Sexual Relationships
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New boyfriend smaller than ex-husband afraid I won't feel him?

I was married for five years to a man with a nine inch penis. He's the man I lost my virginity to and only one I've had sex with. Our marriage didn't last and we divorced, and I've been without sex almost a year now in October. Last four months I've been dating a wonderful man, amazingly hot too! We haven't had sex yet, but we've been intimate (hand jobs, oral, etc). I want to have sex with him so much but I'm worried. He is only four inches and I'm concerned he won't be able to satisfy me like my ex did. He is half the size. I don't want to have sex and not feel him so I've told him I want to take it slow. But I'm at the breaking point! Shoukd I be worried? I really want him! But I don't want to hurt him either if he enters me and I feel nothing, that would be horrible for both of us.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is something my ex-wife goes through. I took her virginity as a 13 year old and 2 kids later we divorced. I'm well endowed there, big girth and certainly longer than most.

    If your ex's is thick as well as long then there are a few things to consider, you were presumably with him for some time, the times he put it into your vagina it wasn't always just a straight in and out, he may have moved it with some side or upward angles or perhaps he did lots of screw techniques while thrusting, I can safely say the only time I penetrated the ex was that first push when inserting into her, the other times always had some that went circularly or to her sides and yes some of those were fairly wide as well.

    Length wise, with the ex-wife I've always put most or all of mine into her and am sure your ex-husband during missionary may have also lifted or held your legs to your chest so he could go in deep or he may have done you doggy style and you most likely would have enjoyed it. I certainly did that with her even when she didn't enjoy it.

    There would also have been the times where he may have been rough, I certainly was with the ex, in fact towards the last 3 years, 90% of sex we had, the foreplay was less than 2-3 minutes and I would normally push fairly hard and deep in when entering her as I enjoyed it that way. Sometimes it was done without foreplay too.

    If it didn't hurt when you did it with him, most likely you won't feel much of your new guy.

  • If you should be worried, it actually depends! This might seem unrelated to your vaginal pleasure at first glance, but how do you feel while giving him oral and handjobs so far? Do you find it just as fun and sexy as it was with your ex? Do you like the look of his penis, the feel of it in your mouth during oral, and the feel of it in your hands during handjobs at least as much as you liked those things with your ex? Or do you find oral and handjobs with him less sexy?

    This is somewhat important, because unless a guy is abnormally tiny (which he's not), most pleasure will be a mental game. It's funny, but I first heard this point from a health professor during a lecture he gave once, lol. In terms of anatomy and physiology, within the common penis size range (about 4 to 7 inches, which includes your guy), there's nothing preventing a penis from being able to please most women if the guy has good technique and performs with passion. The rest --- the big question mark --- is all up to the MENTAL aspect that can often determine whether a girl will find that penis pleasurable or not.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Because someone is small doesn't mean you can be pleased. I know it's different but my ex was about 8incha and my current is about 6.
    Yet, my current is the best I've ever had. He pleases me best orally, just with fingers and with sex, yes it may be shorter and sweetier (excuse the pun) because there is more of a build up and more a plunge im still satisfied.

    Just because he is smaller doesn't mean you won't be happy. Hell my boyfriend is open to toys, it's not like you will never experience it again. You just need an open mind.

  • I think you need to relax and not worry about it, I feel like you're almost sabotaging the chances of good sex before you even have any by being so preoccupied over his size. Kind of like when a guy can't get hard, and he's constantly thinking and worrying about getting hard, and makes it even more difficult to get hard. Need to find a way to relax somehow and just enjoy things. Maybe have him give you some nice oral or something else so you are really really warmed up and ready for him when he puts it in

    • Yeah I do think I'm overthinking it lol I seriously do want him ! I just need to relax. Yeah thanks

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 15

  • I think if you are really into him, the two of you will find some ways to get you satisfied. Maybe he should start by spanking your naughty bare bottom to a bright red for being a size queen.

  • I don't think you should waste time on small cocks. Give him hand release, that will calm him down, and find a big boy.

    • Stay single

    • Every guy deserves more than you.

  • Dont worry about it.
    Vaginas are amazing things.
    My girl has pushed out a baby and she still feels the same to me.
    Your vagina will tighten up after a while and all will be good.
    If you want to speed it up try benwa balls.
    But sex should be about love.
    Just make love to your new man. Be close to him and enjoy the intimacy. Dont stress over the detailed mechanics of it all

    • New guy can never go as deep. And that's really important for some women.

  • Well the down time has given your body to tighten back up. If he's got the girth he might do just find if he knows how to use it. Trying it out is the only way to tell.

  • size dont matter give him a chance

  • I'm sorry I can't help you but thank you... you made my day. I haven't laughed this hard all day.

  • The only thing you should be worried about is how you can break free of thinking of sex as a job

    Its how you transcend your emotions to each others less about hitting dick hitting your walls. Try to take it easy and worry less. Its a natural size and its not a medical condition so it enuf

    And if its not ask god why he gave your boyfriend a penis that couldnt do it for you, if you make it there

    • I don't think of sex like a job where did you get that? I don't want either of us hurt! I really like him and want to sleep with him!

    • Why would you or him be hurt If I really like a girl I really dont care whats underneath. Whatever is there im happy with it because I like her Unless its a medical situation then its different because its too abnormal. But 4 inches is not abnormal

  • My exwife is in a similar position, except she's run through at least a dozen men. However i was also a very intense lover and I'm totally a pleaser and she's expressed not being able to come near replacing me in this department which I find amusing since she was totally abusive - kind of like poetic justice, I was her first, she had no clue how good she had it in this and other ways... I think it's more the latter (a good lover) than the huge cock... So if your ex was also a killer lover, not just a huge cock lol, then you might have a problem.

    Also you can do kegels to tighten up and you can also help him learn about penis enlargement and over time fill the "gap" (pun intended) ...

  • The proof of the pudding is in the eating, they say. A 9 in screwdriver isn't necessary better than a 4 in screwdriver. And a watchmaker couldn't use either.

    • I'm not sure how to take this

    • But if the size of the job requires a jackhammer, that 4 in screwdriver is best left at home.

    • @Regulatus if asker needs a jackhammer...

    • Show All

  • shouldn't you be worried that he can't feel you?

  • Just do it already! He probably feels like dirt, waiting will just make him feel worse.

  • Do him a favor and breakup with him... he deserves way better than a bitch like you...

    And I'd all you want is a big cock then go to a whore house! Thats what you deserve... you don't deserve anything good

    • I'm sensing some hostility

    • Don't be such an asshole! I want this guy in just worried I won't feel him! Did you even read my post or are you such an ass because women won't give you any that you're anti woman in all areas now? I mean really could it be any more obvious?

    • You should give him a chance! That's what I saying... Size doesn't Matter if he knows how to please you...

    • Show All

  • nine inches sure

  • Just leave him, if you really wanted him this wouldn't be an issue. Most girls aren't bothered by this issue, only the ones that just want sex

  • Well...#%&$. I'm four inches. I hate my life again, but I'm glad I'm still a virgin and never had to deal with this...

  • He can be small, but still able to give you awesome orgasms, if he is that small it means that he probably has some great skills

  • Don't worry. He won't feel anything either (hot dog in a hallway) and you both will know to break up.

    True story time: I once dated a woman who was convinced that my 5" dick was about 8" because her previous boyfriend had told her he had a 9" dick when he obviously didn't and she never bothered to measure him. I had to put a dollar bill next to my dick and show her that a 6" dollar is longer than I am.

    • LOL well thanks for that

  • Well... I don't know.

    I think it will feel different. It may not be worse. One woman here told me short guys hit her g spot better (I'm a little above average though not your exes soze so she wasn't just trying to make me feel better). Long would hit some erogenous zones at the back of your vagina better. I'd maybe go with an angle that maximizes g spot and see how it goes.

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