Posh wank or cheating?

[Suspiciousmind]

Hi everyone I'm in need of some advice about my fiance of 3 years.
Yesterday when I was clearing out the kitchen i went outside to the dustbin and found 2 used condoms. I immediately confronted my fiance about this and he said he had had a posh wank. When I asked him how many times he said once but then I mentioned there was 2 condoms and then he changed it to twice. I don't go out often but the night before I went out with friends for a few hours. I have never known him to have a posh wank before. However 2 days before we somehow got onto the subject of wanking and he had mentioned that he had done it a few days ago. We are also trying for a baby atm and I am fertile this coming week so he says he did it partially to increase his sperm count. Also I know he doesn't sleep well at night (he often wakes up around 4am for a while) and he said he decided to have a posh wank on two separate occasions to help him sleep. He really doesn't seem like the cheating type, he seems very loyal to me and always does anything he can to make me happier. He barely goes out so he can spend more time with me or rushes home from work so we have more time together. He has said he wouldn't be able to face me if he ever did cheat.
As a person I don't think he would do it but I think the evidence looks incriminating.
Please help?

[Anonymous]

Assuming this story is true (and my god does it smack of bull) jerking off doesn't increase your sperm count. It would make chances of fertilisation lower. Any grade school graduate should know this, it's so basic.

In the scenario (fictitious as it sounds) that you've described, he is obviously cheating. Obviously obviously.

You'd never convince me this story is true though.

[Suspiciousmind]

What about it makes you so sure he's cheating?

[sian_pt4]

actually, you're encouraged to ejaculate every couple of days to stimulate new sperm being produced, otherwise you essentially have "stale" sperm stored up which is no good for fertilisation.

[Criptic]

I think he's right either that or he's the biggest idiot alive to get rid of condoms like that. From what you say you're right he doesn't​ seem like the cheating type.

[Suspiciousmind]

I very rarely take the bin out so I don't know if he was banking on that...

[Criptic]

Yet it's still a risk. I still doubt it. Don't get me wrong I think it's weird but I don't think he is the cheating sort of he rushed home to spend time with you.

[Suspiciousmind]

That's why I am questioning it, maybe I need to give him more credit

[Wonderer89]

Only you can know your partner, but if condoms are the only reason you suspect cheating and he had an explanation (without stuttering as though guilty) for it then I'd be inclined to believe him

[Suspiciousmind]

He has been working late for the past month a lot too but he does have a major deadline coming up this week so I don't know what to think. True no stuttering but he did change the number of times he posh wanted from one to two

[Wonderer89]

It's kind of awkward to go into detail about our masturbatory habits with our partner. I'd be wary for anything in the next few weeks but I wouldn't assume it's cheating if nothing else points to that

[Suspiciousmind]

Well there have been a few other things. We went to get shopping yesterday (I stayed in the car) and he came back to the car after a few mins because of a girl he had seen. He told me this and said it's a girl that use to sext him and he didn't want to bump into her. I'm concerned it was her he has cheated with and he was afraid she would come and tell me everything

[Wonderer89]

I think he's have to be an idiot to tell you about seeing her if he was sleeping with her, would have been better off lying if that were the case. Really though; I'm a big fan of trusting your gut. If you feel like something isn't quite right then I'd stop trying for a baby for now until you've sorted it out. Either keep a really close eye on what's going on or (and this would be my choice) just lay it all out to him. Explain how you're feeling and why, and just see what he says. Ask to see his phone if you need to (not snooping, ask him) and deal with it together

[Suspiciousmind]

He's very smart so I don't know if he's told me that to make me not suspect her at all? That's a good idea I will talk to him about it when he gets home from work. Thank you for the support it means a lot

[zombiebabe]

I don't know there's something weird about what he said

[Suspiciousmind]

That's what I thoughthink and how he went from one time to twice

[wankiam]

yeah i think he was just playing with himself and is maybe a little embarrased

[Suspiciousmind]

That is what he said was the reason why

[wankiam]

its most likely so dont worry... personally i think you should make him feel more comfortable about sharing his wanking habits. it can make a relationship much stronger

[Suspiciousmind]

Well that's the thing I have always told him I don't mind him wanking or watching porn and I think it can help a relationship, so I'm not sure why he would be embarrassed

[wankiam]

telling him and actually sharing are two different things though so i kinda get that he is still hesitant. i mean i wouldn't hide a thing but at 50 im happy being who i am but i would guess he still feels some shame

[Suspiciousmind]

That's good advice I will take it on board, I don't want him to feel embarrassed about anything and want him to feel he can talk to me about things

[wankiam]

thats good and hope you work it out ;)

[Tezzy69]

Could be just an innocent thing, guys have funny way of pleasuring themselves. Until you can concrete evidence, just carry on as is. x

[Suspiciousmind]

I have read other people's posts about posh wanking and they seem pretty sure the persons partner is cheating. It's reassuring that you all think it's innocent but I'm wondering why? Thank you all for the responses it's so helpful I don't really have anyone else I can talk to about this x

[Tezzy69]

You are most welcome. x

[Suspiciousmind]

What would you class as concrete evidence? I'm afraid to carry on as is and find out later down the line when pregnant x