Oilfield man.. is he cheating?

So the other day I was helping my boyfriend of 3 years pack his bag for his hitch. We went to academy and bought him a new backpack. Anyways, as I was unpacking his old bag I saw two condoms. In all three years of being together we only used a condom the first time. Sure we talked about using them to be safe but never actually went out and bought any. I brought it to his attention and he played it off. Grabbed them and threw rhem. on the dresser and he continued packing. He said he didn't even know they were there. Of course I wasn't gonna leave it at that. I walked out ready to break down. He followed and pleaded and begged that he swore he didn't know thwy were there and that why would he even need that. He cried and was very angry with me for not believing him. He comes back in three days and now im not sure how to go about things. Bring it up then what? Is he really cheating.. any oilfield girlfriends on here.
Updates:
+1 y
What bugs me his tho is his reaction. I looked at the condoms and said are these condoms and he said yes. I hadn't evwn pulled them out or anything.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think you have to decide if you trust him. If you do and he says that he's not cheating, unless you find more direct evidence of his cheating, you need to drop it. Is it possible they have been in his back pack for longer than you've been together? Is it possible someone on the rig is jealous of him having you and set him up? I feel your pain but if you can't get past your suspicion, you're gonna lose him. I was married to an intensely jealous and suspicious woman for 27 years and hated it. I stayed for my daughter. As soon as she went off to college, I bailed.

    • He bought that bag like a year ago so there's no way. I keep tellinf him I need an explanation but he says their most likely his friend that he would always go to lunch with and he's leave his stuff in his car. & same here. We have a 2 month old daughter.

    • You have to decide. If he won't admit to anything then you either have to let it go or him go. With a two month old daughter in the mix, I'd just tell him that you're not satisfied with how he handled things and I that you don't want to have anything like this come up again. Please! Do not turn into a bitter, spiteful, snooping psycho bitch over this. Let it go and move on. I can tell this is gonna be hard for you. If you can, get some professional help to let it go. Then move on trusting him.

  • I have friends who are offshore oil workers and some play away. Divorce rates are high.
    Him getting angry is not good enough. As you say they are 2014 but they have a shelf life of a few years so they could be a few years old.
    But there needs to be a good answer. He needs to have an answer that you believe.
    Trust takes years to gain and seconds to lose forever.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Unless the condoms are old, it sounds like he's possibly cheating.

    • Yeah thats in my head this whple time he's away. The condoms were 2014 so no. I've told him multiple times if he can't give me an explanation im out. We'll talk about tho when he gets here.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • there could be condoms from a long time before you. I have plenty lying around all over the place - in backpacks, car, wallet, dresser, drawers, jackets, you name it.

    • Condom had a date 2014

  • Sounds pretty suspicious. Unless that bag and the condoms were over 3 years old, then he's probably cheating.

    Sorry :(

  • Oilfield worker? Yup.

    • What makes u so sure if I may ask?

    • Okay, I'll say I'm 95% certain. I've worked alongside many. A hint is as good as an admission. There's the very small chance that they got in there by accident. Very small. Working from a camp means there's no real supervision, or judgement, and lots of temptation. There are women who see guys with very high paying jobs that they might get some of, and the guys know they have very slim chances of getting caught. Tons of guys cheat at camp jobs. Lot's of the women do too, for that matter, there are just a lot fewer of them.

  • I do similar work, fly in fly out stuff, I can tell you a lot of guys are like that, but I think the majority are not. You're going to have to make a judgement call for yourself. My ex wife and I fought all the time, and it's so easy to go months without getting laid when your never home, so yeah the temptation can get intense.

    • Yeah.. thing is he's never mentioned girls working with him. Juat a bunch of guys. All he tells me is that when they have a bit of free time they have a coupl beers and fo eat.. but now im swcomd guessing if thats what he's actually doin

    • Many camps don't even allow beer.