Guys, My girlfriend says she is a bratty submissive?

So my girlfriend is into being dominated. She likes to fight back and wants me to over power her. I'm trying for her, but I feel like I'm not doing good enough. Any advice from guys out there that know how to handle a bratty submissive?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sometimes submissives imagine that the dominant should just know what to do, but that's unrealistic. Happy D/S relationships grow from a lot of discussion. Ask her to tell you what she imagines. I expect it goes sort of like this: she does something "bratty", you promise her punishment, she resists but eventually you overpower her and administer the promised discipline. That's an outline but if you are going to play your part you need to know what sorts of punishments you are going to give. And unless you are much larger and stronger, she cannot resist too much. People can be hurt play fighting.

    There is a checklists on alt. com. She should fill it out and give it to you so you know what she is into. For example, does the idea of being spanked by hand turn her on? What about other traditional instruments like paddles, a hairbrush, wooden spoon, leather strap (or belt), a cane?

    What about other traditional corporal punishment like mouth soaping, corner time, figging, etc?

    This can be great fun for both of you, and a part of a very happy relationship, but you have to talk about it. Since she's the submissive, she mostly has to tell you what she wants. Good luck.

  • Blindfold, gag and tie wrists and ankles with neck ties.

    If she just wants to struggle then you just need to use enough strength to win.

    What people don't understand is domination is mostly psychological. As much as you two are "struggling" what she really wants is for you to have the psychological attitude that you are taking from her what she doesn't want to give. Your aren't being nice or considerate or thoughtful, you are being selfish in what you want and need from her.

    People in the extremes of BDSM do the craziest shit, but they have the most respect for their partners, it has to be that way. The best psychological domination SEEMS real, but their partner knows deep down they can trust them and they would never truly hurt them on purpose.

    You want to be better for your lover? Make her believe you are mentally the "predator" she wants.

    • Agreed on the psychological component though I might add that you also need to find out how far she wants this to go. Does she want to keep this to bedroom games (lady in streets freak on the sheets style)? Does she want this to extend into your personal/public life (full time sub/pain jockey) need to know the answer to these questions. While some of this stuff can be done by anyone more or less, some more advanced mental and physical techniques you might not be ok with considering you asked this question to begin with.

    • To clarify what you need are very strict and well understood boundaries. Some safewords and safety actions are also important. Kinda hard to say a safe work when gaged as an example.

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What Guys Said

(8)
  • Establish a safe word, then do whatever you want to her, even if she tells you to stop. If she says the safe word though, actually stop.

  • She should tell you exactly what she wants you to do.

  • if you need to ask then really this is not for you... maybe just be honest and tell her its not your thing

  • Restraints.

  • Handcuff her, strap her down with a belt and use whatever you can to tie her down. Slap her around, face (lightly) ass (hard if she can handle it) gag her mouth with her own panties or put your fingers in her mouth while you fuck her. Throw her around and fuck her in any position you want while calling her a whore and spanking her. Use every hole (If anal is okay) Every once in awhile switch between a deep throat bj and fucking her hard in the pussy and ass. Use her long hair to wrap around your fist and pull on it hard when you are fucking her or having her give you head. Just use porn for reference if you need anymore advise.

  • Surprise buttsecks

  • She needs tied up and use handcuffs on her and gag her bratty mouth and blind fold her then give her a good spanking then whip her you are the dom guy she is the submissive girl get a collar and lead and some pvc clothing get her to wear it and use a password she needs to be tied down

  • Get safewords. Even if she doesn’t need them you do.

    One meaning “this is okay but no rougher”. And a different one meaning stop.

    Then push till first if you’re okay with it.