My girlfriend had casual sex in the past, I am turned off by it?

[Anonymous]

I found out that my girlfriend had 2 times casual sex with two strangers.
Now that i know it i am completly turned off by her and i lost all my attractiion for her.
I know its the past and it shouldn't matter, but alone the fact that she can do casual sex is gross.

I never understood casual sex. For me sex is sth two people share when they love each other. And than there are humans, my girlfriend included, who do it so casually just for fun.

How can she allow someone she dont even love inside her own body?
How can she do it so casually?

What should i do? Its 2 weeks since i know and i really am not attracted to her anymore.

[wolverine101]

If your girl is 100% devoted to you and shows you that you are more desirable than anyone that came before I think that is the best you will get out of this (common) situation. If you can’t get over it then there really isn’t anything more to say. The emotion you are feeling is the human form of ‘mate guarding’, an evolved psychological condition that aids in assuring that the mate you choose is devoted only to you resulting in you being assured that the children she has are genetically yours. You see that her having had casual sex means that her standards are really low and subconsciously you are concerned that she will cheat on you. If she needed to be in love and in a long term relationship before having sex with a guy your concern would be lessened because it is unlikely she will subsequently fall in love with someone else when you’re around.

[HGG3805]

Lighten up. Even if you can assume it was a case of poor judgment that does not make her a terrible person. We all make mistakes. On the other side, how does her having sex with two "stranger" guys taint her? What does that prove to you about her? Bad judgement? She is now shorter? She now makes a terrible omelet? Her feet are now larger? She can't get a credit card?

So I assume that you have not had "meaningless" sex. Sex does not require Love. Some of the best sex I have ever had was with friends. Some of the most mediocre sex I have had has been with a woman I loved.

If you really and truly can't forgive her for a past experience, then you need to set her free. That is your loss. May that never happen to you. And may you find the lady of your dreams who has never has casual sex.

[Anonymous]

Two past sexual partners isn't a lot, really, for someone in her 20s. Who cares if the relationships were more casual in nature, as long as she's STD free? It's not like she has a count of 10 haha. Two is nothing. Coming from someone who's still a virgin, I think mutual attraction, personality compatibility, and how you feel around each other matters more than the past. But it sounds like this is really bothering you so you should do what feels right for you.

If you can't get past it and have lost all attraction for her, then definitely break up. Keep in mind though, in your mid-late twenties, you may have a hard time finding someone who has never had sex outside of a committed relationship.

[Asker]

2 were casual, she also had 6 bfs with whom she of course slept with.

[cupkek]

And how old is she? lol Like really.. you are being petty. Break up with her and seek therapy for your deep seeded issues on whatever the hell is causing this resentment towards her.

[Asker]

@cupkek For someone of your age you act pretty immature.

[cupkek]

Because I answered a question you asked and you don't like my opinion?

[Anonymous]

Reading all the opinion here, it seems like she has had 8 lovers. Two casual, and 6 boyfriends.

Every guy, and every girl come to that, has a certain limit where they say someones past is too much. That is their right. Yes, everyone has the right to sleep with as many others as they chose. However, it remains THEIR problem if a potential guy or girl thinks it is too many.

The asker had a limit in his own mind, and that has been breached. Just as some people want to marry a virgin, he is doing no more than exercising his right to decide if this is acceptable or not.

[Opinion Owner]

I do not know why this question has been reported. I see nothing wrong with it.

[Apoteket]

Okay firstly, do you even know why she did it? Maybe she was insecure, maybe she didn't find value in sex before she met you? Maybe she wanted to explore?

Sorry but I see this from another view and we are all different and gotta accept each others different views on things. If you love her you'd ignore her past and focus on what you have now and if you're not attracted then leave her.

[Anonymous]

No offense but she chose you to be monogamous with. Her past is her past, she is better off without a partner being judgmental. If you wanted to date a pure person and in this generation... with technology, you should resort to arranged marriage. Love grows and it takes work.

[flyawaygibbon]

I have to agree, the past is the past dont worry about it. If u give oral sex to a girl should ur wife or girlfriend leave you because of it? No

[Asker]

@flyawaygibbon The past is the past= you can do whatever the shit you want to do cause actions have no consequences. This is the only meaning of the past is the past. Most times used by people who dont want to be judged cause they are naive, immature and pathetic.

[juicyjessie]

The whole thing is, the past follows you. You cannot outrun it. What seemed good fun at the time can catch you up and bite you on the bum. How does the asker know that he is not going to be "just another casual guy"?

[Opinion Owner]

That is the point I was trying to convey in my message. If he has doubt then he needs to not be with her. He can ask his peers but ultimately it is his decision to do the right thing. The longer he takes the more you are playing with her and makes you no better. If he cannot move past it.

[AzureGirl]

Just break up with her if it bothers you so much. Let her be with someone who actually does like her.

[Asker]

Not nice to say that i dont like her

[AzureGirl]

Just being truthful. You have nothing in your question that specifies otherwise

[Berethor]

Well it's makes sense for you to be turned off by her slutty past.

[DevikaButts95]

Gee, wow one thing and you won't date her anymore. I see you really deserved her.
Just dump her so she can go find someone better than you mate.

[Asker]

Thanks. This is called standards, if someone can't meet them anymore, why should i think the same way about her? You would have understood it if you had any standards.

[DevikaButts95]

No no no. Standards would be something like "is this person a good person" or hell even how attractive they are. Not something trivial and meaningless as what you're going on about. Don't mistake this for standards. This is just being merely too picky over something that doesn't matter at all.

[Bandit74]

If you're you're not attractived anymore to her then dump her. It might be hard to find a girl who hasn't had any casual sex tho.

[MiamiMadness]

I wouldn't judge her buy it, the past is the past and as long as she's 100% with you, I don't see the problem. Especially 2 times

[Asker]

I see a problem and the past is the past is just another way to say that nothing has consequences.

[MiamiMadness]

Then why are you asking? You answered your own question

[Winter444]

You're being real judgmental about someone that you're supposed to care for. That's pretty low. If you're not attracted to her over something that silly that happened in the past, then let her find someone that will like & accept her for her.

[jacquesvol]

If it happened before you were boyfriend and girlfriend and if she has no STD or baby from it, I see no problem: the past is the past.
Retrospective jealousy will only make you unhappy (zand her too)

[jacquesvol]

*and (typo)

[Asker]

The past is the past= you can do whatever the shit you want to do cause actions have no consequences. Have i translated it right?

[jacquesvol]

Actions without consequences aren't important enough to justify regrets or retrospective jealousy. THink about the guys you kissed before you met him.

[gGreat]

End it, based on how much it bothers you. But realistically, I would dig up on people's past. The standards of exclusivity are getting lowered every day.
I am not berating you point of view about sex, I used to be like that. But you have to adapt to reality else accept the consequences of your choice, which could mean not dating or settling for someone you are not physically attracted to.
Fact of life.

[gGreat]

Correction: I wouldn't dig up on people's past.

[otherdad]

That’s not that bad, people fuck, they always will. That’s just your view on it, and you’re allowed to have whatever view you’d like, if it’s something you can’t let go then I’d say let go, even though it would be tough to find a woman that hasn’t or doesn’t lust for certain people. It all depends on the situation and the person, some people want sex but, have no time for a serious relationship.

[Inglourious]

It must be trolling :D I dont believe what you write :D

[Asker]

What exactly?

[Inglourious]

If you would stop after: "I should bo matter" then is it normal question in every realtionship... but that sweet and naive thing down looks like you dont live on earth :D

[Juxtapose]

Ah great, another puritan. Is the 1800's or what?

[Asker]

Oh i call it a conservative attitude towards sex.

[Juxtapose]

You have to understand that the conservative stance on sex is based on treating women as property valued on their "sexual purity." Conservatives are afraid of the human body, completely without reason, and demonize sex outside of marriage while promoting violence freely. It's a very strange, irrational, alien stance on something quite harmless.

[Asker]

My girlfriend had 5bfs before me with whom she had sex, if i would be a puritan then i wouldn't be with here alone because of this 5.

[Juxtapose]

It's still based off the same sexist view that women are somehow worth less because they've had dicks in them. I'm a guy, I've had a dick in me, out my dick in women and it hasn't changed my worth at all.

[Juxtapose]

*put, not out

[Asker]

Nope its not, you are just too stupid to see the difference

[Juxtapose]

Ok.. then tell me *exactly* how you think a woman changes if she's had 1000 dicks of total strangers in her (with protection)?

[cupkek]

Ok so what about the men that got her to trust her to have sex, it takes two to tango so... men aren't any better at being sexshit.

[red_knight]

Be a man about it. You've done stuff maybe,
Why would it be okay Jacuzzi shit buy not if our women do the same?

Many times it just shows an image of what you really feel for her, you have 2 options friend, 1) accept and move on.
2) live in denial and dump her ass.

[ronaldo75]

Then leave her. It's natural and you're not wrong for feeling this way. You can't change her past and if you want someone with a cleaner past then no one can stop you. Don't shame yourself into staying with her

[Perrete]

Because she is not you. Make uo your mind

[climbatize]

You're 25-29. Assuming you date your own age range, 2x is nothing. Adjust expectations, be really selective about huge prudes or unattractive girls, try to stay ignorant, or prepare for celibacy.

[Anonymous]

Leave her ASAP! You should've known when you met her.