My female best friend makes me uncomfortable sometimes?

[Anonymous]

We’ve known each other for years and I love talking to her about my guys probs. We also have a very verbally playful tone. We call each other names and we are super goofy at times.

But I really hate when she says “lesbian “ jokes that come out of no where. For example: “oh, you want to suck my pssy” or I’ll send a middle finger emoji and she will say “I don’t want to fuck you” like it just kills the vibe and makes me uncomfortable. Other things here and there

no I’m not homophobic and I have been attracted to a female but I’m not attracted to my boyfriend at all and I’ve never seen her in that light.

but I think it makes me uncomfortable bc I had a childhood trauma and her saying stuff just makes me uncomfortable

[AimeeKyle]

I would have a conversation with her and let her know that it bothers you. It would help to give some detail/background as to why (only as much as you feel comfortable)..

If you have no interest in entertaining the idea of trying things with her then let her know that as well. If you do have even a hint of a thought that you could/would try something with her…. then talk about that too.

Good communication is always the best bet.

[Asker]

No I don’t want to try absolutely anything with her bc I just don’t want to and I’m not attracted to her in the slightest. It’s just weird I was also touched by my older female cousin when I was younger so I just don’t feel comfortable with it

[AimeeKyle]

Makes sense and is understandable. If you want to keep her as a friend, then you need to clearly communicate your thoughts with her and move past it.

[Asker]

I feel like that’s tricky bc I feel like she’ll ask “what are you talking about” and turn it on me. I’ll just limit contact

[Asker]

How do I properly word it?

[AimeeKyle]

Well….. I think you have to wait for the right moment. The two of you are alone and in an atmosphere where you can talk open / honestly. I also think it would be easiest to address after she makes one or more of her lesbian jokes / comments. At that point, just say….. I would appreciate it if we could stop what we are doing and have a quick discussion. And then just tell her you are uncomfortable with the jokes / comments surrounding lesbian activities, etc. I think it would be worthwhile to give a very high level summary of why….. like you had a very bad experience as a child and hearing those types of things makes you cringe….. and if she asks for additional details, just say that you still haven’t come to terms with it and do not feel comfortable giving any more details/talk about it any further. End it by saying, thank you for understanding…. I really do appreciate your caring and support…… Hopefully that helps.

[Asker]

I just told her how I felt and she apologized and said that’s how she jokes with her other female friends

[AimeeKyle]

Awesome…. good for you. I’m glad it worked out for you!

[JPresidente]

She indirectly letting you know she’s bi-curious and would be down to trying something with you.

[Asker]

Ewwww fuck no

[JPresidente]

Yikes!

[Asker]

I’m not a lesbian. Not saying I haven’t been attracted to a female but no. I don’t look at her in that way at all.

[JPresidente]

Is she pretty or butch looking?

[Asker]

It’s not that I’m just not interested.. but growing up she had a bad vaginal smell so all of it is no I don’t see her that way. So many women are into stuff like that but I don’t think you should with someone you’ve known for years..

[JPresidente]

You’ve got me cracking up here…. sorry. 😂 how do you know she has a bad vaginal smell? 😂

[Asker]

Lol BC YOU COULD SMELL IT Everyone kinda could

[JPresidente]

😂😂😂 ok I have to ask another question. If it didn’t smell, would you? 🤷‍♂️🤪

[Asker]

No I would not bc I’m not into that

[JPresidente]

Gotcha. 👍 I needed that laugh. You are a trip. 😂

[Asker]

Lol it’s a no for me all the way

[Asker]

Strictly dickly

[JPresidente]

You are on a roll girl. That made me laugh too. 😂 Follow me if you feel so inclined. 🤣

[JPresidente]

No follow? Think of the fun you’re missing out on? 😂

[Guy13]

Does it sound like she is coming on to you?

[Asker]

That’s what I’m trying to figure out but I would def stop talking to her

[Asker]

Does it sound like it?

[Guy13]

It does to me... What does your gut tell you?

[Asker]

Yes, I think she’s taking advantage of my vulnerability I should prob step back

[Guy13]

Then step back...