Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
A week ago I ended up the relationship of more than three years we had with my girlfriend. It was hard to do that. I tried many things before deciding that and it took me a lot to come to terms with that. She is totally sad, and is hurt because the reason is I can't get over her past sexual life. I won't go into details here because I found out that writing about this subject helps me. But going into details is too hurtful now. I prefer talking more in general (I worte a question about this if you are courious). The point is frmo now on only virgins allowed.
I started having thoughts about her past more than a year and a half ago. A year ago I started looking for help in many ways. Nothing helped me to fully solve this. Some things were better than others. By then I started reading a lot about this problem sometimes called retroactive jealousy. And I've seen some really false statements there like the one I'd like to mention now: "You have to accept your girlfriend just like she is".
No, you don't.
Don't let the twist your mind or otherwise torture you with false commandments. I've read hundred of times people telling a guy that he have to accept the fact that his girlfriend has been with others. Where that comes from? I understand that sometimes the guy knew the girl wasn't a virgin when he met her. And then he can't complain about this because he was warned. But yet, he is in his right to choose the girl he wants. No one else is entitled to tell him which characteristics of this girl are those he can use to choos her or not.
I co-worker girl I know told me once "I'd never date a guy who hates smokes". And I found it totally rational because she smoked a lot. I heard a guy on the TV years ago saying he would never date a girl who didn't want to have sex in the first date. Weird as it could sound I guess we can say what is our criteria. It has to work for us, not for every one else. If I decided to only date virgins from now one. Who is going to stop me?
Yes, you can say I'll have a hard time finding a virgin girl. That's true but I have to try, right? Maybe it won't be a virgin really. I don't know for sure. It could be a girl with a conservative past which is willing to never tell me anything about it. Maybe it will be easier for me to accept her past now that I also have a past. But this is not only about me but about all those guys out there who a repeatedly told they have to accept their girlfriends even when the can't get over their past. You can try. But also you can drop it and get out from there. And go for something different.
What Girls & Guys Said
38 40You're right. You don't have to accept anything. If something is a deal breaker for you then it's a deal breaker. You don't HAVE to do shit.
That said of course it's also logical for people to disagree with you and express that. They have every right to do that too. I don't understand the whole "virgin girls only" thing, and think it's ridiculous but that's just my opinion. You do what you want to do, and I'll do what I want to do.
I know it's ok if others disagree with me. But I wrote this just to tell that I find it wrong when people say "You HAVE to accept...". Specially because I've read that so many times.
Well that's why I said the first part.
Go for whatever you think will make you happy. Girls will turn guys based on the number of dollars in their bank account or the number of inches they stand of the ground so I think its fine if you use number of sexual partners as a filter for who you want to date.
Only problem would be if you make a point to insult girls who dont meet your criteria by calling them sluts or if you lie by telling a girl you're a virgin when you're really not. So if your honest about your past and respectful when turning down girls who dont fit your criteria then I dont think there's anything wrong with your preference. Well other than the fact they are rare and you are significantly limiting your dating pool, but its your right to be as picky as you want.
Last thing is youd be better off if you dont specifically tell them you're looking for a virgin.
Insulting a girl when turning her down? That mindless. I know I can't start the first date by asking whether she's a virgin. But I can manage to know that soon enough I guess. People go on some dates and then they quit. That's normal, isn't it?
If you wanna date only virgin girls then you do you lol but it's gonna be hard to differentiate between who's a virgin and who's not, people lie about their notch count all the time. lmao
Yeah, sure. Maybe your boyfriend is lying about having a STD. Who knows. If she lies and holds that lie for ever, I'm OK with that.
1. Don't have a boyfriend 2. Condoms are your friend Also, if you're okay with her lying about being a virgin then wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose of finding a virgin girl?
"wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose of finding a virgin girl?" I think you're confusing the message from this text with my own story. If you read my first question I made here at GAG you'll probably understand my take and my story better.
uh ok
You are biological programmed to avoid promiscuous women due to fear of being duped into raising another man's offspring. You are right you cannot choose what you are attracted to. You have the right to be with or not be with whoever you want. Don't give in to the feminist shame you will most likely have heaped on you.
Simple really.
Accept it totally and honestly, or move on.
If you don't, the road is steep and slippery.
kap_nss you have probably done your former girlfriend a huge favour.
You have a twisted view of morality and little understanding of life.
Are you Western, or from a Third World culture such as Islam?
No virgins allowed?
May we suppose you're a virgin yourself thus?
yes it is your right to seek whatever type of relationship you want. i just dont even listen to women about this subject they just want to keep men used to the status que.
You sound like you were really envious of her.
But from what you wrote it sounds like your ex, was your first girlfriend. So it's actually really natural you'd feel jealous.
Why limit yourself like that?
Besides, you said you have a past too. What if a girl held your past against you?
Only thing that would matter to me is if the girl has an STD or kid, when considering sexual partners or relationships.
If I were a virgin I'd never date a terrible person like you who values a girl for nothing more than her genitals.
Am I a terrible person? I assume you dated every single guy who asked you out or was in any other way interested on you. Otherwise you are a terrible person too. Lol.
Yea, cause that is the same as dumping a girl because you find her inferior due to the state of her vagina.
You do not get it do you guy. You are treating women, girls, the female sex of ourselves, as property, as objects, as "Things". That is why they are offended by your statements. I agree with you that you can go afte whoever you want, but do not expect to be counted as obsolutely right for why you are doing it by the People. You will always be brought down, not just by Women, by Men as well.
Why does it matter if a girl is a virgin or not?
If she's been with other guys it means she's experienced and you could have a lot more fun. With a virgin you have to worry about her becoming really clingy and not hurting her since it's her first time. She would also be a lot more insecure than an experienced girl.
That's not true. Experience doesn't mean better, and being a virgin doesn't mean you'll be clingy. Also, just because she's a virgin doesn't mean you'd hurt her but with any female you should make sure you aren't hurting them... unless they are into that kind of thing.
I totally agree with Joc4Position in what he told you. It matters because you decide what matters about your girlfriend. Is it ok to choose a girl based on her hair color but not her sexual life?
Are you really that insecure about your own performance?
You didn't reply my question.
It's ridiculous and archaic that's what it is. Now answer mine
You don't answer because doing so you would have to accept that you are cool with way more superfluos criteria for choosing a girl. Of course your position doesn't make sense. An otherwise perfect girl is turned down because her looks, and you are ok with it. An otherwise perfect girl is turned down because her sexual past, and that's archaic. :)
Obviously both looks and personality matter I don't get what you're rambling on about. The whole idea of "she needs to be a virgin" shows that you have some sort of insecurity since you're comparing yourself to her past partners.
The point is a guy has the right to choose his girlfriend following whatever criteria he thinks fit, without being insulted in the process.
That doesn't answer my question. What is the reasoning behind this decision? If you have a belief then you must be able to back it up.
You didn't make a question, lol.
My question was: Why does it matter if a girl is a virgin or not? It was literally the first line I wrote. You are dodging the question.
hahaha you wrote that one day ago! It matters because of what I explained in my very first question I did here at GAG. I referred to that question in this take. And if you read it you'll find out why does it matters to me.
Can you provide a link to this question?
Let's see... www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1886854-how-to-forget-all-the-things-she-said
So you met a girl that had a bit of a wild side and you couldn't match her expectations since she's been with guys that were significantly better then you. The problem wasn't just your insecurity and experience gap but a lack of sexual compatibility. She had different tastes then you so it would have never worked out. Now the problem lies with you using this negative experience as a tool to judge all your future sexual relationships. You didn't like that she was vocal about her past experiences so you decided to look for the opposite extreme. One that wouldn't have any to brag about. You didn't like that she was setting high expectations for you, so you decided that by being someone's first you would be the best they ever had since they'd have nothing to compare it to. That way you would set the boundaries of what was acceptable in the bedroom and since the girl wouldn't know any better she'd play along.
The ell this is why you should follow the "don't ask and don't tell" policy..
What's post if post it can not be changed... And you should keep it in the past..
But you do have a right to have a partner who is near your number of sex partners...
Or if you are a virgin then date a virgin
Or just get over get past or just don't ask and don't tell..
Do whatever your want...
Good luck finding a virgin
Seriously. Good luck finding one
no one has the right to tell you you are wrong to want to date only virgins. And only sluts judge guys who prefer virgins. And I think you are smart enough no to care about sluts' judging
@imanf7 Did you not know that sluts are shit to me and their opinions are shit as well?
So , you are okay with the whole sex after marriage thing?
If not then you are hypocrite. in the sense you want a virgin but wouldn't want then to be a virgin just because they are in relationship with you. That would be pretty selfish.
No, I'm not. Actually the opposite. I realize having waited like I did was a huge mistake. I know that is my fault. But I couldn't change that.
Good luck finding virgins when you get older!
Im a virgin and if i dated a guy that had a huge list of exs i could see where u r coming from but if he had a short one it wouldn't bother me.
you knew from the start that she was not a virgin, but you went with her anyways, the thing of the matter is that, you thought that you could look past the fact that she was not a virgin, because you liked her right, but the thing with some guys is that when it comes to having sex with their girl they would like to be their first, which in most cases you would not be, so its on you... in any case you have the right to break up with her but you should not have kind of wasted her time if you kind of knew that you have those feeling.
At first I didn't knew if she was or not a virgin. Before we had sex for the first time I knew she wasn't. But at that time I couldn't know what was going to happen to me a year and a half later. :/
oh ok... in other words, for next time do you want your girl to be a virgin or not
I think I explained that at the end of my take.
Yes another Logical person in the midst. woohoo!! well played.
Actually many women can be virgins at a young age, and not have hymens that close the vagina up enough for you to know if she is a virgin. You can still have sex for the first time, and no blood, and no discomfort. You need to brush up on your human anatomy, if you think you will find a virgin who has to bleed, or feel discomfort the first time you penetrate her, or you will have many virgins being "USED" by you.
Your dick is too tiny, we get it.