My sister's boyfriend almost having sex with me?

[Anonymous]

I have apartment with my older sister and last night about 3 am I woke up with my sister' boyfriend in my bed on top of me having sex with me. I woke up scared then knew who it was I yelled stop but he said just let him finish. After a few seconds I got to turn on the light and then he saw it was me and not my sister. He was really wasted and then stopped and said sorry and went to my sisters room. He never did anything like this before and been so nice to me. Should I say anything to my sister or just drop it since he did stop after he saw me. I think he was just faded and thought he was in my sister's room.

[Anonymous]

Definitely say something to your sister. I think it would be wise to ban him from the apartment. I don’t see how you could feel safe with him around you after that.

Legally this meets the definition of rape. I’m not going to make any suggestion for or against pressing charges because this is such an unusual and complicated situation. But you can’t just ignore it. Something must be done to prevent it from happening again. You should not have to worry about someone violating you in your own home. If your sister is smart she will break up with him. Even if you were removed from the equation, who knows what he might do to your sister next time he gets drunk. He doesn’t seem to respect the word “stop”. But if she doesn’t see things that way, she should at least promise to never allow him in the apartment again.

[Red_Arrow]

Your question says he "almost" had sex with you, and the description said he did have sex with you. Sounds like a made up tale that you cannot keep straight.

[Jaye234]

No offense but I've seen this post before. It's been several months ago but damn near the same wording.
I gave the advice of telling your sister in which you updated the post to say the sister took his side and so did your mom.

Maybe you are a different user? If so I give the same advice and that is: tell your sister as she needs to know. Lock your door at night.

[AlisonCrystal]

Tell her!!! He raped you and think about it... you were asleep so he could've done the same thing with your sister.

[levantine99]

that soudns like a horror movie. how comes your sister dates such a loser? and why the f have him in your house?

[levantine99]

what if you were virgin and he took your virginity like that? would you be that cool?

[bluntmonkey420]

Like everyone is saying it's rape and needs to be taken seriously even if he was faded. It's not an excuse.

[OlderAndWiser]

Don't tell her and it becomes something that you wanted and then tried to hide.

Are you really so naive to think he just made a mistake?

[Cammy137]

Having sex with you? So he penetrated you without you realising? This sounds like BS but if its true, tell your sister.

[kitjo]

I agree with Travis123. It was an honest, drunken mistake and no real harm done. One day, YOU might do something stupid but not ill-intended when you're drunk and you'll expect a bit of leeway won't you?

[andreasderjuengere]

And you believe that it is quite normal to confuse one room with another one. In your own home. Yes. Of course. So don't be surprised to find a car in the bathroom one day. "Oh. I really thought, it was the garage..."

[Meninist]

That’s rape and you need to tell her.

[Meninist]

If he’s gonna be like that to you whilst drunk who knows what else he’ll do.

[DominicJohn]

No. You need to tell her and start locking your room door.

[TacosRAwesome]

If he was alive enough to have sex, he should have been alive enough to notice he's in the wrong room.

[Red_Arrow]

And in the wrong girl.

[TacosRAwesome]

@Red_Arrow actually more that than the room.

[Greaver]

If it’s not consensual it’s rape if he says he didn’t “know it was you” he’s just making an excuse so he could fuck you

[LegateLanius]

Tell her

[ryancg]

How drunk does someone have to be to make that kind of a mistake? I mean, I've gotten pretty damn wasted before but never been so out of my mind that I mistook one person for another, especially when that person is someone I know so well. Maybe it's just me, but it sounds kind of fishy. Definitely, talk to your sister about it.

[lostliam34]

You should talk to your sister. Its assault and rape even if he stopped and didn't realize its you.

[Dinnye001]

I would make a deal out of this.

This is a legit case of attempted rape, so..

[HaveNoName]

You have to tell BOTH of them. That is unacceptable.

[Naydyonov]

Should have stayed sober

[BoyCrazyLOL14]

SAY SOMETHING!!!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

The dude was just mad drunk and confused you for his girlfriend.

As far as if you should say something to your sister, that's up to you decide.

Just know your sister can react very ugly even though it might have been an accident on his part.

[Anonymus2017]

Call the police, what he did was rape you in your sleep.

Now put aside that it's you and it's your sisters boyfriend.

What he still did, was rape.

[Nachowedgie]

It's a fake question, this exact question was up 2 weeks ago, it's a copy and paste

[cancan73]

I don't believe that for a second, that's rape

[Travis123]

If you’re not hurt mentally or physically from the incident, I’d let it go. No need to completely ruin your sisters boyfriend life because he was intoxicated and mistook you for your sister. Shit happens, if he pulled out after he realized it was you and left he probably feels like a complete idiot and what els do you want to come out of the situation?

[kitjo]

Agreed

[Krumpir]

Disagree. That is rape, you know? A person sleeping is not able to say no.

[kitjo]

It's not rape because he had a reasonable belief in consent.

[Krumpir]

@kitjo Welcome to lawyering 101. So if I believe in consent I can have sex with half of the world and it wouldn't be rape.

[kitjo]

Yes. If you have a REASONABLE belief in consent, the burden of proof is on the prosecution to prove beyond reasonable doubt that you did NOT have that belief. Which, if you support the presumption of innocence, I think you'll agree is as it should be.

[Krumpir]

@kitjo yeah... That makes no sense. Go ask any normal person if starting sex with someone who is sleeping is rape...

[kitjo]

That's what the law is, whether you understand it or not. Or whether you like it or not.

[Krumpir]

@kitjo you know what people do with lawyers like you? Specially about the rape? Kill them.

[kitjo]

How fortunate that we have laws against murdering people too.

[Krumpir]

@kitjo Hey, some people never get caught.

[kitjo]

Still struggling with that innocent until proven guilty idea, aren't you...

[Krumpir]

@kitjo Nope. If that story is true, what he did is a rape. He is not innocent. He is guilty.

[kitjo]

And... Still not grasping this simple concept of the presumption of innocence. And willfully ignoring the law about reasonable belief in consent. Please, never serve on a jury.

[Krumpir]

@kitjo Do this one day to my daughter and Judge says you are innocent, I will personaly come to cut your balls and feed you with them. I don't know where you live, but what he did is a rape. Person asleep did not agree to sex. It can't be simpler than that.

[kitjo]

You can try, of course. It would be unwise though, and wouldn't go well for you.

[Krumpir]

@kitjo You know what... I will actually ask lawyer about this. I am 99.9% sure that is rape. Mhm... Or I could just kill you. Wouldn't be the first one.

[kitjo]

Yes I'm sure you're very tough sitting behind your keyboard. Try it in real life and see how you get on. Contact me privately if you really want to come to my home and try to kill me.

[Krumpir]

@kitjo I won't. You still haven't raped somebody I care about. I am seeing lawyer tomorrow. I will keep you in touch.