Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health So basically she is dating this guy. He was no good from the start, I never liked him he is a problematic man who often gets into trouble. Anyway, the story she told me is that she invited him over for pancakes and he came. But the moment he got in, he just grabbed her and put her on the table, taking his pants off. She TOLD HIM to stop, that she is not into quickies, but he ignored it and forcefully nailed her against the table, took her panties off and penetrated her until he came. She said she SCREAMED for him to stop and that she tried to KICK him, but he was stronger. He was holding her so tight that she couldn't move and now has bruises on her arms and hips and legs. It hurt her womb too because he has big penis, she even bled. He came after 5 minutes and, the way she told me, when he saw her crying he "realized" what he has done. He hugged her tightly and apologized and said that he just couldn't resist it, that he was too horny and her screaming and telling him to stop just turned him on more. His final word was "It happens sometimes". Then he said he will TRY not to do it again.
And she forgave him. Because she is so stupidly in love with him, she believed him. But she said that she will report him if it happens again.
So, my debate here is that I KNOW A RAPER. I want to freaking kill him. But he is her boyfriend and I can't say anything. Isn't this still a crime?
My friend got raped but doesn't want to report the guy. What should I do?
Anonymous
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What Girls & Guys Said
6 52It's still a crime, obvious.
About morality, I would let her something clear:she needs therapy.
There should be some reason to be with a raper, and she must discover why and how to solve that tendency.
I mean it's really her decision. I guess be there for her and try to convince her other wise but it's never good to out somebody for them
It only becomes a crime when she makes it one, unless she wants to report it stay out of it
Nah thats not acceptable. Report him for her, he's gonna do it again and she will become numb to it as time goes on
Yes it is a crime.
eugh... fucking animal. She bled? Thats fucked up.
She forgave him? She must have really low self respect. I mean he is her boyfriend so there is some aspect of consent there, especially if she puts up with shit like this, I mean why give a guy a reason to think they can do this? Tell me not to victim blame all day but listen to me, if she is cool with him doing this, and won’t stand up for herself, this is her life and she's runnin it I mean come on!
Sound weird, but WRITE with your friend about it, so you have her story on paper and go to the police with it yourself. It is a serious crime
If she has refused to report a rape case, then she should never complain about "rape culture" since she practices it.
That's the victim's decision, and most certainly NOT yours.
Actually you can report him. She will probably deny it. He will probably deny it. You will lose a friend. Yet you can still report it.
You can't do anything until your friend wants to report him
Of course it's a crime, but if she doesn't want to report it, I think you should just leave it at that and at most offer her mental support.
I was in your situation. A friend of mine told me her husband had raped her the night before. She didn't want to to anything about it.. I got invited there a few days later. I had to look him in the face knowing what he did.
That excuse he said was roughly what my friend's husband said. What bullshit.
I told her I've got a penis like him and I have control of it. He isn't an animal. He has free will.
Unfortunately all you can do is say what you think. She needs to break up with him and go for rape counselling. The problem is you can't make her do anything. The counselling is really important. To end my story she and I married a few years later. That rape unfortunately completely messed her up. She was scared of lying next to me in a bed in case I'd try something. It was horrible. She started becoming unstable and abusive. Nothing like she used to be.
She had an affair and I divorced her.
I really miss the old person she was.
If only she'd got counselling :-(
That's heartbreaking for both you and her.
At the very least she should go to the hospital and ask for the rape kit. The kit will basically examine her for damage, test her for std's and becomes proof of possible rape. Then it's basically her decision whether to report him or not.
Agreed
Respect her wishes.
Convince her and report it yourself, even if it breaks a friendship. Rape should be reported. It is the moral thing to do.
report his ass... sorry... i am a male rape victim i was raped as a kid and it messed me up i fear men badly
Nope that's not a rape and she's not reporting bc deep down she knows it was her fault.
That's why metoo has failed, bc of women like you!
How was that her fault?
@mikylahhutcheson because she let him come in her house and he was her boyfriend so she knows court would not easily believe her. And it's her fault she chose a wrong man!
How’d she know she was choosing a guy that would do this too her? And just because he’s her boyfriend doesn’t make it right. And so you’re saying that because she chose him even though she didn’t know he’d rape her that it’s her fault? I mean sure it’s a risk that could happen, but that doesn’t mean it’s her fault. So what if you get a girlfriend and she rapes you, would that be you’re fault? Because you chose her? Or you rape a girlfriend you get, is it her fault because she chose you even though you’re the one that chose to do that action?
@mikylahhutcheson "How’d she know she was choosing a guy that would do this too her?" a thing know as experience and common sense, or If she had used her brain instead of thinking emotionally. im not saying the guy fucked her good, im saying its her fault as well bc if she had used her brain, it could've, probably, been avoided. and my girlfriend can't rape me bc we have good communication and we both make sure we are satisfied, both emotionally and physically. and she doesn't need to rape lol. i used my brain while choosing this girl. others, i just fucked bc i knew they were not my type.
He didn't rape her. You should mind your own business.
yeah as much as i hate to say this. if you want to keep her as a friend. let her do it her way. But if it happens again and it more then likely will call the police.