My SO is upset that I got a dildo. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

My SO works a stressful job, long hours, & weekends. He often comes home upset and not in the mood. Today he texted me asking me to stay up late so he could vent when he got home, so I knew based on that text that he wasn’t going to be in the mood (like many days) I was especially horny so I decided that I was going to order myself a dildo.

when he got home, I did everything I could to make him happy but before we went to bed I told him about the purchase and let him know that intimacy with him is still my top priority, but it doesn’t happen to often and he’s usually not home. He be some so upset with me that he became overly critical.

to give a little background, i have a successful career, we have a great kid (good grades, well mannered), I spend most of my weekend cleaning and running errands, and the only thing I really do for myself is go to the gym 3-4 times a week.

what should I do?

[DumBear]

So. I dont want to say i can assire you, but... i can. assure you he masturbates without your knowledge or consent. In no way shape or form are you cheating on him physically or emotionally, in fact this toy is a way yo prevent that from happening while he nehlects and fails yo take care of you. I get it doesn't need to alwaus happen but no reason for him to be insecure ocer this, which is exactly whats going on. He's feeling insecure.

I would suggest talking to him again and explaining its simply a fun and easier way for you to masturbate, that youve been feeling neglected due to work stress from him, and that you already masturbate (if true) without the toy and want to have one so its easier.
I would incorporate him with the toy if possible and let him use it on you for fun, instead of him resenting it. Toys are tools to assist with sex. Can be GREAT for foreplay.

[God_of_Thunder]

You shouldn't need to do anything. This is his problem, and he needs to get over it. You've done nothing wrong.

He's obviously not taking care of your needs, and your other option would beto cheat on him, which you have obviously decided not to do.

If anything, just try to explain to him that it's not a replacement for him, but a supplement. A way for you to take care of yourself, while thinking of him.

[Rob70]

Share your dildo with him. By that I mean let him see you playing with it and maybe let him use it on you. My SO and I enjoy some toy play and it takes the pressure to perform off of him. Toys can be a great addition to the bedroom.

[slatyb]

He's being quite unreasonable. It's only a problem if you're are refusing sex with him, but it sounds like you are not getting enough. What's his problem with it?

[qwert1234]

I'll echo what the other dudes say. He needs to grow up.
You can explain your situation on him. You can also say that he is your priority and will only be using it once he's away for a long time. Or he could use it to you as part of the foreplay.

[Browneye57]

I guess you continue to be completely focused on yourself. You could always ask him to leave.
So, you actually found a fucktard willing to pitch in1 raising someone else's crotch-fruit?

[Andres77]

Use it as often as you want.
If he's not taking care of business then you should.

[okeydoke]

He needs to grow up. Self pleasure is your right as a human.

[TallAnon]

Tell him to get over it, lol

[Pterodon]

He’s being selfish. Use it and enjoy

[Paul09]

I'm so sorry but your man is acting like a child. He is most likely insecure. And it's your body, you do what you want with it. Toys are a added bonus and could be used during wild sex. What a fool! He has zero reason to be angry, but about himself.

[CubaPirate]

WTF is wrong with him sex toys enhance sexual relationships not threaten them

[Anonymous]

Ask him if he'd rather you hire a male hooker for the times he's working long hours.