Non-virgins what are your best tips for a virgin’s first time?

[caitydv]

For both males and females?

[CriticalDiscourse]

First: consent is necessary. Not half-consent, not being "talked into it," not refusing to say no because you're afraid. You're also allowed to retract consent at any point, even if you're already in the process of having sex. Following that, use proper birth control methods and safety measures to avoid STDs, such as having your partner either get tested and by wearing condoms.

Second, make sure it's with someone you trust fully. This, of course, may not be everyone's route, some people are more into the one-night-stand scenario, but for myself and people I care about, I suggest making sure you know the person well.

Third, have a conversation beforehand if you can about what you're comfortable with and what you're not. This establishes beforehand that you have limitations that you want your partner to respect.

Getting into the actual physical part: don't try to do anything too "creative" or "kinky" to start. It can make things awkward if you're trying to execute some crazy position and it fails. Keep it to simple things like experimenting with oral sex, fingers, and eventually penetration in easy positions, such as missionary or cowgirl.

Bring lube. Even if you get "wet" from arousal, sex for the first time can be tense, and having additional lubricant can prevent things like tearing (bleeding) and unnecessary discomfort. Don't fall into the myth that you MUST bleed every time someone loses their virginity. It's a farce.

Emphasize forplay. Like I said, oral, fingers, and general touching and exploring each others bodies can make the scenario not only more enjoyable, but less intimidating then just jamming it in.

Speaking of: DO NOT just let this guy rail you (if you're having sex with a man, that is). Encourage your partner to EASE himself in slowly to allow your body time to fully adjust before rolling into continuous thrusts.

And finally, as a female, it's very important to pee afterwards to prevent possible infections.

I think that just about sums up all of my major tips.

[CrazyGirl2]

First, wait until you are sure that this is the right person for you. If they pressure you, then that rules them out as being the right person! Next, take your time, don’t rush your first time, if you are a girl, it will hurl less if you are naturally lubed and he takes his time and is extremely gentle!

[zeitgeist057]

Being relaxed is probably most important. Some of the things I will mention below should aid relaxation and the experience.

Second, I would say you want it to be memorable and special, so think about what that means to you. Maybe you would want to make it a perfect experience with candles, different things you might like such being spanked with roses, naked massage, warm soft blankets and pillows, some other items like food and drinks. Or food you can play with like whipped cream or melted chocolate, honey, etc. The lighting, temperature, environment, noise, etc, I would think about them all. Do you want a specific kind of music playing? This is your first time, and that only happens once.

I recommend being sober. If you really want to have a little wine or something for the romance of it, I would be very limited but again, I would prefer total sobriety.

I would talk about it with whomever you are going to lose your virginity to. Talk about the things you are hoping for. If you want to try giving and or receiving oral sex, for example. Other things you might be curious about (but could also wait until later) are anal play, spanking/whips, choking, hot items like melted wax, cold items like ice cubes, being tied up, blindfolded, and different positions you are interested in (missionary, doggy style, cowgirl, and standing are a couple basic ones. There is a whole book called the Kama Sutra if you want more ideas!)

With all that said, also be okay if everything doesn't turn out to be exactly perfect. Things happen. Maybe he only lasts 5 minutes, or something you thought would feel good, doesn't, or you got chocolate stains on a favorite piece of clothing, etc.

I hope you have an amazing first time! I am always excited if a girl decides to lose her virginity to me, it is a special occasion to cross into the world of the sexually active, and a great way to celebrate your intimate connection with another human being!

[AndyOh]

Your first time needs to be a very special event.
Of all the sex you will have in life, your first time will be the one you will always remember. Every other sexual event will be a blur with few details if any.
So my advice it to make sure it is something you want to remember. The day and time, where, what is special, did you go out first and have a great evening, is there anything else you could add to make it more special... candles, music, the bed or place, what you might wear at first... things like that.

[AndyOh]

Thanks for the MHO :) I hope the first time went well.

[MrHopper]

Dont worry about it or make a big deal about it, its really not important but society makes it out like it is... as you get older no one really cares much about who has or hasn't done it, its just assumed people have many times with many people and everyone freely talks about it in jokes or life

[Lowiu]

Relax and dont expect too much as a girl i didn't have na orgasmus first time and felt pretty awkward for the most of the time if something does not feel good for you tell him and dont let him pressure you to do something you do not want

[sbnalenon]

Even if you think you are ready, you're probably not. Dont let your hormones control you, you control your hormones. Take it slow, take some times with foreplays, orals and stuff. May take hours, days or weeks before you are actually ready. Lube up and experiment if you aren't sure.

[LiamSawyer]

I'd say most important is to relax, make sure you're good and wet and try to relax as if you clench down on your pelvic muscles it will more difficult for penetration and may become painful.

[Cdnowl]

Take it slow. Really slow.

[0112358]

Be as a roused as possible / probably on the verge of orgasm. Relax but try to focus on that's hot and exciting as opposed to focusing on what you don't want to feel.

[exitseven]

You should love the other person. It is not like shaking hands.

[CaptainLegal]

1. Always have a condom prepared just in case.
2. Have some water based lube* near you in case the girl isn't that "wet" down there. Or she naturally doesn't get that wet.
* Water based lubes don't disolve condoms
3. Foreplay and oral sex is really important for the girl to relax.
4. Take it slow. It's the first you don't want it to hurt, you wanna have fun and enjoy the moment.

[MarkyMark77]

thats a great question wanna just dm and i can chat with u about it? when u planning on losing ur v card?

[Twalli]

Virgin guys are best doing missionary and virgin girls are best doing cowgirl. If both are virgins do cowgirl

[petargrom]

Don't do it all unless you intend to stay with that person for good.
I'd be the first one to say 'no sex before wedding' is silly - back in the days I was young. Now - it was never really worth much except for the person you want to share yourself with un entirety. You can't only have/share sex and not the rest - you can, but it feels incomplete

[Bklynbadboy12]

Make sure your first time is special if you don't I promise you'll regret it

[more_than_a_guy]

Do simple positions, communicate, learn about her, try not to get nervous (each man has his own technique to get less nervous), don't expect it to be pure gold on the srart, get condoms, do foreplay, try slow at first and get the rhythm. Good luck.

[jjj101010]

Enjoy it but don’t over think it. It is rarely as special as u think it will be and u will be pleased it’s out of the way so u can start getting better at it

[rapfan107]

Relax, take it slow, don't do things that make you uncomfortable the first time and enjoy the experience

[lonely5man]

you shouldn't be excited, you shouldn't be excited

[Anonymous]

Just take it easy, and relax.
Nothing stressful.

[Anonymous]

Someone you love or know well or both. Make sure he’s not in it just to take your virginity, unless you’re ok with that.
Communicate what you want and are comfortable with. Take your time. You don’t have to jump straight into vaginal sex and it doesn’t have to be a direct process, unless that is what you want. My first time was a process. We hung out, kissed, played around in bed, took a break had dinner, went back to bed and kissed, foreplay etc until we actually had vaginal intercourse.

[Anonymous]

Relax and have fun. Sex is natural, don't overthink it.