Is his sex drive just naturally low? He might feel fine just being mostly not-sexual.
How much stress is in your lives? Stress can inhibit sexual desires.
Is he on medication for anything? Medication can inhibit sexual desire or function.
Even if not stressed, how busy are you both? Long work days, a lot of running, chores, obligations? That can decrease energy for sex.
How does he look? If he has let himself go, he might not feel confident or comfortable being sexual.
Now for the most difficult point to ask about politely: How do you look? Have you let yourself go? Is there a chance that he loves you just as much... but doesn't feel attracted?
This sounds harsh, but if you are willing to wonder if he could be unfaithful (something I am not saying couldn't happen. That COULD be the case) it is only fair to ask if there is just a lack of attraction.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I think you shouldn't be worried but some mild concern is appropriate. As for him cheating, I have no idea but I think it wise to give him the benefit of the doubt for now.
You clearly need to get him to engage in a conversation as difficult as that may be. Here're some tips on doing that:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex
Don't get frustrated. Just don't let him off the hook. Calm, direct, and matter of fact is the best way. Think back to someone, maybe a manager, in your past that was so good at talking about difficult topics. I bet that person was calm, direct, and matter of fact but not angry, mad or otherwise emotional. Channel that person.
If he still won't talk to you, find a good couple's therapist and get him to go with you. He'll resist but you need to persevere.
Once a month or less is basically a sexless marriage. There are issues, but what they are, you will need to be very open and communicate to find out the underlying cause. Is he cheating? Probably not, typically when men or women are cheating, they over accentuate with their spouse ( talk more, try to have sex more etc,) they typically won't withdraw. Not all the time, but most... Most men don't like dealing with emotional conversations, but if you ask him to fix the lawnmower, he would jump to it. So my opinion, approach the subject like a project that needs done, have much open communication. Define the problem, and step by step together fix it! Best of Luck
Thanks for the mho
hmm do you make sure you smell nice , dressed up nicely and having some make up on? guys are visual creatures.
Have you argued or keep complaining lately about yhings that would put him off.
Have you tried to initiate sex with him? if not try it and if he rejected then when he wants sex just turn him down to make him feel that you aren't at his service whenever he feels like it.
but the best way is to talk about it if he's up for that.
Yes, I see a Sure Sign of a Red Flag.
He may have a Low T-Count, which Needs to be Addressed by Doctor with A... Check-up.
Make an Appointment and Tell him to at Least try. And if Isn't this, there is More in Store that you Need to get to the Bare Bottom Barrel with Here, dear.
Good luck. xx
Would pretty much agree with all that.
@HaveNoName one never knows. xx
@Paris13 True. But you covered quite a few things step by step. If none of them work out, more possibilities could be determined.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you've gained weight. Am I right? Be honest.
Uh. Like 15 pounds
Disclaimer: None of this is intended to be mean. This is just an honest answer. From a study on underestimation of weight (feel free to google): "The Irish researchers found that [...] both overweight and obese women underestimate their weight." In your post you more or less asked why sex wasn't happening, but then alluded to reasons why it is his fault. Take a look at yourself - a real, hard, honest look. Step on a scale and compare your current facebook pictures to before you were comfortable in the relationship. If you were an "8" when the two of you got married, but you gained "15 pounds" (my guess is that it is way more than that), and now you're a "4", sex is probably going to be much less frequent. This happens a lot, it's not just you. Many women only take their physical fitness seriously when they are "on the market", but once they have a man, don't feel like they should have to anymore. If I was your husband, I might honestly have buyer's remorse.
No I've literally gained 15 pounds. I have to watch my weight because I'm diabetic.
Depends on what's going on in your lives, are you working? Studying? Caring for family? Have a family yourselves? Without knowing much all I could say is that he might be yeah, or he could be stressed or find sex with you boring and not interesting.
Nope not cheating as much as losing interest. Did you by any chance put on weight? (common post-marriage).
Yeah like 15 pounds
Well if the word "cheating" is not being thrown around either by you or by him, then there's no cheating going on. Cheaters tend to project a lot. I. e. they will get paranoid of their SO cheating, wonder where their SO is... etc. Pretty easy to spot. I'd be more worried about the typical reason men don't want to marry: women (unfortunately) start putting on weight, sex diminishes, both partners stop putting effort in... that's what I think is going on here.
Do you think if I lost the extra 15 pounds it would help? Did my hair, started wearing makeup again?
Yes you should be worried! There is a possibility that he has lost interest in you and that someone else is taking his attention. Talk to him, even if he doesn't want to talk about it. Look at his body posture and try to get close to him. If he backs away or does something else other than give you the same love back then his mind is somewhere else and not focused on you.
Cheating? Probably not. But he's definitely lost interest in you. Whether that's because the spark is gone or because he has some medical or emotional problem, couldn't tell you.
not necessarily cheating but you need to highlight how sweious the situation is to you
and if he still doesn t confine to you then I don t think the rl is going forward
How old is he? Is he stressed? Overworked? Depressed? Under medication?
See a therapist/priest. They should be able to help you.
no not cheating but he's lost interest in you
think about why
@Anonymous no i don't believe your husband is cheating it could be he has a low - sex drive. Or he worry about something and don't want to worry you. Talk to him ask him why he doesn't want to have sex anymore. Go seek help together. I'm sorry your going through this.
Spice it up, being a women to bed, that will jump him up.
This is very common in Marriage and to start off you shouldn't be worried for it could be a multitude of reasons. Often time as men we don't like to discuss issues that are intimate because it makes us feel vulnerable. Now with that being said it is common for sex to decline in marriage it could be he feels that it s become to routine or he is having sexual trouble or quite possibly he may feel that it is more work for him depending on how you do engage with foreplay or not. But my main suggestion that may help is give him suggestive hints in his sleep but dont come outright let him think its his idea and that may spark the sex up 10 fold because one thing is for certain when it comes to sex if a man wants it he will find a way to admit that he was thinking about it the whole time.
I wouldn't jump to conclusions right away that he's cheating but yes I would be concerned. How old is he? If he's around your age a man that young from my experience plowed more tail than a cornfield. Why did you two marry so early? Do you have children?
cheating or simply low sex drive or prostat problem.
It was only once a week to begin with and you guys are pretty young so he seems to of lost interest
I would be worried. I don't know if he's cheating or not, but he's definitely lost interest in you sexually for some reason. That's usually a sign there are failures in other areas of the relationship. I wouldn't ignore this.
He is either cheating or is a gay. I can fuck you if you like baby
Possibly! I think you need to find out. Does he have the opportunity to cheat?
You should be really worried.
I would actually NOT guess cheating. He could still fuck you weekly or more and cheat. No, I'd guess he either has a low sex drive or some sexual dysfunction that makes him avoid it.
And he doesn't want to talk about it, he just wants it to go away.
Kids?
How long ago did things drop off?
He isn't really into sex probably
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