My husband wants me to get more aggressive in bed... But I'm still that shy girl who doesn't really know what to do with sexually being aggressive?

Question

He asked for more aggressive behavior in bed but I can't figure what to do to him to make it more aggressive.. Pls suggestions ideas anything...

gray_sailor · Accepted Answer

It's great that GAG exists as a resource for people to ask questions. Sometimes I wonder if the ability to anonymously ask a bunch of strangers what your husband really wants in bed isn't just a distraction from the obvious solution:

Talk to your husband. He is the one who knows what it is he wants. As a matter of fact, he is the only one who knows what he wants.

As lovely as it may seem to have someone who can read minds and always do just the right thing, the real joy in a successful marriage is that you have a partner that is devoted to helping thing work out. When it comes to sexual matters, I can approach my wife and discuss ANYTHING with her. That does not mean she agrees to everything, just that there is always open, non-judgemental communication between us.

Your husband has asked for you to take a more sexually aggressive role. That is great. However, since I don't know your husband, I have no idea what he is asking for.

Possible examples of sexual aggressiveness:
-- stripping him naked and leading him to a shower you take together.
-- having sex using one of the woman on top positions
-- performing a strip tease for him
-- dripping melted candle wax on his nipples
-- buying a strap on dildo and pegging him

Seriously, being more sexually aggressive is such a vague term that I have no way of knowing what it is he wants.

My suggestion to you is this: schedule a sit down talk with your husband. Prior to this sit down, have him do a little homework to flesh out what it is he wants. Give him a sheet of paper that says a few things on it like this:

"My little fantasy for my wife."

Describe the setting _________________
Location__________________________
Time of day_______________________
List specific items we need __________
Will there be roleplay_________________
If so, describe the scene___________
Describe in detail what you want______
______________________________________

Then have your meeting with him.
You can fill out a sheet too.

Good luck.

Red_Arrow · Accepted Answer

I imagine you have learned a lot of things from him since you got married. Plus you can read. If you take those things and take control of selecting what would feel good to you at the moment, you have taken the first step to being more aggressive in bed. Start there.

bijinbijinbijin · Accepted Answer

you can get suggestions from  p*rn . Most guys want their girls to behave like the ones they see in the pornos (becasue  p*rn  gives men false expectations) but girls dont understand because girls do not ususally look at that type of stuff. So just give a  p*rno  a little peek so you can see how thoes girls behave.