My fuckbuddy keeps trying to have a 3some with me and his friends - why do you think?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22 and he's 27, and we have been having sort of a friends with benefits / bootycall relationship for about 1,5 years. We are not exclusive or anything.
Recently he's been wanting to have e threesome with him and his friends. (he has requested it with two different guys).
I'm curious about it, but don't feel comfortable yet, and I have told him this. He keeps bringing it up though.

But why would he even want that? Like what do you think the motivation is behind it? Is he trying to flex on his friends or something?

[tony_baloney]

Some men just don't have that level of discomfort with sex. I have a coworker who is like that with his roommates. Theyll go out, meet some chicks, bring them back to their place, and have an orgy xD not my thing, but hey, different strokes lmao

I think the more important question is, do you trust these men to stop if you feel uncomfortable?

[Asker]

Yeah him and his friends are like that - and they have done threesomes before. But like why me? It could ruin our whole thing, and I've said no like 3 times. They should just go find someone else lol And to answer your question - that is the reason why I'm saying no. I like the idea of a threesome, but not with him and his friends. I honestly don't think they would stop

[tony_baloney]

Well... as harsh as this sounds, you're likely just a sex object in his eyes. (Which is really the whole point of fwb) so I think your reluctance and discomfort of the question means very little to him. He'll likely continue to ask until you say "yes" because there are no consequences to you saying "no". What's he got to lose? I apologize if this comes off preachy, but why continue talking to him at all? I'd be nervous about coming over and there being multiple guys waiting anyway. Please please please try to be safe! I know men who are good at (or even care about) getting women off are hard to find, but don't put yourself in danger.

[Asker]

You're completely right - I have even prepared myself for the scenario of him "suprising" me with a friend at his place :') I guess I'm only still seeing him because I prefer to have sex with someone I "know" and I'm not so good at breaking out of my comfort zone and meeting new guys.. I've actually been searching for someone new on tinder for like a year, but I haven't found anyone lol

[tony_baloney]

Are you telling me you're activity searching for an friends with benefits type of relationship and have had no luck? ... how? Lmao I always assumed that was extremely easy for women (x Also~ in the two years I used online dating, I only got 1 date and she catfished me! Hahaha After I tore down the last bits of my insecurity and just got out there asking people out I found attractive, I usually had 1- 3 dates a week. That is, until I met my incredible girlfriend ^_^ It's SO much easier to meet people out in the world than on the Internet. I met my girlfriend at the Spirit of Halloween store. Just stopped in to see what they had on my way to my mom's place to help her with yard work and when I saw her I couldn't look away. I had to say something. Huge digression, but my point is just go start talking to the next guy you think is cute. Play with your hair, compliment him, laugh a lot. If he don't get that signal, he's crazy, gay, dumb, or taken lmao If you need someone to talk to I love to listen and offer advice. I'll even hand the phone over to my girlfriend if you'd like. She's the same way (x

[Asker]

It IS very easy, but I'm incredibly picky haha - I can hardly find anyone that I want to swipe right on.. He has to look a certain way and live in my area and so on In real life I'm kind of shy as well (at first), and I don't go out like ever, so it's hard to meet someone irl. I know people are very outgoing in the US, but I live in a Scandinavian country, and it's considered really weird to just talk to a stranger, if you're not in some sort of party setting haha

[tony_baloney]

Oh wow, I hadn't even considered cultural differences. If I'm being honest, there's MANY people here who will get weirded out in those situations as well. If you try to strike up a conversation with someone on a bus or in a subway you usually get veery creeped out stares. Same with a lot of places actually. I guess you just have to know when and how to read a room. Just had a debate the other day with my coworker where he said you should NEVER talk to people you don't know because it's creepy xD he said it's only okay to meet people through school, forced social events, through friends, or through family, but I think that's bullshit lmao. My closest friends and girlfriend are all people I approached. My best friend in the world I met walking down my street at 2am while I was 14. I used to be shy myself until I just shook off the cobwebs. It's just a state of mind where you realise how much you have to offer and don't let others opinions dimish the feeling ^_^ Okay now I'm definitely getting preachy

[Asker]

That's true, but it being almost a social norm that you are a weirdo if you talk to people in random public places combined with the fact that I'm a girl and a shy girl as well - I would feel way too vulnerable trying to talk to a random guy. Also I hardly ever see someone I could be interested in, because I really am thAt picky. It's like as if I can only get attracted to people that I already know - coworkers and so on.. And new people are just not doing it for me haha

[tony_baloney]

Interesting. What exactly does a person need to qualify for your attraction?

[Asker]

Ideally he should have "high social status", be confident, tall, muscular/athletic built (doesn't need to have a sixpack or anything but), nice jawline, nice hair, nice hands and a nice walk is also strangely important to me haha I sound psycho I know, but there are the things I'm looking for in a sexual partner haha If it was to be a boyfriend I would maybe not be just as picky, but more picky regarding personality.

[tony_baloney]

Yikes... you're really widdling down your options there.. does your fuck buddy really have that high of a social status? Are you like... THAT attractive that your standards are that high? Again, not trying to sound mean.. but if you're like 400 pounds that's kind of an unfair standard to have lmao

[Asker]

Yeah I can't really tell you why, or I guess it's like when all the girls wanted the popular guy in school, because it's sexy somehow. My ex was that guy in school haha And yes I think so, despite being socially awkward I'm very attractive myself, if I'm the guys type; tall, skinny (a bit underweight actually though), big eyes, long hair and stuff I'm not this arrogant towards people in real life, but it's my inner thoughts hah

[tony_baloney]

I guess if you're just looking for a fuck buddy it's really mostly about appearance xD hadn't considered that lmao

[Anonymous]

Just a fantasy of his I assume. But just tell him to stop bringing it up. That you know he wants it and if/when you are ready, you'll let him know. Because you're curious, he's just trying to convince you (as you would if it was reversed probably right?).

[Mia-Wallace]

I don't know. But why is that important? You either like it or you don't.

[Asker]

I like the idea, but I don't think I would ever do it with him and his friend/s. They would just push me into doing it if I changed my mind. I just don't understand why he keeps bringing it up - like why would he rather fuck me with another guy, rather than alone I for sure would not want to share a guy with another girl

[Mia-Wallace]

"I don't think I would ever do it with him and his friend/s"" Done. No need to think more. "like why would he rather fuck me with another guy, rather than alone" You're fuckbuddies and he wants to experiment his fantasies. That's all. He thinks and cares about sex and the thought turns him on. That's enough reason for him to insist on experimenting it with you. There's no mysterious reason.

[Asker]

I just always want to understand everybody's motives for everything haha And I know he has done it befor with the same friends, with random girls. So I'm like why me, leave me alone haha

[summiter]

He wants to impress his friends of course. It is your decision not his. Does he really want to watch you screw other guys in front of him? If you say yes make them all wear condoms.

[Asker]

Well only 1 other guy - he just asked in two instances where he was hanging with two different guys. But do you think that is the motivation? To impress his friends with the fact that he knows a girl who is up for such things?

[summiter]

Or is it that his friend thinks your are hot and wants a great orgasm with you. Are you up to having 2 guys? Say each one goes for 2 or 3 rounds you might be kinda sore (use some lube) but you might also have some great orgasms. How is your sex life with your boyfriend now,,, a lot of sex... good orgasms?

[summiter]

Do you want to is what is important. If each of them went for round 2 or 3 with you are you cool with that... you might get kinda sore! But you might also be missing out on some great orgasms. Is his friend hot or the kind of guy you would want to get naked with? How is your sex life with your current bf? Frequent... good orgasms?

[Asker]

Yeah his friend thinks I'm hot too - I have talked to him once before I knew they were planning threesomes and all that... I guess I like the fantazy of it, but they want to do it in a way that one is fucking me, and I'm sucking the other one. I think I might just get nervous, stressed and awkward on the inside lol. And I don't think they would stop if I got uncomfortable, so I don't think it's ever gonna happen - not with these guys at least. He is not my boyfriend, just my fuckbuddy. And the sex is fine and he is hot, but I've never even been able to orgasm from sex lol

[Asker]

When that is said, I'm not sure if I think his friend is hot enough either lol

[summiter]

It sounds like you may think it is fun but I bet you will have some regrets. They will have great orgasms and you won't... what is in it for you?

[Asker]

Exactly! There would be nothing in it for me, and I would just feel like a used toy lol

[Truthatanycost]

You are using each other for dopamine hit, and are asking why he'd want to try something that will give a potentially higher one? LOL.

[Asker]

It wouldn't give me a bigger dopamine hit I don't think. Don't get why it would him

[Truthatanycost]

It's the same reason why men want to watch new porn. The current porn gives diminishing return so they need to search for more. In your situation, adding other people will give him a new source of dopamine, but it will vary from person to person. The real trick is to get this dopamine internally, through your life purpose and other stuff.

[normalice]

My guess is he feels slightly guilty about doing someone 5 years younger and wants to share the wealth with his friends.

[Asker]

Is the "guilty" thing sarcastic? haha So you think he's trying to impress them?

[MackToday]

He's probably a queer.

[Asker]

Nah he wants the type of situation where the guys don't touch lol

[MackToday]

He wants dudes in his bed fucking his girl probably fucking him. At the very least he's a cuck.

[Asker]

I'm only his fuckbuddy though

[MackToday]

That's sickening in and of it's self.

[bangyourhead]

cause he tells his friends what a hoe you are and figures he can get his buddies laid too.

[Asker]

I actually asked him if this was the reason hahah He replied like "if you asked if it could just be you two I would say no way" I'm not sure though lol

[bangyourhead]

Right.

[Asker]

Yeah lol

[oncpl]

You have confessed of being curious, so go for it and enjoy 3some.

[Asker]

being curious about the idea of a threesome in general is completely different from actually doing the deed. He's kind of douchy and probably wouldn't stop if I was uncomfortable in the situation, so I've said no so far

[oncpl]

My understanding about being curious is somewhat different. If I am curious for something, I would like to touch, see closely or experience.

[Asker]

But I do in a way, just not with him haha He's too pushy

[oncpl]

So you like 3some. Very nice. I appreciate it.

[Cellestial]

You mean nothing to him except some "easy sex" that he can offer for his friends.

[Asker]

I'm gonna hit him with this next time he asks haha

[KrakenAttackin]

He wants to share his piece of ass with his bro's. Why not? Friends share everything, even dumb whores.

[Druvzz]

Are you guys still having sex even in this coronavirus situation?

[Asker]

Yeah, but I don't live in America

[Anonymous]

I'm probably just thinks it would be hot to see you have sex with someone else

[Asker]

Weird but interesting...

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I don't know what it is but I really like watching my girlfriend do it