Sexual Relationships
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My experiences as a woman on this website and in real life

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My experiences as a woman on this website and in real life.

First things first, I am a transvestite and I make quite a convincing girl. I've been out to town a few times dressed as a girl and it's fun but a very different experience. You can be having a conversation with a stranger (that you would have normally as a dude) but because you're wearing a dress they think that you're hitting on them. I have been groped in clubs a fair few times and some guys just follow you around with their eyes, or in some cases literally following you around. There are a lot of creepy men around on nights out. I'd heard of stuff from female friends but when you experience it first hand you get a sense of how vulnerable they feel. I never really bothered trying to 'pull' on nights out (I'm too shy) but it certainly made me take a look at some of my friends' behaviour who just go up to girls from behind and start grinding on them. I always thought that was a bit odd, kind of turned a blind eye as I didn't want to think too much of it, but I didn't really appreciate the creepyness like I do now. I'll certainly be having words if they do it again because some of the girls are absolutely horrified.

Anyway, after experiencing life briefly on the other side me and a friend of mine thought it would be a good idea to see how things differed on this website. Within hours of setting up a profile I had already surpassed the amount of followers I had on my male account. This included both male and female followers to my surprise. I kind of expected to have more male followers but I didn't think I would have as many girls. Either way, I felt more connected with the community on here. I think girls are a bit more interested in that side of things than guys.

Within about 48 hours I had received 4 messages from 4 different guys. I had been on this website for over a year as a guy and I had not received a single message so to get 4 in such a short time was quite strange for me. None of them were particularly creepy though, not yet anyway haha. I was surprised so much messaging occurred as I have never messaged anyone on this website before.

I was also randomly mentioned in a comment by someone I had never come into contact with, who mentioned my looks and referred to me as 'fresh meat'. I would understand a random mention if I was a 'big name' on here to pay a compliment but I had only just joined and he had noticed that. Very odd and to be called 'fresh meat' was obviously not very nice.

The strangest thing I found on here was how different the website looks as a girl. Now that you can filter questions to just girls or guys you get a new perspective of questions asked on here. Some of the questions asked to just girls were quite bizarre. I remember one about choking on a penis and a guy was asking if anyone liked that and would let him do that to them. I remember one asking girls if they were looking for old men, not something I am used to as a guy on here. Lastly, I remember one asking girls to post pictures of their feet to him. There was a resounding no from everybody. There are quite a few creepy guys on here. Not all obviously. I should make that clear but there are a lot 'nice guys' who are most likely 'Men's Rights Activists'. They are full of crap and when you argue against them they get incredibly aggressive and misogynistic. It's horrible.

In conclusion, it was an incredibly enlightening experience living temporarily as a girl in real world and on the internet. There's a lot of sexual harrassment and you feel constantly on your guard. It's strange how wearing a dress can suddenly make the most mundane conversations seem flirtatious to some men, you can literally see the excitement in their eyes. I was also surprised by just how sex-obsessed men are. Maybe I don't have a high sex drive or something but so much male behaviour really is driven by sex. I'm not perfect, when I see an attractive girl walking down the street I have a look at her but when people stop and stare at me and my friend it's just uncomfortable. I hope you enjoyed my take and I recommend seeing the world from the perspective of a girl to all guys and vice versa!

*The image isn't of me but of Sean Bean for anyone wondering. I didn't really want to out myself so publicly on here. Some people may have recognised me haha.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • On the one hand, I'm sorry you've had sucky experiences when passing as female, but on the other hand, A GUY ACTUALLY GETS IT!!! :D! So often, when protesting about behavior from a guy that makes me uncomfortable, I'll be dismissed. "Boys will be boys", "you shouldn't have dressed like that [if you didn't want the attention]", "she was asking for it", "you wouldn't say that if you knew what it was like to be a guy", "it's not creepy -it's a compliment", and, the perennial favorite: "Women [am I right?] *eyeroll*". The sad thing is, men who don't respect women aren't going to stop being assholes because women don't like it. They don't respect us, and our protesting isn't going to change things, because they don't see it as worth their attention. They might not change what they do because men tell them too, but there's at least a chance -however tiny -that they'll LISTEN to someone else of a dudely persuasion. Please, keep in mind what it is to appear to be female, and keep spreading the word that some things are just plain old not okay.

    • It's ridiculous the whole compliments thing especially. There's a way to compliment someone and then there's making someone feel uncomfortable. I can't believe that so many basic manners are just lost on men who are creepy. It's insane and they're completely oblivious to it. Even when you tell them to stop they sometimes think you're just playing hard to get. Women aren't taken seriously enough, or respected anywhere near as much as thought they were before I did this. I knew they weren't seen as equal but I didn't think it would be this uncomfortable.

    • Oh, god, the compliments... If I've put work into something, it's okay to compliment it, but don't FOLLOW me! And catcalling... ugh. I hate it. It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and there is no possible reaction I can have when it happens that will stop it. I can't ignore people who've made it clear they don't respect me and don't give a rat's ass about me feeling secure -especially when they've already signaled that they WOULD have sex with me -regardless of my thoughts on the matter. I can't confront them, because that puts me in greater danger, and they already will not listen to a damn thing I say. "Hey baby, what's your name?" "It's-" "That's cool -wanna have sex?" (-actual "conversation" a friend had). I hate asking other people to deal with my problems, but the only thing I can do that's got ANY chance of doing anything is going to guy friends and BEGGING them to speak up when that shit happens in front of them. And then I'm weak for not handling it on my own.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Whew, ok, good, because that Sean is definitely NOT "convincing", or even a good looking "woman". Yikes... lol. Anyway, no doubt, most men are almost predatory in the way they treat women. And many are indeed acting from a place or impetus of sex. Women must so often feel like "meat", just like you experienced. It's just pathetic, the disconnect from our common humanity, and all in the name of their glorious penis and egos gratification. No substance, or redeeming qualities or values. Just this self-absorbed sense of entitlement, or indifference to others. Great Take. So true.

    • Thanks :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yup, basically what girls have been saying for a long time. It's a little funny how a girl saying stuff like this would often be brushed off or called a "feminazi" or some crap, and yet when a dude says it people suddenly listen. Don't get me wrong, this take is great, it's just a little sad that people ignore women (or any minority really) speaking about their mistreatment at the hands of the majority, but suddenly when a member of the majority says it they're hailed as oh so progressive and amazing for just recognizing how bad others have it. Again, nothing against this take, just annoying how this sort of thing is even necessary. (Also sorry for sorta weird rant like thing.)

    • No don't worry about it. I think it's wrong that women get labelled a 'feminazi' for just speaking the truth too.

  • i think guys who act that way are happy to think it bothers women. they are not interested in being respectful and ids excite them tho think they are having any kind of impact.

    have you noticed anything about the whole 'oh you're a woman you can't possibly know what your talking about or have mastered linear thinking' sort of stuff or is it mostly sexual behavior you took notice of?

    • I did notice that a bit on here. The 'nice guys' on here really take it out on you if you're a woman and won't listen to a thing you say whereas if you're a guy they will give you more of a chance to explain yourself even if the end result is the same. I mostly noticed sexual behaviour in real life because in real life I mostly go out clubbing when dressed as a girl.

  • This was an excellent experiment to do & an awesome read. You Get It! :) Prepare for insults & complaints of how women have it so easy or excuses that those was just meatheads in the club & not all guys are like that lol!

    • Thanks Yeah I don't think hot girls have it easy. Sure, the attention is nice to an extent but when you want to be left alone you just don't get left alone. Not that I'm hot though haha. To be fair, not all guys are like that. There are a lot of creeps but there are a lot of friends I have who are genuinely nice people and don't treat women like objects for sex.

  • I love this take, it's refreshing to see things from another perspective sometimes lol

    • Thanks :)

  • This is a really good take.

    I have nothing else to add. It's just really good and completely true.

    • Thanks :)

  • Aww. That was nice :) I think it's refreshing that you've seen it from both sides and understand. At least it's not girls going mental

  • uproxx.files.wordpress.com/.../...rijmvyo1_540.gif

    This is so true.

    • Haha thanks :)

  • @Silamy what you said about respect really hit me - it really does amaze me how so many men seem to wholesale just fundamentally not respect women *because they're women*. I don't understand it. But I think that right there is the root of the problem.

    (I wrote my own comment to make it easier to get notifications)

    • It really is. Compassion and casual respect (respect as human beings, not as superiors) are possible without total understanding, but they're hard and they require effort and empathy -and people don't generally want to put work into understanding what it's like to be someone else -especially when they already view that person as inferior -or even only as "other". "Why don't they JUST get a job?" "Why don't they JUST invest better?"

  • I loved hearing what you had to say! I couldn't agree with you more on how men approach women at bars and clubs. A simple 'Hi, my name is... So how was your day? ', is a great way to get to know someone.

    • Thanks :) I also learned from female friends just how creepy guys can be. It suprises me how many men just talk to women like they are sex objects. Everything it just sex sex sex, they can't just have a normal conversation with girls. Guys are weird lol.

  • Out of curiosity are you attracted to men, women or both?

    But yeah interesting insight, just goes to show any girl would get hit on and approached way more than 95% of guys.

    • Just women for me. Most crossdressers are straight. I sometimes wondered if I was bi but after having some guy try and kiss me by shoving his mouth into my face I can confirm that I am definitely straight. That was gross, not for me.

    • Ah cool. That's interesting though, what makes you want to cross dress? Since you're dressing in a way that attracts men not women.. unless you want to attract lesbian women?

    • I dunno really. Ever since I was little I remember wanting to dress up and I didn't know why. I wonder if it's to do with self esteem because quite often doing this is a form of escapism for me. It's nice to be someone else for a change. I think it's partly a bit of a fetish as embarrassing as it sounds but it's mostly just fun to dress up. For the most I am just a normal guy with normal boyish interests but I have a bit of a girly side which I hid from the world until about 6 months ago. I did actually pull a lesbian once (my lesbian friend was so jealous haha) but I chickened out because I was worried she'd be able to tell once we kissed. I was worried my stubble had started to grow back haha. Usually though I just go out for a bit a dance.

  • https://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/50287663.jpg

    I loved this take!!! So glad a man was able to experience what women typically go through with men.

    • This picture... yes.

    • Thanks :)

  • I would like being really a girl, but in a girl's body. It would be very interesting to know how it is to be at their place.

  • You hit the nail on the head.

    • Thanks :)

  • A lot of the things you said are completely true, and a lot of men could benefit from knowing how vulnerable we feel, to understand why we act the way we do sometimes. Often when we are 'rude' we are just being cautious and don't want them to get the wrong message. Being a woman in society, you have to tread on eggshells. One wrong move and you could pay the price.

    This is one of my favourite takes i've read. Thank you for posting this. I know a lot of things in life can be eye-opening you just have to be open to looking at things from different perspectives.

    • i doubt they'd care. anyone who is disrespectful is not unaware of it they just dont care--or they like it,. making women feel vulnerable is certainly arousing for a lot of guys., makes them feel 'dominant'.

    • i'm sure some will. i notice men constantly trying to understand the thought process/actions of women so this could help in that sense

    • @azara

    • Show All

  • I like your take.
    As to your experience IRL , when I see your photo, you might draw more attention than 'the common girl'. This could explain more male 'propositions'.

    • True, some people could tell but the ones making propositions couldn't tell that I was a guy. The lesbian who approached me definitely couldn't tell I was a man. Just to clarify, the photo used in this is not of me. It's Sean Bean and he looks like a man haha.

    • Not exactly low profile. High profile people get more attention.

    • No, I don't want to use my own photo to avoid going public. I am keeping a low profile by not using my own photo. I wasn't originally going to use a photo but you have to use one. I didn't want to use a random strangers photo without their permission but I came across a photo of Sean Bean dressed as a woman for a TV drama called 'Accused' and so I chose that. Like I say, if I had my way then I wouldn't have used a photo at all.

  • This is obvious?

  • To be honest everything you said sounded almost positive to me. Women are showered with attention everywhere they go, imagine it being the reverse where where-ever you go as a male you either get no attention or negative attention!

    This just confirms to me that being a male has a lot of hardships too that women take for granted!

    • The attention is nice to an extent. It's not nice when you have a drunk man following you around a nightclub trying to feel you up.

    • See what I mean complaints & excuses. Some guys just don't get it & neither do they want to. Being followed around, felt up, & harassed is not cool.

      Aziz Ansari explains it so well:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2LxzkMsYBQ

    • Creepy Dudes are Everywhere:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2LxzkMsYBQ

    • Show All

  • I stopped reading at the transvestite part

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