Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I read a particularly painful mytake today from a 19 year old self declared male virgin asking the community to stop making fun of him. When i asked what he actually does to get laid i didn't get a response. it could be he was busy and didn't see that particular opinion or that my tone turned him off but it seems equally likely that he just didn't want to respond.
The problem with a lot of males on here is that they want it to be perfect and they don't want to face the reality of dating for men. They want to go out say something to a girl her to think him charming or some other crap and they kiss and then eventually date and then eventually have sex. Maybe that happens if you're 15. But this idea of going out and striking gold the first time by meeting the right girl with the right amount of confidence is just not realistic.
-You don't need a vision of being good with girls but you need hope
Hope is what pushes you forward even without a concrete understanding of what success in this field looks like. You have to think its possible even if unlikely. as you move forward you will actually BELIEVE it and if you have some luck you may even become delusional about how good you are. but it starts with hope that its not impossible.
-You will suck or struggle at some point
you might have beginners luck in some ways or you may be good looking or funny or something that makes girls not give you the hard get away from me rejection but you do and will suck. you will either be too much or too boring you just won't know what you're doing really and also some girls will never ever ever like you and just as fast as it took them to reject you will it take you to forget them
-don't be hard on yourself because 90% of guys don't have any balls when it comes to meeting girls
honestly from what I've seen the vast majority of guys meet girls through friends. Even at parties i hardly see a sober guy walk up to a girl in a normal way. its a tough thing to put yourself out there and whether the girl sees the effort and vulnerability and bravery or not you should be proud even if you fail.
-stop doing anti social things
stop reading pick up lines or asking guys what they do to get some or try to get girls to pity you and have sex. a lot of it is as simple as stop doing little anti social stuff you do. these include
-listening to music while you're out
-watching porn daily
-going out without showering/ grooming
-ignoring others to the point of rudeness
-looking at your phone while you talk to someone/ not making eye contact
-stop beating up on yourself for not sex
a lot of male insecurity i think arises from thinking about how much some other guys get a ton of sex. in my experience some guys get a TON of sex and most guys get it less than they would like. i think if we had the stats to prove it the amount of girls who sleep with the same guy as other girls would be astoundingly high. i say this to say, there's plenty of guys who suck who pretend like they're much better than they are
What Girls & Guys Said
0 2Aye. I get what you're saying bud, but some guys are just genuinely fucked. Whether that because of how they look, their wealth. Etc etc. Some guys have it. Some don't.
My analysis:
-Stop doing anti-social things - Most shy guys are introverts, therefore - anti social by nature.
-Listening to music while you're out - I don't do that.
-Watching porn daily - I never watch porn.
-Going out without showering/ grooming - I usually take a bath instead of showers.
-Ignoring others to the point of rudeness - I don't ignore others unless I dislike them.
-Looking at your phone while you talk to someone/ not making eye contact - I actually hate cell phones.
-Stop beating up on yourself for not having sex - It's a bit difficult not to beat yourself up when you're a virgin in your late 30s :(
Shyness is a bad response to anxiety, introversion a preference. Introverts can be outgoing in social situations, and most shy people are extroverts.
@0112358 I've never met a shy extrovert, all of the shy people I know are introverts, just like me, and it's not a "preference", it's just the way I am, I can't change that. Besides that, I'm shy even when I'm not feeling anxiety. I know outgoing introverts exist, but they are quite rare, most outgoing people are extroverts.
It's true that most outgoing people are extroverts. I do know a few introverts who can work a room or party. They find it tiring but they can do it. Most people are shy extroverts. They like groups but feel shy in them. But they would love to be popular and in a group and everyone liking them. Where introverts would rather be alone even when everyone thinks they are awesome. Anyway a lot of introverts who are shy don't ever get over it and part of it is a lack of motivation. But sometimes it's easier for introverts because they are better at not caring what others think.
@0112358 Yep, introverts can work a room of party if they work as a DJ ;) Well, if all the people in a group were shy, then they wouldn't be able to talk to each other, how would they meet each other, how would they even form a group, what would they have, some sort of silent groups? Shy people lack initiative, even to start a conversation. That's why the leaders of various groups are always extroverts who are not shy. As an introvert who is very shy, I don't care what other people think, but still, I'm a virgin in my late 30s, so I don't really feel good about it.