Opinion on a nonmonagamous relationship?

I have been in a relationship with a girl for about a month. We definitely aren't living together and just have sex a few times a week. We're still getting to know each other so I don't want to do anything right now.

I asked to use her phone when mine died and I started to type in where and the phone showed a recent search that said 'why do i love huge cocks so much'.

I'm average and our sex life is good. I don't get off on humiliation so I wouldn't want her to make fun of me and be her cuck.

That being said I have always been turned on by a female sexual partner being able to have sex with whoever she wants. It's more that she can have different sexual experiences and experience pleasure.

I would never pressure a girl into this. It would only be if she was down 100%.

So the question I have is should I bring this up down the road. Not her search but my fantasy and see if she would like it?

I'm also happy being monagamous. But I've never done this before and don't know what problems it could cause.

Any males or females with experience in nonmonagamy are welcome to post. I wouldn't want to do this without doing my research.

0 1

Superb Opinion

  • No, and I will tell you why you shouldn't bring this up. You risk her being extremely offended, to the point of breaking up with you over your fantasy. She will also feel devalued. I would.

    If my partner every even hinted at such a thing, I would show him the door. He is basically telling me that he doesn't value our intimacy. By accepting such an offer to sleep around, I am saying the same to him as well.

    Intimacy in a relationship is supposed to be one of the few things that only you and her share. If you give that away, what is left? Not to mention the health or pregnancy risks you are both putting yourself in.

    No birth control is 100% effective, so that isn't even an argument. What are you going to think when your girlfriend brings back an STI or something from her escapades of sleeping around?

    The biggest thing here though is the risk of ruining the relationship altogether just by suggesting you are "cool" with it. She might take that as "he is saying this because he wants to sleep around (or is already)". Dangerous game you are playing.

    • I tend to agree with you and prefer monogamy, but not everyone feels the same way. I've had a few GFs who wanted to have sexual experiences with me and other men at the same time. Not everyone is offended by this.

    • @rudedevon Right, not everyone is offended. What if she is was my point...

    • Isn't it fairly normal to talk about sex with someone you're in a sexual relationship with? They could have the same desires and never find out if they don't say anything

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm not going to speak to the specifics of your situation, because there are a million things I don't know and I don't want to mislead you. Regarding non-monogamous relationships in general, I think that they are a bad idea, but I also think women are overall way more accepting of the idea of sharing their partners than men are. And just to be clear; I'm not saying very many women would prefer to share. I'm saying that women are more likely than men to be able to get what they need from their partners without monogamy.

    Men and women fundamentally value different things in their partners, and it makes sense that a woman would be more likely to share her man because you make a woman feel tremendously emotionally secure in a relationship without being monogamous to her, as long as she feels a sense of respect and control. That respect and control is crucially important.

    You never want to be in a situation where someone suddenly wants to open a relationship up because that's a departure from the reasonable expectations from before. Her approach to her relationship with you was based on a fundamental assumption of monogamy. When you change that element, she no longer feels secure because she was pursuing a different relationship than the one she was really in.

    Does that make sense?

  • I personally like being monogamous. My girlfriend and I are getting married and we are a great pair. That being said, we have tested out some adventurous stuff such as a threesome with a friend where the 3 of us had sex with each other a number of times. It’s not an open relationship, more of a closed throuple scenario. We enjoy the adventure but know we don’t want an open relationship and know our threesomes aren’t continuing forever.

    so… your case is a bit different it seems…get to know her more and talk about sex first, but I wouldn’t just spring that question on her out of the blue

Most Helpful Girl

  • Absolutely ideal for me. Few men are up for it though.

    • Is this where it would be an open relationship? Also if you don’t mind I’d like to chat privately you but can’t cause I’m not level to yet

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 6
  • Monogamy is the way to go. Why would you want to risk STD or deal with detached body counters and porn lovers when one can work out fantasies and skill set development with another that focuses upon you solely. It is the ultimate Experiential Design as the other person's pleasure is a clear indicator and predictor of your current and future Ability-to-Please.

  • If you turn on by her being a ho then you are a cuck.

  • OP, did you mention the search term on her phone? Would have been the perfect opportunity to talk about sexual desires

  • Not everyone is emotionally mature enough to handle it.

  • it's not for everyone

  • Yes I let my girlfriend have sex with who ever she wants