Never had a boyfriend, feeling extreme loneliness?

I’ve been feeling really lonely lately. I’m 23 and never had a boyfriend nor much luck in any form of intimacy at all. Heck I’m still a virgin.

it’s just no one who has liked me had ever truly approached me to ask me out or on a date etc, it’s always just the basic “WYD?” stuff and never goes any further. I know people find me decently attractive but that’s as far as it goes as I don’t believe in hookup culture that’s just not me- I feel I have to genuinely know you first before I even want to be intimate with you.(not like anyone has initiated that anyways so). But People assume because of the way I dress, and have a decent amount of confidence, that I have a high body count. But I truly don’t. I crave it though. I want to have sex, I want a partner, but I also feel very blocked as I hate dating apps, I’ve never downloaded one nor do I plan on it. But I feel I’m just never meeting anyone and I’m going to truly grow up alone. The one guy I was kinda talking too who showed interested ghosted me so I genuinely have no one who even interacts with me in interest.

I’m just sad that I’m nearly in my mid 20s and genuinely never felt intimacy nor love. I didn’t get to have the fun childish teen romance and I’m scared I’m going to reach 30 and still never experience it. I know it’s not everything. But I’m so touch starved I just want to be loved you know. I don't know how to deal with being so alone.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Do you have any interests or hobbies? Joining groups around common interests can increase the odds of friendship and romance i. e., joining a hiking group, book club etc.

    In the pursuit of becoming Mrs. Right you'll find others with the similar goals on the same mission to better themselves. In that process you'll hopefully find Mr. Right.

    Where you are in the world can also effect your odds of finding a mate. So if possible consider a change in venue.

    I agree with you, hook-up culture has been the death of real intimacy and healthy marriages. Prostitution may be as old as human civilization, but hooking-up with everything that has 2 legs even at great distances has only became more easier thanks to technology. There are anonymous posting apps like whisper where you can meet people.

    Feel free to give me a follow and congrats on coming out as bi..

    P. S Yes I read the other comments

    • i say this to people all the time but they don't do it. if you are not in high school or college you have to be around lots of people a lot of the time, doing something together in common. that's the only way to build these kinds of friendships and more

    • Thank you. Yeah I’m part of a hiking group in my uni that does help meet new people but more so they’re just friends, have yet to meet anyone that could potentially be more than that in that group

    • Very cool So you are in college? What's your major? Are there any clubs or groups associated with your major? For example the Psychology Club

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  • Drop the term "hookup culture", it doesn't exist.
    It's been going on since the dawn of man and it's hie a lot of long term relationships start. It's how all of mine started actually.

    Sure, you might get used by a few guys, but so what. Eventually you'll find a guy who wants more than just sex. Probably sooner than you think

Most Helpful Girls

  • Course you do I did too when I was your age!

    Guys are so terrible it took me forever to find my amazing hubby!

    Honestly wait your doing amazing and you know you need that love before sex! Don't let someone or society force you into hook ups.

    If you feel bi try a girl or just be friends and see if you can be happy just hanging out.

    Wierdly having married as my status now draws the guys like flies usually the useless ones too!

    • Thank you! I do believe I’m Bi too. I’ve always felt attraction to woman as well, but even then I don’t think I express that well as I haven’t really explicitly come out that I’m also into girls so I think they don’t approach me in that way other than friendship. But who knows!!

    • Who knows that is great that you know your bi! Congrats I never figured it out for me till latter! Gave your question a like. Send me a follow if you want and I'll follow back. You sound like such a smart wonderful woman. So think that your even prettier then you let on. Has any one just asked if your gay cause they never see you with any one? My mom asked that outright one night so embarrassed.

    • That’s really sweet thank you. No one one has ever asked me, they just assume I’m straight. Or if they’ve tried to hunt towards it I never gave them a definite answer because they weren’t people I was close nor comfortable with. Ah yes that would be embarrassing being put on the spot so suddenly

  • I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was almost 25.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. When you least expect it the right guy will enter your life. Hang in there!

  • If all u are doing is waiting for a guy to approach u then nit much can be done

  • I am only 18 and am not an expert on sex advice. Yes I have had sex but not much. I am horny 24 hours a day and jerk off daily like all teen guys. Hang in there. U WILL find the right guy!

  • You’re a young, attractive woman, you’re living life on easy mode. Go join some social clubs where you can meet guys. If you like running, join a running club.

  • Charm him with your beauty and sexuality 😉

  • Don't worry, there are people who have been through similar experiences. Just try to enjoy life and don't rush into a relationship just to avoid loneliness. Just try to let things happen and make sure you find a quality guy.

  • What's your ethnicity?

  • can i see a pic of u then i will tell u honestly how do u look...
    r u interested to have a boyfriend online for begining?

  • Loneliness is way better than being in a relationship… u’ll understand

  • you don want hookup or casual, no option than wait until a luck work!

  • Be glad that as a woman you don't have to do the pursuing or be the one to approach a guy

  • If you're attractive I don't see any reason for guys not to approach you. Could you be giving them cold person vibes?

    • I mean I’m definitely not the most attractive by any means, but I’d like to say I’m not ugly either. In person I do have a resting bitch face and maybe the way I dress can be intimidating. But as soon as I’m talked to I’m all smiles and love talking to people so I’d hope people wouldn’t assume I’m cold unless they’re just strangers

    • Yeah I get your point. I personally approach a girl unless she's giving me don't talk to me vibes haha. Maybe that's why they don't talk to you. And most guys aren't brave enough to cold approach a girl they saw outside anyways. There could be a lot more reasons as to why this could be happening to you. If you want you can DM me and we can discuss it with further details.

    • I don't get people who KNOW they have a resting bitch face, make no effort to appear friendlier, then act surprised when they're not approached. How do you dress that would be intimidating? Most men don't care so I doubt that's why they're not approaching you. You already called it, it's the RBF, because there are statistically significant to zero men out there that are going to be in a crowded room with more than one woman in it and say "that one over there looks the least approachable... let me go talk to her." It's always a numbers game and you're stacking the deck against yourself. You don't have to do that. You deserve a fair chance too.

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  • Girls feel like this too? I thought it was only a guy thing to be insecure about not having sex.