My friends with benefits brought up kids? ?

So my friends with benefits of 3 years has all the time been a total fuckboy, but lately we have been getting closer, and yesterday he casually was like, that if we don't have kids/partners in two years, we'll just get them together... and said that he'd give me cute tall kids and stuff.

Compleeetely out of charachter for him to say.

Like hold the fuck up, does he have feelings or what? Or is he trying to do some weird manupulation stuff to keep me around forever?

Updates:
9 mo
he is 29 by the way
0 0

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • Wow. "hold the fuck up"... indeed.

    While I'm not going to try and tell you what you should do here... I can tell you that this is not a guy trying to do some weird manipulation stuff to keep you around.

    Unless there are other signs that this is a manipulative guy, then I would say it's definitely not some calculated plot to keep you around. Basically, that would be extraordinarily fucked up thing for any guy to do. Unless he's shown himself to be a sociopath in other ways... it's a safe bet no guy would do this for those reasons.

    So, it could certainly be a guy who is starting to have feelings. That isn't uncommon. But, on-it-face it doesn't automatically mean that (although, it certainly can mean that).

    Considering you guys have been friends with benefits for 3 years... it could be more like the 'friendship based':

    "Hey... maybe if neither of us finds the right person by the time we turn 30... you and I should just get married"

    You know... the cliche idea of just 'settling' for marrying your close friend (even though you don't really have those romantic feelings) if you don't find Mr/Mrs Right.

    So I can see why this would freak you out. For sure. But it COULD have been meant... as a 'friendly' thing... maybe (?)

    You're gonna have to talk to him either way. What else can you do? Keep sleeping with him and pretend he didn't bring up the children he pictures having with you? No, you need to ask him what's up. Because he just harpooned your friends with benefits situation.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Is that somehow a bad thing? Heaven forbid that having sex might cause feelings and an emotional connection. Why would anyone want to have sex with a person but not value the actual person? It sounds very selfish and self centered. Either form a relationship and start a family or stop being reckless. friends with benefits is immature and playing with someone else’s life. You can bet there will be feelings and an eventual longing for companionship and a serious relationship by at least one of the two. If you can’t respect that, then let the other person go so they will find someone who will be respectful and committed.

    • The thing is that I myself have kind of developed feelings, but since he's a fuckboy I'm SO scared to get the wrong idea and being led on.. In my head it's 50/50 if he has feelings or is manipulating me

    • Well I defiantly hope he isn’t playing you. I more than understand why it’s scary to gain feelings and lay it on the line. That said, when two people find each other and honorably commit, those feelings can be expressed because both people will protect each other’s heart. Love is an amazing feeling. Sex becomes x1000 better when you know you are loved by the person doing you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It's all bedroom talk, chillz don't be fooled. Unless he openly proposes, take it all as playful teasing.

    Also, Friends with benefits for 3 years? You're really hell bent on destroying your life aren't you? Stop and get out

    Kind regards,
    DoctorSex

    • Also when it was after sex? Do you think he's just playing with my head? I know that I'll need to end this sooner or later

    • I think you're playing with your own head my dear. Your situation has more red flags than a national parade in China. You're seriously playing with fire, you have a duty to yourself to love, honour and respect yourself and you're breaking all those rules. Kind regards, DoctorSex

  • You are woman making awful choices in men, where is the mystery?

    Fast forward a few years and you will be either whining that the guy who knocked you up is a useless fuck boy or you will be complaining that you can't find a man that you like now that you have decided to stop riding around on a cock carousel.

  • maybe he has grown to like you thats why, maybe he wants to try and see if you're interested in the long game

    • Fuck I hope so, but I'm so scared that it's all a game to get me obsessed with him

    • Well hmmm I think he's grown to like you. But one way is to just ask him so you don't have to guess

  • LMAO. Maybe you shouldn’t have a friends with benefits.

    • You got that right.. once he starts being nice, I fall head over heels :')

    • Because that’s how they use you.

    • Nice for a while and then back to being whatever he is.

  • He's in love with you and concealed it.