My Follow-Up to "Man Is Seen As A Predator..." Take (With Best Comments Chosen)

So a lot of you know about my recent Take ‘Man Is Seen As Predator…’ as I was pretty surprised to see it go viral and pull in so many responses. Some people made some interesting points, and others were just moot really. But I wanted to write this follow up to feature what I thought were the best responses and even probe the situation a little more.

My Follow-Up to

People finding fault with the mom....

Some people tried to say that the whole thing was really just the mother’s way of exploiting the situation for publicity by taking pictures, and I don’t think that was her intent at all. If so she could’ve just as easily made up a story about what we all see in the photo as a way to scam us out of sympathy and money like other moms have done with their kids. She’s a photographer, and photography is a form of art, so she happened to see a photo-worthy moment in the situation and wanted to capture it. I’m somewhat the same way because I too am an artist.

People telling the couple they shouldn’t have taken pictures and should’ve just gone to the hospital…

They didn’t even know their son was that sick to begin with. They probably just thought he had the flu or something, and that a cold shower might’ve helped. When I was 16 and had respiratory infection, neither I nor my family knew that’s what it was despite me throwing up. We didn’t know what it was, but had no idea it was as intense as it looked until I got into the ER. Sometimes people are uncertain of their condition or their loved one’s, and can’t be sure if it’s something worth going to the hospital for or not. Sometimes it seems like a simple infection that you have to let run its course, and other times it's worse. In the boy’s case, it was, and they didn’t realize it was necessary to take him until the father noticed the kid’s breathing was failing.

People saying the father should’ve kept his clothes on…

If the guy was going to get wet with his little boy, I doubt keeping his clothes on would’ve been very ideal. And like some of the females were saying who commented, mothers have been naked with their babies before, so why is it pervy because a father is naked with his own blood too? It’s not like he did it with the boy being 16 or something. It does still seem to be that people program themselves to view fathers being fathers as sexually predatory, yet complain if he’s not being a father. What makes it less pervy for a mother to get naked with her baby than a man with his baby son? No one would've said anything about a picture like this:

My Follow-Up to "Man Is Seen As A Predator..." Take (With Best Comments Chosen)


I’m glad that so many people - even females - were smart enough to recognize the way society and the media have brainwashed us to see men as predators even in blood situations. Some people tried to say how it can’t be helped because there are so many child sex abuse cases in these times with men and fathers, yet pedophilia by women is really not very uncommon. Especially in the United States. What's uncommon is how often it's actually reported.

Women make up 2% of sex offenders in the U.S. according to known stats, and there are still more than those that are undocumented. Why? Because not only are many victims too ashamed to report being sexually abused by a woman, but many state legal systems decide what classifies as sexual offense when a woman is the perpetrator. Just imagine how many women offenders are getting away with it. Some people - mostly women - say, “Even still though, even if all those women really were prosecuted, that still doesn’t rival the number of male sex offenders and pedophiles.” Probably not, but I’m sure it’s still high enough that it can be prosecuted. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that 20 or 30% of sex offenders, whether pedophilic or rapist, are women. If even still not more than that.


Also, you have a lot of women involved in child pornography. That is quite common in the U.S. and some other nations like the UK. If you Google ‘women and child pornography’ you will see new cases all the time. I did it just today and saw cases as recent as last month from several different cities and states, and when I Googled it last year I saw most cases relevant to that time frame as well. The media, however, is very terrified of reporting it because it’ll be accused of sexism or have women saying that the news is trying to demonize women. So you hear very few reports of it, but can easily find them on Internet news articles. That’s a pretty significant indication of what’s going on with women and sexual crime.

My Follow-Up to "Man Is Seen As A Predator..." Take (With Best Comments Chosen)

Lynn Necaise, charged with possessing child porn

My Follow-Up to "Man Is Seen As A Predator..." Take (With Best Comments Chosen)

Lori Bauer, accused of making child porn


A lot of women partake in child pornography for money, and have even had their own kids in it. I’m not sure if they exactly get a thrill out of it, but even doing it for money is bad - if not worse. If you can be fine with raping a toddler or pre-teen on video for some bucks, or being fine letting a man rape your kids on video, it says your morals are exceedingly decadent.


So here society is being squeamish about men and babies/children, when there are more than just a few women abusing children, or sitting back and being fine with men abusing children if it means women can get some money, or something else they might want. People might think it’s understandable to be cautious about men and kids, but they can’t make me their fool. And the rest of us shouldn’t let them either.

My MIOs…

My Follow-Up to "Man Is Seen As A Predator..." Take (With Best Comments Chosen)

So since GaG still has not chosen to listen to some of us and enable us to give a user best answer for Takes, I’m gonna go ahead and give my picks for MIO: Most Impactful Opinion. And they are more than one since the Take went so viral. Here are the winners:


@hellionthesage

“Not only is their nothing wrong with it, I think their should be more images like this, of fathers nurturing their children. Its because of this outcry that the notion that fathers are not paternal/nurturing is so prevalient, because every time a man tries he is labeld a pedophile or pervert. Its an unfare double standard. Quite frankly she should never have removed the picture because its something that needs to be seen, it needs to be as prevalent as when mothers are portrayed as nurturing because that is the only way to actually change perceptions, make it so common place no one even thinks twice about it.”


@4465loveyou5577

“Are you serious, mothers post pics like this all the time. Why would it be any different for the father?


Besides skin to skin contact is the best way to comfort infants and young children. I hold my infant niece topless all the time for that same reason.”


@PippiL

“I read somewhere that the reason they put him in the shower was because he had horrible diarrhea and was pooping and puking nonstop. The shower seemed like the best option, since all the liquids could just run down the drain. His dad probably got in with him to comfort him. I'm sure it was pretty traumatizing for the poor little guy.”


@helloitsmethere

“What? Are you serious? It is a man and his baby son taking a shower together. Is he doing anything inappropriate to the child? No? Then why is this a problem?

I swear people blow things out of proportions sometimes and it annoys me..

Why is there such a sickening stereotype that 'all men are predators' or 'all men are sex-crazed maniacs?' Seriously, this is getting out of hand...”


@lilac_flowers

“What do you expect when you have feminists demonizing male sexuality for over 60 years? All men are predators, didn't you hear?”


@Tdieseler

“You should see what happens in parks with dads keeping an eye on their daughters/sons while they play on the sets. All the mothers giving him the stank eye. this is nothing new to me... I've been reading stories like this for years. Men just looked at as predators even to their own kids. I've heard of cases where children won't be released from their schools to the father unless express consent is stated by the mother... its disgusting really.”


@meowcow

“What you describe can be boiled down to a single underlying fact.

That is, the internet is the culminating point for the people on this planet (who are mostly idiots).


The internet has no single voice, no clear intent and no focus. For every picture, concept, idea and thought, there are 7 billion different points of view or ways of perceiving it.


As for this picture, there are fathers out there who have probably done the same thing and can relate. Others are victims of child sexual abuse with bad family ties, who only perceive the photo as sexual and perverted. If you want a good opinion on something, especially something that is sensitive in nature or controversial, the internet is not the place to ask it or show it to. You will basically be inviting the 6.9 billion fucktards on the internet who will drown on the 0.1 billion people with decent, intelligent advice and opinions.


The internet, for all its great uses, is also the place for trolls, losers, underachievers and similar people to make their voices heard because nobody pays attention to them in real life.”


@MakeShiftThug

“This seems to be an issue in mostly first world countries, except for Japan I think.

For example, naked people bathing in a river in India ( rural areas ) is pretty normal.


People just like to assume the worst.”

No.1

My Follow-Up to "Man Is Seen As A Predator..." Take (With Best Comments Chosen)

Nothing blew me away like the very perceptive, intelligent response from @gapminder. He couldn’t have been more correct:


“Americans are complete idiots when it comes to nudity. We are the biggest hypocrites because we over sexualize everything to the point that we have convinced our society that the only reason to be naked is for sex or sexual pleasure. We have convinced society that nudity is therefore dirty and never to be seen in public. And since all men want sex, then the only reason a man would be naked with his children couldn't possibly be for any other reason right? The world is a big place, and I find it interesting that most of the civilized world "outside of the USA" wouldn't even bat an eye or even question such a loving gesture.”


A big thank you and round of applause for everyone else who gave very intelligent arguments and perspectives.

1 4

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so proud to see this post! And yes women can be pedophiles too. My mother in law sexually abused my toddler. Husband and his family keep telling me that kids make up this kind of stuff all the time. Bull shit they don't not while my toddler stays home with me and I monitor everything toddler sees we watch nick jr and dysney jr. So she's in the process of being prosecuted and on the sex offender list. So my take on this post is that yes fathers have every right to be the parent they need to be. Yes mothers bathe with their children sometimes up to 3 years of age and it's not seen as weird or incestous so why put the father figurine as the perv. Yes society has labeled sex offenders and pedophiles as men only which is absurd and appalling to say the least. As a society we need to be frank and honest with eachother and our children. After all we deserve to live in a world with no preconceived notions about fathers only seeing their children as sex objects. It's sad and pathetic to say the least.

    • Bravo!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Thanks for the mention. I would also point out that women being sexual predators is actually really common its just as you pointed out not something "polite" society likes to talk about. 90% of rapes in juvenile detention centers where commited by women only, thats not a tiny number. We just as a society and species are more willing to view men as perpetrators of violence and sex crimes (biologicly its due to neotenous traits which women have more of giving them a more child like appereance etc that creates a strong protective instinct but who's side affect is also to make them seem less capable while men having less of these traits are seen as more capable and by extention having more power and the ability to use it with little instinctive need to protect them). Good take (both of them).

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 7
  • Haha... some creativity here lol. thanks for the mention ManOnFire.
    Good shit @gapminder that was quite apt.

    • Thanks man

  • This made me think of 'If Moms Were Treated Like Dads' (Youtube, BuzzFeedVideo) - especially from 1:07.

    I'm often conscious as I walk around town that I may be seen as a threat just because of my size and sex. This also makes men less willing to engage in healthy, intimate behaviours so it is a self-fulfilling prophecy and society becomes entrenched in this pattern.

  • media.giphy.com/media/bAUp9Lcx1HY4/giphy.gif
    Respect fam, thanks for the mention.

    This is a very controversial topic and I admire your courage and patience for tackling this head on!

  • Thank you very much for the mention! :)
    I am also glad that you have touched this topic as well.

  • Thank you... from a single dad , that's about to send my 12 year old boy off on a school trip abroad !!

  • Thank you @ManOnFire I really appreciate your kind words and admire your passion on social issues. If we lived near each other I would totally buy you a beer.

    • @gapminder Dude, I would love that. I haven't had a guy's night out in a long time.

  • it saddens me that people would regard men predators for taking care of their kids.

  • Education ! and change! And like that you have given props! Congrats to all!!!