Ok naughty listers, who got some this Christmas?

Give us all the messy details! Did you get your stockings filled nicely? Were you wrapped up a little too well? Did you burn the Turkey cuz you were too busy with the stuffing? 😉

Try to have some Christmas innuendo fun with whatever naughty hijinks you got up to today!
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  • True story: The Mrs. Clause was at our house today, was making a casserole for Christmas dinner. As she was working on it, a very naughty elf came along. He was a naked elf, who had just taken a shower. The elf had dry skin, and asked Mrs Clause to massage some moisturizer on his back to stop the itching. Mrs Clause dutifully rubbed the cream onto his back. He then turned around, and 'innocently' asked her to put some on his front. He kept asking her to go lower with the cream. Suddenly, Mrs. Clause realized the naught elf had a large, hard candy cane, and two Christmas balls. The elf got her to massage the candy cane. The elf got very, very interested in the process, and the candy came got harder and larger, and the elf started noises, and wouldn't stay still, as Mrs. Clause massaged the cream in. He even shook the Christmas balls around, right there in the kitchen, and kept sliding the candy cane back and forth in her hand. After a few minutes, all was quiet again. Mrs Clause couldn't figure out what happened to the long, hard, candy cane. It was gone. The naughty elf then left with the two Christmas balls, and a pink pickle. Nobody knows where the pickle came from, or where the candy cane went. And it turns out, it was no naughty elf, but Santa Clause himself.

  • Sadly I'm single, so I didn't get any this time around, but hopefully that'll change for next year :P

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 9
  • It was a white Christmas Eve last night for me.

  • Damn all these metaphors just got me really in the mood for some. But unfortunately it was and still is a lonely Christmas for me

  • Its been a silent night.

  • Im stuck at work (alone) and sent my girlfriend a tease and she replied with her breasts.

  • Haha I wish 😂

  • 😂😂😂 nothing for me unfortunately.

  • Was stuffing the turkey but after a few seconds I filled it with cranberry sauce and the whole meal was ruined

  • Noooo

  • Not at all

  • Definitely a white Christmas with a lot of stockings stuffers.

    • How about you?

    • Oh ya I definitely got my stocking filled 😂 And you could say the meat was left in for quite a while haha

    • Very nice. My candy cane got a lot of attention.

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