual respect and understanding, including on topics like sex. I don’t believe he is pushing past other emotions, its rather that he is thinking with his dick than using his heart and/or brain. Use "I" statements to convey how you feel. For example, "I feel overwhelmed when sex is the main topic of our conversations every day. I value our other interactions and would love to talk about other things as well." Propose discussing a variety of topics that interest both of you, creating a more balanced conversation dynamic. Sadly though, if the conversations continue to make you uncomfortable and he is not receptive to your feelings, you have to consider whether this is the right relationship for you. There is nothing wrong in emotionally blackmailing him by giving him an ultimatum or making him stop talking to you daily. Relationships should make you feel secure and respected, and you can’t always think twice whether or not he will find someone else. If you don’t feel secure and respected, what is the point being in a relationship?

    • Thank you so much! I was not sure how men think with their "dicks" to be fair. I can see him thinking with his dick more than his brain. We have known each other for a long time, I know he is not normally like this. So I am confident he will be fine after talking about how it makes me feel. I just have a lot of trouble wording it because he is also sensitive with criticism. He definitely jumps to the defensive when he feels like he is doing something wrong, which he isn't. I like the talks but not so excessively. I am his first girl friend he has had so I do not believe he knows how to navigate these scenarios.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • He’s immature, uneducated and very horny. Tell him you’re moving on because you’re an adult and he’s still a child, so you’re incompatible and be firm. Don’t feel sorry or be emotionally blackmailed. You owe him nothing

Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, if he is talking about sex and asking you probing questions about it, he's likely watching a lot of porn or he may be addicted to it. It's healthy to talk about sex, preferences, and fetishes, but not every moment of the day and making someone feel like they are an object isn't okay. It may be hard to hear, but I think it's something you should discuss with him. If he is watching a lot of it, it can take a toll on your relationship if he can't curb it and can only really hurt him in the long run because your experience (if you choose to stay with him and do it with him) will not be as satisfying with this addiction.

    • Im not really sure how much porn he watches or reads. He only got into it 2 years ago when his friends shared some explicit photos and he got interested in the topic. After that he has been very reserved about this side of him, and now is letting it out to me. He says he feels very free and open to talk about almost anything with me, which I am glad. We spoke about each others preferences and such, we are very compatible sexually but if he has any ideas that are beyond reality I could not do it (e. g., cartoon porn). I should probably talk to him about it but he gets very upset and defensive about looking like a "pervert". I think its very normal to talk about sexual stuff with your partner, but this is too excessive... Im not even looking forward to talk to him because I know it will be about sex

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Are you having sex with him now or are both of you still virgins? How old is he? As you have found out guys are horny but they do not need to talk about it all the time. Urge him to masturbate more *( yes all guys do it often) Ur thoughts?