(Not real) Rape fantasy?

i enjoy rape fantasy. Is something wrong with me? Obviously it’s not real rape … we have a safe word. But I’ve never had to use it. I tell him what to do beforehand, and I just love it. When he ignores me when I say “No!” And does what he wants beyond my will. I love it so much. But is something wrong with me? 🥺 I heard it can be common … I’m very submissive

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Superb Opinion

  • One of the most common fantasies for women is rape. Of course, they would not actually want to be raped, but they still get a thrill from things like bodice ripper novels and the thought of being ravished by a handsome man who finds her irresistible and can't can't control his passion. It can excuse a woman from any guilt of breaking the taboo of fornication. Plus, many women love being submissive and being taken by a powerful, dominant male.

    Acting out a rape scenario within the confines of "consensual non-consent" isn't as common as merely fantasizing about rape, but it's not uncommon.
    https://www.modernintimacy.com/is-cnc-kink-normal-understanding-forced-sex-fantasies/

    It's absolutely fine and even normal if done consensually and safely with a trusted partner. It's little different from engaging sexual role play, which is very common. That stuff can be really fun.

    I'd tell you to reject any guilt and enjoy yourself.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Very common. And it is fun. I have made similar comments before. At the end of the day it is about a man being so sexually excited by his girlfriend that he just has to have her. Why wouldn't a girl friend who likes her boy friend wouldn't like him to occasionally feel such desire that he has to be all over her?

    A couple of girls inducted me into this. And it was facilitating to express that sudden male desire when your girlfriend does something that is so cute. There have been cute times when I have rushed my girlfriend to the bed and other times when the bedroom was too far and it had to be on the floor. Every time that has happened the girlfriend was giggling over my lust with a very pleased expression on her face.

    I don't think you need a safe word. I even seen it written that there should be a safe word in missionary for gods sake. One of the inducting girls would be in vanilla missionary with me and start saying "Rape. Rape. Help. Help. Get Out Get Out" and twist me out and repeat. She made it so I had to pin her down and take it - which is what she wanted.

    How about NO for the safe word? It simply isn't hard to discern the difference between NO stop you are hurting me and a fun NO.

    One girlfriend started refusing sex so I countered by wrapping her fingers around my penis and telling her to say NO again. She certainly got turned on by saying NO to manifest lust. She also enjoyed faux complaining about it later which seems to be another thing girls can like to do as a 'victim' of lust.

    Don't let political correct wowsers stop your fun!

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't like to use the term "rape" fantasy because those of us to have these fantasies don't actually want to be raped irl. But it is definitely a very powerful fantasy. My boyfriend indulges me with role playing similar to what you describe. It can be hot.

    • I’m not sure what to call it then? Someone said it’s called CNC

    • I prefer that term as well, because that's really what it is.

    • Ravishment is a good word and conjures male passion and I think female enjoyment. We do say a woman looks ravishing when she is particularly well frock'ed up but we wouldn't say she looks rape worthy. Ravish has the same meaning as rape but there is a sliver of difference that is all the difference. So I'd say don't overthink it and just enjoy. That 'Rape Rape' girlfriend and I also discovered that she liked waking to an orgasm. So sexosomnia became a thing for us. I do like it to be organic but maybe that is because I don't easily drop into a role without it being genuine. One of the really hot aspects is that it is male lust enabling. We don't have to fill in forms in triplicate (joke to be clear). One of the things that has been consistently fun is, if I am feeling horny, I call my girlfriend to me to 'show her something'. And when she comes to me, I pull out my erection as the something to show her and there is some chasy round the lounge room. Are you OK with your guy initiating? It is pretty good for a guy to feel the need and immediately do something about it.

  • No because I want that too. My guy is the opposite of being overly dominant so it would be nice to see him go 50 shades of Grey on my ass. He is really nice and gentle which is great and all but sometimes I want the rough sex.

    • You need to facilitate him. Quite seriously none of us want to hurt our girl and we will err more on being too gentle than being too forceful. I mentioned above that a couple of girls facilitated me without a single word of real conversation. The first girlfriend would be having vanilla missionary sex with me and then twist me out and cry out "Rape Rape". She would wait for me to re-insert and re-establish a rhythm then do it again and again. It was inherently exciting and frustrating. The frustration would win out and I would have to pin her down as she wanted. Another girl would dodge my kisses and say "Take it. Take it". Taking it extended to more than kisses. It is great you have a gentle guy. You see he has got a mental bar of how forceful he should be but you would like that bar to be higher at times. You could talk about it but it is better to demonstrate it as my "Rape Rape" girlfriend did. by the way I was a complete fail at 50 Shades of Grey on her ass. Another girl unexpectedly threw herself over my legs and said "Spank me". I quite liked the concept but didn't have any idea of how hard I should spank and should I leave bruises? I was far too gentle and she was disappointed. I really needed some non-verbal feedback from her. That's the thing another person can't really know what is too forceful and what is not forceful enough. You should do some back seat driving.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I really don’t understand rape fantasy because it’s still consensual

    • Yeah … I’m not sure what the correct term is then. Maybe bdsm?

    • Bdsm is separate. Bdsm is the like of when someone inflicts pain on you, or if you like to inflict pain onto another person. Rape fantasy is people cosplaying a rape incident basically, but I don’t understand it because it’s still consensual

    • Ok … I don’t like pain

  • Its considered, depending on how broadly speaking we are, the second most common fantasy for women (that still counts as a kink). Most common being girl-girl.

    As everyone said so far it isn't really a matter of non-consent since it all adheres to your fantasy and comes with a word or action to stop it all. I reckon there's a lot of components that might be appealing. As you're fully on the "receiving" end any notion of guilt? Gone. Performing? Gone (minus acting?). Feel desired? Check (he can't stop himself). Helpless? Check. Taboo? Check. So on.

    But no, speaking raw numbers and changing the statement to have had rather than actively having it is more common among women yo have had this type of fantasy than not having had it. You can feel... normal.

    Of course always important to highlight it is actually a safe, consensual role play with someone you like, trust and are attracted to. Just because it is one of those topics where being too blunt helps.

  • I dated a girl once that had fantasies like this. She liked the guy to take complete control and make the first move. The problem is, I'm a little shy, so she had to help get me out of that shell.

    This is actually a common fantasy. I read in this psychology book once that most sexual fantasies are taboo ones. But I remember reading about this particular one, and it said rape is not actually about the sex for the rapist. It's about him or her knowing they have control. Not the sexual satisfaction.

    I'd say there's nothing wrong with this fantasy. Everyone has kinks and fetishes. Oh, some of the weird things I'm into, lol.

  • I wouldn't say it means anything's wrong with you; I think it's actually pretty common. Just remember to play safely (as it sounds like you are) and don't let your desires push you into anything too dangerous or stupid.

  • I’ve had my head handed to me in the past on GAG for saying what I’m about to say yet again…

    No, I don’t think this is normal or healthy. We live in a day and age where there is a great distain for real rape. We live in a society where women get raped all the time or become victims of some sort of sexual battery. Most of those crimes never see a court room nor is the perpetrator punished. Yet on the other hand, there are a lot of people who are falsely accused of rape. It is a very sick society! So I try to figure out why in the world someone would want to make a sexual role-play out if it. It is very similar to people who do a mock role-play of children and adults having sex. It’s not a real child involved, but it is still glorifying and indulging in the fantasy of something that is evil and horrific! It would seem to me that if people truly dislike rape in society, they wouldn’t do BDSM, or rape role-play fantasies at all. Same as if people dislike pedophilia, they wouldn’t do role-play with women wearing diapers and calling a guy “daddy.“ Consensual or not, it’s sick and distorted behavior and frankly, its a mental sexual disorder which has a specific paraphilia name assigned to it.

    I find all this stuff very troubling, which is why I’ve been accused often times of being “too vanilla” in my own sexual preferences or judgmental by some people here on GAG. Sorry if it hurts someone’s feelings, but I am not going to stand by and be silent on something that’s real problem in modern society, in which true reality is being ignored.

    • I understand what you’re saying , and I feel bad for being this way

  • I think its completely fine. You have a safeword. Your partner understands what you want. Its just fun sex play. I see nothing at all wrong with it. Its a pretty common fantasy and you are lucky to have a partner who enjoys it as well.

    Its no more like real rape, than enjoying action movies implies someone wants to shoot people.

    I think its great to have a relationship where you trust each other enough to play this way, to live out your fantasies.

    Enjoy.

  • It's REAL common. If you're enjoying it... you do you... screw the haters.

  • It is very common. You can read about in the book My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday who did a lot of research.

  • I don't understand this fantasy at all. I find it degrading to actual rape victims. I've met several women online that literally say they want to be raped. Its absolutely bat shit.

  • you like CNC. Perhaps he feels guilty, guys have to be careful since we get get accused of sexual assault/rape to easily.

    personally I've kind of had this fantasy too.. he’s a lucky guy ;)

  • Yes, it is very common. Or the getting picked up at the bar scenario.

  • What you are describing here is called CNC and there are people who like that sort of thing so don't worry about it.

  • The number of girls who start to like it is increasing for sure. you are not alone!

  • It's not an actual "rape" fantasy that you want but to be dominated and controlled sexually in bed. Supposedly, it's pretty common among women.

  • I like this too but you're not allowed to talk about it. If you get a serious boyfriend then you can say to him, "rape me" but no one else.

    • Yes. My boyfriend has always been sweet and gentle and I kind of took a 180 turn on this lol. At first he thought I meant I actually wanted to be raped by someone else, and I’m like no no only by you ! And it’s not actual rape. And make sure you cuddle and love me right afterwards 😛

  • A little bit.

  • I was raped and almost killed, so I find any kind of rape fantasy very disturbing.

  • same. i am also submissive. i like him to be dominant and do whatever he wants.