Porn/intimacy issues?

So my husband won't stop watching porn.

I found out that he watches it as soon as I go to sleep or as soon as I leave the house.

I always ask to have sex or try to seduce him (touch him, wear lingerie or dress up) and he refuses everytime because he's "not in the mood".

Kinda makes me feel insecure and like I'm not enough anymore even though we've only been married 1 year.

When I asked him why and tried to communicate my feelings, he said "im not gunna stop watching, stop being annoying about it because it's either I watch porn or cheat".

Am I doing something wrong here? Is he the issue?
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Superb Opinion

  • Do you try things he want to or you the type to just lay on her back?

    Sometimes we just aren't in the mood, then we do a half-assed job so we don't have to put up with your bad mood if we had said no, then you still sulk cause you can tell we weren't in the mood, so we just can't win.

    You aren't telling us something, if he said it's porn or cheating he's clearly got somekind of problem with you, and im sure you have an idea of what but you won't be honest with us, you're just painting him as the bad guy.

    • I bought a damn school girl outfit and roleplayed like a "naughty girl" for him and I am active during sex. He just says he's not bothered all the time or not in the mood. No matter what lingerie set I put on, he's not in the mood. As soon as I sleep, he's suddenly in the mood and jumps up to the moisturiser. He closes his eyes or shoves his head into my neck while we have sex and its just one constant move until HE cums then he's off. And no I never sulk after we have sex regardless if I cum or not. Which is quite rare because HE doesn't want to do more than pump pump done. He won't even pay attention to me wanting to finish and says use the vibrator if I need to.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually men who set out to cheat end up disappointed. You could call his bluff.

    But in any case it's obvious he is self absorbed and it will only get worse. Maybe you could ask him what the appeal is and bluntly state likely suggestions to see if he'll admit to it. Typically, men watch porn for behavior so, for example, if he's watching mostly blowjob porn chances are he wants more blowjobs.

    • He watches anal a lot but definitely not happening lol. But the reasoning he gives me is its quicker and easier than trying to turn me on. I'm actually easy to turn on cos I'm really attracted to him so that's a stupid excuse

    • Sounds like he just wants anal. You should call his bluff, in my opinion, as he will find he won't get it by cheating either.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He needs some help. Like, therapy help.

    He also needs to learn to listen to you, and care about your feelings.

    Frankly, I don't think he's worth your time. He clearly prefers porn to actual sex, and he is refusing to communicate.

    Cut your losses. Throw the whole boyfriend out.

    Unless you think he's worth the trouble, then get yourselves into couple's therapy.

    • Wish it was a boyfriend. We're married

    • Divorce. It's never too late. Get out.

    • @smoke-n-growls hard one but right one.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 9
  • It is not your fault at all. It will not get better either unless he stops or goes to counseling. Does he jerk off when he watches the porn? Are you two having any sex at all?

    • Yes he jerks off. We have sex MAYBE once or twice a month at most. Only after I ask a billion times or he's finally "in the mood" for it.

    • I would dump him you can do better.

  • Point addiction is a terrible mental disease just like alcoholism is. He has a problem and needs professional help.

  • It's like dating a drug addict. You can either sit there watching them nod off and criticize them or you can do drugs.

  • Need to see councillor, if work than fine, not than get divorce.

  • He is the issue, but not exactly in the way you think. Most guys watch porn. Heck I do. The difference is, I prefer sex over porn. He doesn't, or so it seems. That's a problem. It seems odd that he won't have sex, and if he can't watch porn he'll cheat. It's like he wants to cum, but not with you. That confuses me.

  • Wow what an asswhole

  • He doing wrong here, time to be serious and talk about it.

    • Any tips on how to communicate with a narcissistic gaslighting husband that gets very defensive?

    • you must be regretting now! sad for you.

    • join me, better talk private, may be some of my words help you, i would try.

  • Porn and sex are NOT related.
    Just like female fantasy and sex are not related.

    What you are doing wrong is nagging.
    We do not shame you for your fantasy, stop shaming him for his.

    The only issue with him is him saying he would cheat. If he wants to fuck other women but not you, then there is something wrong. Did you put on weight?

  • Why did you guys get married? Was it different before you got married? Porn is supposed to be for guys who can't gfs or have wives that don't want sex

    • We used to always have sex before marriage. Like everywhere we could.