Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
As many of you know, the hashtag #metoo has blown up the internet lately.
Before the Harvey Weinstein scandal took over the internet, a friend told me something. She informed me that as a child she was molested by her uncle. The molestation happened from 6 years old to 11 years old; every single time she'd go to his house. Both her parents worked, so she had to go there after school. He would put her down for a "nap," lay down next to her, and then touch her. Let me mention now, she's 15. She'll be 16 in November. I had noticed throughout the years she became more tense, quieter around the guys we hung out with. It made sense, her wariness. To have this happen as a young child is already scarring. What's even worse? She has to go see him for Christmas.
At 15, one of my best friends is completely and utterly afraid of all men.
When did this happen? There are so many people stepping forward now. How can so many people fit in the shadows of society?
One of the main questions I had when she told me this was "why now?" But she cleared it up very quickly;
"I thought it was my fault." That has stuck with me through this entire thing. They think it's their fault; that they provoked the offender. Let me tell you something now:
It is not your fault. And I know, people are probably scrolling down to the comments to furiously type out a comment talking about how dumb I am, how I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't care what you wore, or where you were...there is something called consent. Unfortunately, some people don't understand that no means no.
I saw the Pride and Prejudice play last weekend. One thing that stuck out to me was when Elizabeth Bennet's cousin proposed to her. She strictly declined...but he tried again, and again, trying to force this marriage. Although it was a humorous scene, I kind of grouped this scenario with the whole sexual assault issue. People force it again and again, even after the victim says no multiple times. Eventually, they give up.
One thing I've also seen is people describing what they wore when they were assaulted. Like they need to defend themselves. Do you understand these people, who maybe just convinced themselves it wasn't their fault, are actual people? That your comments may pull them back into thinking it was their fault? I cannot stress this enough: The clothes do not matter.
There are children who are fully aware of what is happening. A child I babysit asked me if I had ever sexually harrassed anyone. He's 8. He understands that a predator can be anyone, even the babysitter he's known for half a decade. We are raising children to live in fear so they will stay safe. And although that seems horrible, who is offering a better option?
I love you all. And although I can't say #metoo, I do say #Ibelieveyou.
What Girls & Guys Said
6 21excellent mytake. People need to understand this. With the way the new thinking is going on, this is what people need to understand
'Alyssa Milano' created "MeToo" sounds alike wave feminism against all Mens.
What's interesting is how you interpret victims coming forward to tell their stories as an attack on all men. Unless you've sexually assaulted or harassed someone, there's no need for you to feel attacked or offended because you don't belong to the group these victims are coming forward about. Men have also come forward with their stories.
Men are nothing to fear. Some of them would like to think they are, but that's a different discussion for a different day. It's time women understand how to implement consequences on these perps if the law will not take care of it.
Personally speaking, I don't understand how more of these stories don't end with someone shooting the abuser. You can't control how others behave, but you do have control over your reaction.
Someone being afraid of ALL men because of ONE man is sad.
Let's clarify the feminist buzzwords... EVERYONE KNOWS that NO means NO. EVERYONE! Just like everyone knows that breaking into a car or killing someone is wrong. It doesn't STOP mentally screwed up people from committing the acts. You can spew the NO means NO mantra until you pass out. Bad PEOPLE will be bad people. When female teachers molest children at ridiculous rates, the "consent" is assumed because the victims are boys and "boys are perverts".
Living in fear of everyone because of a fraction of bad people is like being afraid of all spiders because there are a few poisonous ones.
The clothes DO matter, FFS. But not in the idiotic "it doesn't causes rape" concept feminist throw around. Of course it DOESN'T CAUSE rape... logic (which most feminist don't have) will tell you that a bad person will commit a crime regardless of the situation but an EASIER situation will provide a much more likely target.
A unlocked car with money on the seat will be more likely broken into than a locked one with no visible valuables. But if the only car available was locked ones, then the bad person will take what they can.
Just like a sexual predator will commit the crime regardless, when the options are a female that makes herself an easy target or one that doesn't... claiming that the easy target isn't more likely is just retarded thinking.
Part 1 Hi there. I'm just trying to enforce the whole no means no thing... sorry if that offended you. As for my friend, her experience is so horrific that she just can't really be comfortable with men. I'm also sorry if these words (written by a 15 year old) offended you. And for the clothes? I guess it's a matter of opinion. Earlier this year, I read an article about this college who did an exhibit on sexual assault victims. Yes, there were swimsuits and bras and tight dresses, but there were also Old Navy shirts and jeans and a long sleeve pajama tops and long pajama pants. THAT is why I don't believe the whole 'oh but she looked hot so obviously I would have sex with her' thing.
Part 2 "... when the options are a female that makes herself an easy target or one that doesn't... claiming that the easy target isn't more likely is just retarded thinking." This actually really makes me mad. Why can't women go out in dresses just to feel nice? I don't think anyone is trying to set themselves up to be sexually assaulted. We aren't trying to be an easy target. The whole car analogy isn't right, either. Just a few months ago, my uncle was parked in a Target near where he lived. It's a nice town. He locked his doors and went inside. When he came back out, the windows were shattered and the patient files, his backpack, and his MacBook were all gone. There were probably tons of open cars, but the "bad person" went to what he wanted and worked hard to get it. These bad people will get what they want, no matter if they are easy victims or not.
Dude, no wonder you are anonymous.
If clothes did matter so much then why wasn't my friend raped who was walking around in a t-shirt and underwear but I who was fully clothed was? The way I see its more of to do with power, he wanted something he shouldn't have (I had a boyfriend then nor did I want him anyway). But he went for it anyway. How do I make myself less of an easy target then if wearing normal clothing doesn't help? (Heck even people in burkas get raped) I don't agree that one should hate all men because of what one man has done. But having been a victim it's easy to fall into that mindset, it's your brain's natural reaction to danger. It happened to me the first week until I gradually got out of it because of all the help I had. Some don't get out of it and develop a phobia. It's NOT easy.
@Rainie_ Thanks again. You're a great writer.
If everyone knows that no means no then why are there still people like Robin Thicke who make songs about "blurred lines" and how "girls want it" even if they say no? That they just need to be persuaded (read: pressured) and that they really mean yes? Many guys have raped girls without even knowing it. There have been studies made where guys even ADMIT to raping girls as long as the word "rape" or "rapist" isn't specifically used, jezebel.com/.../rapists-admit-repeated-crimes--as-long-as-you-dont-call-it-rape
It's not about bad people vs good people. Many rapists are completely "normal" people who go to school, have a job, have a bunch of friends, maybe even a partner. Many friends and family members of rapists always tell the media how they "never suspected anything" and the rapist is actually "a good kid". A rapist isn't always some mentally ill person who's hiding in the bushes waiting to attack. Most rapists know the victim, which is what makes the victim an easy target.
@mikimouse13 Nope, you didn't "offend" me. I am not so easily triggered. Your friend is part of a generation which is raised to believe all men are rapist, so it is expected that she feels this way. Your clothing explanation is assuming "clothes CAUSE rape" which if you read what I said, is NOT the case. It simply makes the victim an easier target. There is a BIG difference. ALSO... no one said you wanting to "feel pretty" in a dress is saying you want to get sexually assaulted. Just like no one wants to have to lock their doors or hide their valuables to stop bad people from doing bad things. But ENTITLEMENT is when I leave my doors unlocked and simply expect bad people to stop being bad people. Which is what women generally believe when they believe what you do. The car analogy works when you read. I said that bad people WILL do bad things regardless, but having an unlocked door makes it more likely because it's an easier target. That doesn't mean it won't happen otherwise...
... and "his backpack, and his MacBook were all gone" WHERE were these items? were they visible on the seat? ... EXACTLY! The other possibly unlocked cars didn't have the valuables left in the open.
@Rainie_ ONCE AGAIN. NO one said rapist don't rape for other reasons FFS! If a sick person has decided to commit a crime they will commit it no matter what but having a choice between an easy target or a hard target they will obviously pick the easy target. So in your friends case, there was no easier target. How is this so hard for you to understand?
@lumos Where were your and feminists complaints when Nicki Minaj literally said "Justin Beiber, gonna hit him with the either. Buns out wiener, have to watch out for selene'r." Where she LITERALLY mentioned knocking a male out and raping him? Thicke's song didn't mention shit, you feminist simply took it as meaning what you wanted it to mean to play victim. There are blurred lines with women because you play the chase game. You play the no mean no unless it means chase me more to show how much you want me bullshit (and don't act like women don't do that shit). The reason "many guys have raped girls and never knew it" is because women keep redefining "rape" to mean regret, "feeling obligated", and having a sip of alcohol. (even when the male is black out drunk, he is responsible for his actions AND her? because she is to simple minded to say yes if she has a drop of alcohol? What happened to "Strong and independent"? How about women start taking responsibility for their own choices?
1) Sorry I don't listen to Nicki Minaj 2) The fact that one female rapper mentions violence against a specific guy in her song doesn't negate the fact that Robin Thicke's song is disgusting to pretty much all women 3) You said in your initial opinion that everyone knows that no means no but now you want to backtrack and say that no sometimes doesn't mean no? Lol. 4) The lyrics of Robin Thicke's song are literally about how a girl is saying no but Thicke is reading it as a "yes" because of "blurred lines" and because she apparently is a good girl who deep down wants to be nasty. That's creepy af. It's not about redefining rape. Guys have literally admitted to trying to use force or threats (i. e. rape) in order to have sexual intercourse, and the only reason they admitted it was because the word "rape" wasn't being used in the study. Men don't want to take any responsibility as long as they're not called a rapist. Don't have sex when you're drunk maybe?
It's hilarious that men always go off on women for not being "responsible" and that "bad men exist and it's something we as women need to face" yet y'all throw your hands in the air the moment you get drunk and there's a possibility that a girl might wrongfully accuse you. Bad girls exist and it's something you need to face. If you don't want to be falsely accused of rape then don't get into "blurred" situations where you're drunk and the girl could accuse you of rape. ^ using your own pretty logic against you.
@lumos You are trying to excuse it because it was "1 female rapper", Robin Thicke is a one hit wonder, Minaj is a popular female artist who young girls look up to.
Like I said, his song didn't actually mention Rape like hers did.
I am not backtracking. I said everyone knows "No means No" that doesn't negate the fact that women will change their definition (like they do with rape). Women DO play the no means try harder bullshit all the time, and they expect males to read their mind and know when is when. But as a male we know that "No means No" you false victims never shut up about it.
Women (not feminist, but actual women) want men to be aggressive and try even when they say no, because they don't want to come across as "easy". It's a biological normality.
www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-allure-aggressive-men
Men take and are forced to take responsibility for EVERYTHING, and we do it without issue. But, when men try to say NO to drunk women they generally attack our masculinity.
www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...G-sleep-woman-date.html
You have a point. A woman shouldn't be afraid of all men, just because of one man. But I can't help but notice a huge following of MGTOW men of this website. Mainly because ONE woman treated them badly, they are giving up on ALL women.
@Poppykate Although I am not MGTOW, I know some and they have more than a "all women suck" because of one woman mentality. The concept of MGTOW is that women as a sex generally see men as either a protector, a provider, or a baby maker. But otherwise we are generally disposable and when shit goes bad they try and destroy us and take everything we worked hard for. This is generally a true statement if you look at how women see divorce. MGTOW is men saying fuck this biased system. I refuse to be treated like a subservient Muppet. I want to be who I am, not be forced to change to fit some females idea of who I should be. I will not forfeit my life, time, money, or things because I decide to love someone.
I don't believe I told you where the macbook and patient files are, so stop jumping to conclusions. They were hidden away in his trunk, for your information. He did, however, have a pair of Nikes in the back seat but those weren't stolen, were they? Fact check before you try to make a point, please.
That scapegoat doesn't make the point less valid. But you keep on believing whatever keeps your misandry moving.
I agree with Anonymous!
Dude I live in a freaking 3rd world country and harassent/ assault and even rape isn't as prevalent as in the US from what I've been seeing. You guys are like the rape capital of the world rn.
Regarding "You guys are like the rape capital of the world rn," check this out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0mzqL50I-w
@cavmanier I'm in work so I'll watch that when I get home.
If 1 in 5 women are raped in US colleges, that means it's higher than the rape capital of the world (the eastern congo). Yeah universities in the first world have far higher rape rates than areas run by rebel terrorists. Stop listening to feminist propaganda.
@bbb10 Watch the video. It isn't feminist propaganda.
I know that the stat comes from a university survey, and that 1 in 5 included sexual harassment all the way to rape. A guy simply saying "hey, nice ass" would put you in that one in five in a limited survey.
@bbb10 They based their statistic on website with non verified sources. The website creators even said it isn't appropriate to make their claims. Why would they do that? Well they obviously want the problem to seem as common as they can in order to promote exaggerations. That's basically how the media works.