My husband can't impregnant me (the news destroyed him)... is life unfair sometimes?

[SarahS98]

I feel life isn't fair sometimes. Meanwhile all my exams came out good and I'm fertile, the same can't be said for my husband's. He has tested his sperm count 3 times, it's at zero count and so an appointment was set up with a urologist a while back.

Update: It's nothing but bad news after bad news. The reason he has no sperm count is because he has the condition called CBAVD. It's a bilateral absence of the vas deferens. Supposedly all he would've needed is medical intervention to transfer his sperm and get me pregnant... well yes but there is yet another bad news.

Besides the fact that it's expensive, invasive and we're not rich (I can help out though), his condition is caused by a mutation of a gene and there is a higher chance of our child having cystic fibrosis. So on top of him not being able to impregant me unless through surgery, our child won't be healthy. Once all this was explained, my husband remained silent for several moment, till he said ''I'm sorry SarahS98''. I could tell he was trying hard not to cry.

I'm going to take a break from this site. At this moment we feel as if our world has been shattered. Thousands of people can have kids without issues, all except us. My husband has been distant ever since receiving that news. Is life unfair sometimes?

[exitseven]

Sarah, sorry about the bad news. It must be crushing the two of you. I hope that you both stick together and try and support each other.

[SarahS98]

I'm comforting him as best as I can. He needs my support and I've told him it's ok to cry and grieve if he wants to. Once we get through this devastating news, we'll start to think of our other options towards having a family.

[exitseven]

Hang tough.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[Mansearching]

Life is unfair. I hope things some how work out. As in staying together. Look at the good things you have and enjoy each other.

[SarahS98]

I took my vows serious and nothing is changing. I've always wanted the old-fashioned love, the real meaning of what real commitment was all about, be there during the good and bad times till old age. I've always felt like I could've been born in the 50's or 60's due to this conservative mentality. I believe this was a life test for us. At some point we'll think of our other options, of whether it'll be through a sperm donor or adoption. We both really wanted to form a family.

[Mansearching]

Good for you. First time in long time since I've heard that. Different words but same meaning. Very glad to hear. Of course take your time on the other. Those are very big decisions. A lot of time and discussion. Prayer snd counseling with minister. Much respect.

[kuffs]

That sucks. I am sorry. So many people have kids that don’t deserve them and so many more want and deserve kids and can’t get them.
Bright side. You don’t have to worry about birth control. You can always adopt. Lots of unwanted kids that need homes desperately.

[SarahS98]

Yes I see that happening all the time too. Abandoned and abused kids come from those that breed like crazy, like there is no tomorrow meanwhile my husband's dream got destroyed. We'll going to get through this together and seek other options towards forming a family once get we over this initial sadness.

[kuffs]

I hope it all works out.

[bowenw]

It's not his fault so he should try not to feel bad. Life can be unfair. It's just the luck of the draw sometimes. I hope if you take a break from this site, it won't be for too long.

[Alexz0]

Sorry to hear.

[Danny_dan92]

Yes, it is

[TheSpaceGnome]

Life is very unfair sometimes. I'd love to have a woman who can't get pregnant, but every woman like that I've met, is married and wants kids, which to me feels unfair, why can't I find one? Why are only the people who want kids the ones who are naturally sterile?

[SarahS98]

I can get pregnant. It's my husband that can't ever naturally father a child. Then even if surgery is performed, that still doesn't guarantee the 1st attempt will succeed. Then even if the surgery (which is expensive) is successful and I get pregnant on the 1st attempt, there is still a higher chance our child can have health issues because of his mutated gene. Together we're going to find a way through this. yeah people that don't deserve kids breed like crazy, meanwhile my husband who always a child can't... yes unfair

[magiusX26]

life is almost always unfair. if it wasn't then most people would not struggle to get a relationship. minorities would not be racially profiled. chipdren would not be trafficed. socialzeconomic backround would not factor into careers because talent would be enough. children would not be born to unfit parents. children would not be born with birth defects. money/wealth would not be as much of struggle for the majority. powertpolitics would not hold the sway it does. horrible criminals would not walk free. people would not be starving all over the world. most people would have their needs met.

[tfan1]

*gives you a hug*. I’m so sorry 😞

[Sparkie460]

I'm so sorry about your news. It is so unfair. Guys who can impregnate, just abandon their partner and children and go on with life, yet People who want kids can't have them.

Stay strong. You'll figure out someway to have children.

[SarahS98]

Thank you. We'll eventually find a way through this.

[Sparkie460]

You're welcome. Good luck to both of you

[gothbxtch]

life is unfair sometimes, i know. i’m so sorry. could you look into a sperm donor or adoption, maybe?

[SarahS98]

Once we get over the initial shock, we'll consider those options. At this moment I'm trying to comfort him as best I could. At this moment, for him it's similar to grieving for a loss. He feels horrible about himself. He feels as if he failed me but it's not his fault. He's at the grieving stage at this moment.

[DerekC321]

You could always get a sperm donor? Plenty of people do that.

[SarahS98]

I know and it's true. Once we get over this recent devastating news, we start opting for it. He's so crushed at the reality of not being able to father his own offspring, at being denied something so simple many men can do. He feels terrible about himself.

[DerekC321]

Not his fault. I understand his pain, though.

[Guido]

So very sorry to hear your bad news. Life is not fair and you certainly have your share of misfortune. It will definitely take some adjustment time for you and your husband.

The good news is there are still ways to have a family. It will take a lot of strength to get through this together before you can move on. Hope all works out for you.

[SarahS98]

Thank you for the kind words. Yes we'll get through this together and seek for other options.

[Jmmmfi4]

Usually is