Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I have a few things I want to address in this take, but first we'll start with my story. I was bullied in middle school for all three of the years, it was a Catholic school and you're with the same kids all the time. So, every year it was just the same thing from the same people. When I started at this school there were only two girls in the class, the rest were boys. One of those boys I actually knew from a previous school we both attended, he even said we were friends. That turned out to be a lie, because he was one of the people to bully me. It was basically the entire class, expect for a quiet kid and two other kids they also picked on. I know my bullying was mild in comparsion to other peoples experiences, but it still was enough to shape who I'd turn out be and am working really hard to change. Bullying or any tramatic event, effects a person more then people realize.
Here's some of the verbal and physical ways they bullied me or tried to.
Verbally
- They called me names
- Did and said things deliberately, just so they could laugh at me
- Made fun of the way I looked and how I dressed (even though we had uniforms and all looked the same) They basically just made of fun of my entire appearance.
- Told me "no one will ever want to date me " and one boy even went as far to tell me "I'll be raped one day in my life"
- Made fun of my parents and other family members
Physically
- Hit me over the head with a hard cover text book ( a so- called friend of mine did this to make the boys in the back row laugh)
- Punched me in the arm, to see how strong I was
- Took a piece of mental and slid it down my arm to see how sharp it was
- Tried to stick my head in a garbage bag, after I refused to do it on my own for a dollar (that's one of the few times I told, but that was then I learned money speaks volume's. Because, the teach told me "They would never do that, their parents pay good money to the school")
They did and said a lot to me in those three years, that's only a basic summary of what I encountered on a daily bases. I was between the ages of 12-14 when all that happened and I'm 27 going on 28 now, I'm still trying to work through all that. I've heard all my life to just "get over it" or "it doesn't matter", but to me it does matter because it turned me into someone I never wanted to be. It's also not that simple for me to get over, because I have all those words and things to deal with and then I have all the other negative things people have said to me after that (that includes family). So, it's just negativity on top of negatvity with no real consistant positivity to over ride all that. I try to take people's advice and be happy, but everytime I try to the other shoe drops and it gets taken from me. I've become a very distrusting, cynical and pessimistic person, due to my life experiences and it's something I'd like to change. I'm no where in my life I'd like to be and still have things I haven't experienced, which I'm also trying to change. I don't often, but sometimes I wonder what I'd be like now or how my life would be now, had I not gone though that. I suppose it does really matter.
I want to move past this but it's hard and one of the things that makes it hard is people not validating how I feel and acting like I don't have a right to be upset by what happened to me or that what happened to me doesn't actually matter.Which brings me to the other thing I want to mention in this take. When someone goes through something in their life, that they never asked to have happen to them. They don't want pitty or to be treated different, but they do want and need support and validation for how they feel. That it's okay to cry, to be angry, to be changed by it, to be hurt, to be scared, to have fears. That all that they think and feel is a natural reaction to a tramatic experience, but that in time they will heal and get better.
What they don't need is people making light of the situation and making comments and acting like they're being a big whiny baby and have no right to be upset. All I've ever wanted was people to support me. To believe in me and encourage me to move past this, to let me know that they know I can. To tell me "it's okay, I'm sorry you had to go through that". That's not what I got though, I have a few people on my side. Most people though just "tell me to get over it" and act like I'll never work past this. That's not helpful, that's harmful. Because, when you already feel bad about yourself and the things you've gone though. That just makes you feel worse and very isolated from the rest of the world, like no one will ever understand how you feel or even worse, that no one really cares. I say that from personal experience I feel those two things a lot.
I'm writing this because, I want people to understand how bad bullying can be and how it can effect a person and the way they view themselves or how any tramatic event can have lasting inpact on a person and their life. I want them to understand, that making light of it will not help or motivate the person but instead do the opposite.
I also want the people who have been bullied, are being bullied, have gone through something and or are going through something to understand that, they're not alone. There are people who understand. It might be difficult now, but it will get better. It will always be apart of your past but it doesn't have to define you or your life. Not, if don't let it. I did and I'm still paying for it and trying very hard to change it.
I hope my story is somehow helpful to someone and that this take shows people that validation and compassion go along way with someone who's gone through or is going through something.
What Girls & Guys Said
13 25Beautiful text. I was nodding while I was reading. People just don't get it, we just want someone to be there listening to us and telling us that there's nothing wrong with us, not someone who tells that we have to get over it.
Guess what? WE CAN'T.
People just don't know how worthless can you feel when no one helps you and someone is all day long making fun of you. They don't know how strong you are.
I'm still trying to talk people without being scared, Being able to understand that not everyone is trying to hurt you even thought they sometimes say dumb shit.
What I enjoy most about my life... Not being scared every day of my life. It's just a good feeling. Being able to talk people and they are not running away from you.
I wish I could find someone on my life that has suffered everything that I've gone through. I need to talk with someone who truly understands me.
I know how you feel.
Bully's are cowards. It's true. First few months at high school I got a guy bullied me because he liked the girl I worked hard to get. He got her and enough was enough. I offered him a fair fight after school. He turned up but didn't want to fight. I kicked his head in anyway. If someone steps on your toes jump on their back and snap their fucking neck. It's all about respect. It's gotta be taken by force
That's sounds like something my dad would say lol.
Sounds like a wise man lol
Haha, yeah.
Agree totally... ironically bullies often respect you after giving them some " Corrective Training "
I was bullied a lot in grade school now a days I take great pleasure in dealing with them when and if they appear,
Sorry you went through that.
Ehh it was, what it was.
You sound like me lol, that's usually my motto.
Lol while those experiences shaped and changed me into who and what I am today, I don't really think back on them with hatred or anything. I mean it's in the past, I took the eye sight for quite a few years in the guy's left eye who did it to me so what's done is done.
Does it count if the bully is myself?
What do you mean?
I'm never really accepted or liked in social situations, so I tell myself that I'm not good enough to be likable
I'm not sure.
My question is why didn't you take a stand... I mean you have to in every other part of life. If you want a raise you step up and ask for one, if you want to start your own business you step up and make it happen...
Why didn't you stand up for yourself? What were you REALLY scared of?
Well, I'm shy and quiet so confrontation isn't really my thing. Plus, being that I am shy and stuff I always just keep to myself and couldn't really understand why they were picking on me because I never bothered them. Most important 1) the people that bullied me were mostly guys. 2) their parents were well off enough fincinally to give money to the school 3) they got straight A's. So, being a shy girl against a bunch of guys doesn't really give you an opportunity for a good ass kicking. I did pull away though when of the boys tried to stick my head in a garage bag, that was the one time I did tell. In which the teach took me in the hall and said "they would never do that their parents pay good money to the school". Which just made things worse for me after that. So, I also knew that having middle of the road income parents and me not being a straight A student, I knew no one would ever be on my side. So, I figured why bother.
You should have realized you are graced and stuck up for yourself. People can step in when things go to far. Although, if I witnesses simple harassment in my school days I would do nothing. It's up to you to get a spine and do something that you may not want to do.
So, you're saying it's my fault?
Yes. In a lot of ways yes I am. What happens is the people who raised you didn't help to fortify your spine. Look at things from a different perspective yourself. Did you do what you could have done? Or did you just get terrified and scared. Bullying can go too far. But in a lot of instances kids who are bullied have no back bone. I HAVE SEEN THIS PERSONALLY.
Not only are you blaming me for not kicking the ass of all the guys in my class that bullied me, now you're insulting my parents and telling me they raised me wrong? My parents raised me just fine. They didn't even know what happened to me in middle school until much later in my life.
Also, I'm an observant person and all those kids in my class got special treatment. They couldn't do a damn thing wrong if they tried, so I knew if I did tell no one would believe me. If I stood up for myself, I would have been the one to get in trouble, not them. I've never been in trouble in my life, so tell me why I risk a perfect school record for a bunch jack asses who could get away with whatever they wanted? What would be the point in that?
They would learn you are not the one. You were too worries about 'getting in trouble' Really? Over ending bullying that has gave you permanent grief... You should have done something.
whatever dude.
love you
Huh? That's an interesting response.
@loveisbeautiful Hi im sorry you went through that is horrible. I would like to talk to about bullying and being bullied if you let me.
Sure.
Thank you
Can I message you?
Yes, you can.
I can't it says you have to follow me?
Okay.
I don't agree with bullying at all, neither do I agree with this notion of turn the other cheek or violence does not solve anything or its always a verbal solution. people are mean, unfair, selfish and have a need to be superior. This never changes and dealing with people is part of life. I think parents need to encourage there kids to stand up for themselves and learn how to deal with people. After all people can only do to you what you allow them to. Learning how to stand up for yourself and deal with those types of people is what help you grow as a person.
Just my opinion. Sorry for your troubles. All you can do is move forward now
Thanks.
I find bullying to be a necessary evil.
It taught me how to stand up for myself...
but it put me on the edge of near suicide
I still hold it to his day, because of how bad it was. And I hate people who say "get over it" Those are usually the people that were bullies themselves.
Like you said, its just about finding comfort and support, that's all we want. It's about them saying "That sucks what you went through, but it's done now, it's over..." or something along those lines.
Bullying will never stop unfortunately, but I'm damn well sure if people really focused on this issue, it would decrease dramatically
I agree and sorry you went through that.
:) too kind
: ) thanks
Had to deal with bullying in secondary school , it does leave a permanent mark on you , turned me into a cynical & sometimes belligerent adult... the same people responsible would not dare try the same shit nowadays , they know ( and admit !! ) I would seriously hurt them. Both genders use both emotional & physical bullying equally , girls are often physically violent too , often worse than the boys.
Sorry you went through that.
Thanks for your supportive comment , on the plus side it has made me stronger , adversity forges strong people.
You're welcome and I suppose it does.
I got bullied too... But, as much as I hated the experience and want to strangle the people who did so, I know it acclimatised me to the harshness of adult life. I chose to turn my shame and fear into a source of strength. True, I have a very deformed personality because of it. By choosing not to wallow in self pity and despair, I chose to be my own harshest critic, thus holding myself to higher standards than I hold others
I understand how you feel and sorry you went through that.
You have written so beautifully nothing left to say anything more.
Thank you : )
people need to learn to stand up for themselves, what ever happened to fighting back. I was bulled in middle school but after a while I got tired of it and fought back, they never messed with me again after that
Because, sometimes it's not that simple and in some cases can make things worse. Every situation is different. I told one time and no one believed me, which made things worse for me.
I don't know why people tell their kids to tell a teacher if they are being bullied it never does anything, my parents always told me to stand up for myself, none off this whining to a teacher crap they try to teach kids today
By standing up for ones self I assume you mean violence, correct? I suppose that could work in some situations, but in cases such as verbal bullying I think that would be unwarranted. Not to mention, we live in a digital age. So, most people get it from all angles and you can't know who's doing and if you don't know, how can you stand up for yourself? Not mention, kids of all ages can be bullied. So, when your in the first grade and someone is mean to you. Obviously the best thing to do, is tell someone. What else would you have them do?
What ever happened to the phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" where did that mentality go?
Well, that mentality is a lie. Because, words hurts more then you know. physical scars heal, but emotional ones sometimes never do.
I'd rather have physical scars than emotional scars
I have been bullied for most of my Public School, and Early College Years. To this very day it still impacts my life, because it taunts me socially, and emotionally. Even though I have lots of friends I am socially awkward, and I don't trust people as often as other people do. What's funny is most of my former bullies, and other people realize why I can't live a normal life. Life is such a joke. :/.
I'm sorry.
It's alright. :).
Well, I'm still sorry anyway.
Aw. :).
Yeah : )
People suck. :/.
I agree.
Yeah. :).
I was also bullied all three years of middle school. & still I am changed because of it. I was sexually forced into many things by older boys, even some in high school. I was changing groups of friends & going through a rough time at home. I never felt like I had anyone to talk to. & it still affects me today. I was bullied by both boys & girls constantly & would come home from school crying, parents weren't home & so I would harm myself. I'm not gonna go into detail about everything that happened but it was bad. & you do have a right to be upset & feel how you want. Because I was sexually forced into things & people bullying me for it & thinking I was a hoe, changed me a lot. I was always getting into physical fights.
& now being in a relationship for 4 years, what has happened in my past has done some damages in my relationship. It's sad, I am afraid to be in town alone, I don't go shopping alone, anything. I make sure my boyfriend, dad or brother is with me. I'm now 19. I'm afraid that a guy will take advantage of me. & I still haven't forgiven most of the people.
All I've come to realization about is, everyone is judged, people are cruel & I'm better than every single one of them pathetic people that felt they had to put me down to make theirselves feel better.
It was hard work to get to where I am now & like I said, I still suffer from it. I think it takes a long time for you to get over something like that. It really is a big impact on someone's life. I've just been able to open up & realize what people I need in my life & it's made a big difference.
My boyfriend wasn't understanding at first, he was always like why would you feel that way about me when I never did anything but now he understands & is there to always help me. I got into counseling & found good friends.
I suggest if you haven't gone to counseling, you really should consider it.
I have tried therapy, it didn't really help much. I'm glad it help you though and I'm sorry you had to go through all that.
I got my share of bullying and now I'm stronger to defend myself... thanks for this
I definitely relate to yours story. 2014 was the worst year of my life because I was severely bullied. I was hit on the head too. I was at my locker and someone threw a lotion bottle a my head. It was kinda big but luckily it didn't hurt.
I'm sorry you went through that : (
Thanks. It has gotten better luckily
You're welcome and that's good.