I’m 24. He’s 26. And she’s 28.
my ex and I have been on and off for a couple of years. We’ve been off for almost a year now but still see each other. I told him I wanted marriage and expected him to pay for rent, utilities, etc. he wants to go 50/50 on it but I told him that’s for roommates. He has his own small business. I completely cut him off from sex and I thought maybe this would get him to commit. But today, he told me he had a friends with benefits and that she’s pregnant. I feel devastated. I told him now that the only way we’d still have a chance is if he ghosts her and isn’t involved but he said he doesn’t want to be with the other woman, but he’s gonna send her money for the baby and be there for the baby. Which just infuriates me. He had a problem paying for rent when it came to living with me but he has no problem sending money to a girl he “supposedly” doesn’t want to be with. According to him, he didn’t use a condom because she said she was on the pill. So she probably lied to trap him. Do y’all think he’ll listen to me about ghosting her and not being involved? I wouldn’t be able to be with him if he’s gonna be around her. I’ve tried convincing him. And I told him he’d end up losing me for good.
It’s not fair to ask him to not be involved with his own child. By extension, he’ll need to be in contact with her as well for at least the next 18 years. The money is for the baby’s needs, which he is legally responsible for providing. Should the child be shortchanged because you have a problem with it? This is not about you anymore, nor should it be. You had an on and off relationship with him because it wasn’t strong enough to be anything more. I’m sorry if that’s harsh but it’s true. He’s gotten himself into a situation that’s going to require him to man up and be involved. Since that’s a problem for you, you should find someone else to pay your rent and utilities.
0 1 0 0I’m just shocked that he’d do all this for a friends with benefits but he did nothing for me when we were together.
I’m shocked that you don’t understand the difference. He’s 50% responsible for this baby. He has a legal and moral obligation to provide financial and emotional support. It’s called being a man and doing the right thing. The baby has to come first in his life. He had no obligation to you. By your own admission the relationship wasn’t solid and you tried to manipulate him into committing by withholding sex. Your relationship with him was never going anywhere. Move on and let him handle his responsibilities.
Most Helpful Girl
You sound really whiny and demanding... and to expect a guy to ghost and abandon his own kid is fucked up on your part... You need to grow up, I don't think he is the one for you, so work on yourself, I think it would do you some good...
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Most Helpful Guys
What he did was, frankly, a shitty move. BUT... your ask is unreasonable because he needs to be a dad and being a dad involves contact with her, not ghosting her. I understand your want (and it makes sense) but asking him to ghost her is an unreasonable ask from you and would be irresponsible of him.
1 0 0 0She should give him up. He might be a cheater, but he might also be a good dad.
She doesn't deserve him and the kid doesn't deserve a father who's halfheartedly involved
@anon1903 ... you are, as always, right. Great point that I should have added.
just addressing one glaring issue with the first few sentences of your post here. "my ex" and "we are on and off again" contradict each other. you can either be a situstionship or EXes, but not both. he is not really your EX until you actually stop sexing him.
0 0 0 0If he wanted to fuck around, he should have either sought her permission as an on and off boyfriend or told it's over for good.
We were off for a year. And I did stop having sex with him for 7 months.
@anon1903 it was over. We had been off for a year. I told him we’d get back together if he committed to me (marriage) and agreed to take on the financial responsibility like paying the bills
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4 14I think he doesn't cares about you so he won't listen what you gonna say to him
0 0 0 0He'd be better off losing you for good. Stop thinking of yourself for 2 seconds and think about the need for the child to have a father figure in her life. It will be hard enough for her learning how she was conceived. Grow up and stop being so selfish.
1 0 0 0He is a cheater and a looser. Dump him... you can do better.
0 0 0 0I don't know why you keep giving a whore second chances.
0 0 0 0I've lost count the times I've seen this question! 😂
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