Post-Wedding Night Blues: 3 Mistakes and a Happy Ending

Post wedding night blues

I soooo looked forward to my wedding. I know it's overly cliche but I dreamed of it since I was little.

Planning the wedding was fun but stressful and tiring. When my wedding day arrived I was glad on many levels, not the least of which was I could finally experience the event instead of obsessing over every friggin detail with my wedding planner, mother, maid of honor, and anyone else interested!


It started at five on a Saturday night and ended before 6:30. After pictures we joined the reception sometime after seven to a standing ovation, and a line already formed to meet/greet us. They ushered my husband and I out sometime after nine and we didn't speak to everyone, there were just too many there.

Driving in the car afterwards I let out a long sigh. It was a blast but OMG it was exhausting. I stood in heels for over five hours , taking into account pictures taken before the ceremony, and I rarely wear heels. Eight months of tension and stress and anxiety has a way of building up on you. I was tired!

And I was expected to be a sex goddess in roughly ten minutes.

And thus began the honeymoon that was suppose to be for the record books but really was a comedy of mishaps.

MISTAKE #1 - I chose to spend my first night as a married woman at our apartment instead of a hotel room.


My husband really pushed for a hotel, in fact the only two things he wanted in the wedding were the room and a chocolate wedding cake. He got the cake. Hey I like chocolate!

Post-Wedding Night Blues: 3 Mistakes and a Happy Ending

But for some reason that made lots of sense to me then but absolutely none to me now, I demanded my first night as a bride be in my own bed. I wanted my first time as Mrs. Smith (not my real last name) to be in my own bed , not some fancy hotel, but in a familiar place surrounded by familiar scents and a familiar bathroom to pee in with my familiar Keurig making my coffee in the AM.

Hubby finally backed off from what he wanted, telling me all he really wants is me. (Collective "awwww" from the ladies).


Problem was when we came home, it was just that - home. It didn't feel like a honeymoon, it felt like just another night. It felt like a Tuesday and I needed to go to yoga. It felt like Friday and he would cook a surprise dish for me like he does most Friday's. It felt like - familiar. It didn't feel like an adventure , or mysterious, or "rip this dress off of me and do crazy things to me you'd never do at home" because we WERE at home! The jolt of energy I needed from that excitement never came.


I was worn out and way too tired for sex. Which was another issue.

MISTAKE #2 - I cut my husband off for a month to make our wedding night more special.


I had read somewhere that to make your wedding night even better, you should abstain from sex a week every year you were together sexually. We'd been together four years, so I told him I didn't want to have sex for four weeks. That was NOT a pleasant conversation. He was not on board with this at all. He countered with four days, maybe a week, but four weeks? I think he was about ready to call off the wedding he was so mad.


But I turned on the water works and told him this was my wedding and blah blah blah. He finally relented, saying this will be my only wedding so he wants it to be perfect for me and if this is what I really want he can find a way to manage somehow.


Now on my wedding night I was too tired to put out. I dreaded him coming to me and me saying no. But something interesting happened.

He was too tired to.

Oh I'm sure if I had stripped of my dress and shown him what I was wearing underneath he would have found a way to do me, but he was really at the point of exhaustion too.

So I had him help me take my dress off-keeping his eyes closed so I could show him my lingerie another day-and changed into pjs in the bathroom. We were both in bed by 10:30. On our wedding night. Not having sex. Plum tuckered out.

Post-Wedding Night Blues: 3 Mistakes and a Happy Ending

The next morning i wake up around 9ish. Feeling groggy and hungry. But mostly horny. Um, like really horny. He's still asleep but oh damn look at that morning wood. I start to unbutton my pjs, it wouldn't be the first time I jumped him while he slept. Four weeks without it hasn't been easy on me either and I always said he had the sexiest penis I'd ever seen and it looks better than ever right now. But then..

MISTAKE #3 - I backed off from screwing my husband and grabbed breakfast.


I never had dinner the night before, neither of us did. They packed us a to-go box but we were both too tired to eat. And now my stomach was screaming feed me. I let my stomach overrule my vagina and put on sweats, headed to McD for a quick biscuit . I would rather he be awake for this than just use him as a scratching post. Besides after we ate we had time for a romp before we had to head out on our honeymoon. I came back home...to find my father in law sitting in my living room talking to my hubby.


WTF???


Dad-in-law came over to grab hubby's tux and take it back to the rental store. Hubby had told him we'd be gone by 9, because we have a long drive ahead of us. Little did I know that dad-in-law thought that meant be at our apartment shortly after 9. I was ticked but mostly at myself. This all would have been avoided had I stayed at a hotel.

Post-Wedding Night Blues: 3 Mistakes and a Happy Ending

He leaves eventually but hubby is telling me we got to go, we are already running late. See we are honeymooning in the mountains and it's not only a long drive but he doesn't want to drive mountain rounds at night to find the cabin we rented. Makes sense, but can't we wait twenty minutes?

He asks me to shower with him, a quickie, and drops his pants to show his raging hard on. I've never liked shower sex but OMG I really needed that thing. So shower sex it is. And my first time as Mrs. Smith is in the shower getting clean and dirty at the same time. I want it to be different so instead of pressing me up against the shower door or (my favorite) lifting and holding me up against the shower wall, this time we position the shower head to stream straight at my clit as he takes me from behind. DAMN my orgasm is so intense I can barely breathe afterwards. We both get there quickly because - hey four weeks right? It's also the first sex I have without a condom.

Hey I'm married now, let the chips fall where they may.

Post-Wedding Night Blues: 3 Mistakes and a Happy Ending
3 3

Most Helpful Guy

  • In my head I was just screaming. I really never understand women.
    why stop having sex if you were already having sex? That really means nothing. I can understand a few days before if you just want to build anticipation. but anything more then a week is just nonsense. and it is just going to make the guy finish really fast. Women never seem to take that into account.
    The issue with being too tired I certainly can understand. Although it sounds like you had a really early wedding reception. I was up at 7am to drive out to the airport to rent a car (cadillac). Then came home and grabbed a nap. We had a 4pm wedding, pictures after, then reception from 6pm until 1:30am.
    we left about 1:45am as we waited for all guests to leave (except our parents). had to stop at her parents to pick up her clothes, went to my house. we opened all the envelops and presents as we had to get the money together for my mom to deposit for us and to have spending money on the Cruise we were going on. We got married on Labor Day weekend, so there was a holiday on that Monday. We my wife got a couple hours sleep while I took care of the paperwork and cleaning up a bit. Then we left at 5am as we had a 7am slight to Puerto Rico. it is about 50 min to the Detroit Metro Airport. That was back when you could walk to the gates to wait for people.
    could not sleep on the plane, I never can. we got on the ship which was huge. At that time it was the largest in the Carribean. we decided to take a nap. Nope, the porter walked into our room. guess he thought we weren't there yet. We both were too geeked to sleep. so we got up. we both didn't sleep until about 1am the next morning. I was up that whole time, she only had a couple hours sleep. we actually didn't have sex until our first day at sea. which was 2 days after our wedding.

    • Sounds like a fun wedding! I admit waiting that long was a mistake. I was stressed and tired and not in the best position to make quality decisions, and my husband let me have my way because it was "my" wedding and like most guys he just wanted to know where it was and when to show up (except for hotel and cake like I discussed). If I had to do it over again I'd change a LOT.

    • most people realize that once they have been through it. I would tell my boys to elope. and if I had to do it again, it will be a short quick ceremony. never a church again and never a big reception. Vegas baby... yaaaaa

Most Helpful Girl

  • If yr house isn't a place where you are eager and excited about fucking, then you are doing life wrong.

    I mean, I hear you, to an extent. Too much routine tends to put our minds into a... routine state of mind.
    But, listen to what yr saying! Yr house is so un-sexy, to you, that you didn't even want to fuck there **on yr own wedding night**.
    If you are thinking like that, you're headed down a road where -- after a year or two -- you just won't want to fuck in yr house AT ALL anymore, most of the time. Basically, you'll almost be asexual, unless you are whisked away to some "destination" place.
    That happens... and it sucks.

    What you need to start doing, is "sexing up" yr house and the things that are in it.
    Do dirty stuff all over the place, with all sorts of things, and then constantly remind each other of what you've done in every room, and with every object, and so on. I mean, remind each other *relentlessly*. Comment on these things seductively when you're in the rooms together. Text him with pictures of random household objects you've "played" with, with a message like "remember what you did to me with this, big boy?" Etc.

    Basically, you should build yr house up with hot sexy associations, so that yr house becomes a place that puts you into a sexy mood. So that you actually WANT to fuck, when you're in yr house.

    This is something you should start doing TODAY.

    • No disrespect... maybe you should try to tone down the "know it all" attitude sometimes.. The take wasn't about how she should sex up her house.. it was just her experiences that she shared and I think it was a good read.. Again... no disrespect or offence.. I just felt like saying it.. 😊✌

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yeah I didn't get sex on my wedding night either, in fact he spent the night in our hotel room bathroom!!

    • Sorry! I avoided alcohol for fear of being too drunk to do the deed not that it mattered

    • lol me too :)

  • I have had a couple of big weddings and I understand the mistakes you made. Here are a few suggestions I have for young people planning weddings.

    1. Consider an early afternoon wedding. The earlier you are finished, the more likely it is that you will have some energy left for that wedding night romp.

    2. Delegate as much of the last minutes responsibilities as you possibly can. You should not be running around 2 hours before the wedding trying to buy 24 sets of salt and pepper shakers because your out-of-town caterer forgot them.

    3. Yes, it is your wedding and you can make every decision by yourself, but. . . A) someone who has gotten married before can offer you some suggestions that you probably would have never considered, and B) this is a good time for you to do some bonding with both mothers. Include them in some of the plans and you will score major points.

    • You have some wisdom there sir! I made the mistake - another big one - of not including my mother in law enough. She helped pick out my dress and was invoked in the scouting of reception venues but other details I left her out of. She admired to me later she wished she was involved more because she doesn't have a daughter and her son is an only son so this is her only wedding. Got to admit that hit me like a runaway train.

  • the traditional wedding night sexual escapade is kind of antiquated. it definitely stems from the time when couples typically didn't have sex prior to marriage and then their wedding night began trying to pro-create (so we are talking about 150+ years ago). Now with wedding festivities goign late into the night, and the long day preceeding it I don't know any friends who made their wedding night other than a night to sort of come down from the high of the day and get some good sleep.

    I know my wife and i didn't even bother thinking about sex. we were amped for our honeymoon in Italy and figured we'd get in all the newlywed sex then

  • This was a great myTake! I gotta admit I laughed at the Clooney tux pic!!! I don't think it's uncommon for couples to forgo sex on their wedding night due to exhaustion but I've never heard of anyone delaying sex for a McDonalds biscuit. That one goes in the archives.

    • Glad you liked it!

    • Don't do it. I been married for 4 years bla! Going insane

    • @Iloveasianfood1 Why? Not compatible?

  • I'm afraid most weddings go badly in some way. I'm remembering all sorts of time estimate errors ending up with my new bride and I driving late into the night to our honeymoon hotel - which turned out to be a dump - false advertising). Too tired for anything.

    We've been happily married for decades now - the wedding is just something to laugh about.

    Advice to people planning to get married: KEEP IT SIMPLE. Don't turn it into a months-long project management. Have the wedding early, and very close to where you are staying. Don't stress.

  • Very entertaining read. You had me the whole way. The sexual tension was through the roof. Well done!

    • Thanks! I appreciate you feedback!

  • :o interesting take

  • See ladies? Wedding is nothing but an irrational fantasy roleplaying and you usually lose common sense just because you've fantasised it since you're a little girl.

  • Very nice mytake.. you shared your experiences/mistakes in a humorous way.. and the sexual tension made it more enjoyable.. 😄😄

  • you want an honest opinion? you sound selfish

  • Don’t feel bad. At least it wasn’t as bad as mine. Our wedding night my wife thought she was wet enough. I was wearing a lube covered condom on my 6.2 inch long erect penis. I said are you sure? She said yes put your penis into my vagina! Well I got the head of my penis in and we’ll…. it was like a truck was scraping the inside walls of a tunnel. She was Nowhere near wet enough. She winced and said take it out. I did and I licked her clitoris to orgasm in hopes that would get her wet again. She said try it again. I put more lube on my condom covered penis and tried again - got a little further in and same thing happened as before. She was tired from her orgasm and told me to take my penis back out wincing as I did. I apologized and she insisted it was her fault. I kissed her and she apologized saying how tired she was and suggested that I go sit on the toilet and masturbate my penis. I took off the condom and threw it and the wrapper away in the trash. I masturbated and ejaculated into the toilet paper and flushed everything down the toilet. I washed my hands and got into bed beside my sleeping princess. I looked at my new wedding band smiling and went to sleep.

  • If I ever get married I won't let my wife wear heels at the wedding to avoid this.

  • Not that bad. My wife regrets our Wedding day because she spent months and months winding herself up and putting too pressure on herself, plus she had a no sex rule for two months before the wedding that left us both frustrated, created distance and prevented us both from blowing off steam. When the big day came my wife was so emotional that she sobbed all the way through the ceremony, wedding pictures and wedding dinner because she was so over emotional and as it turned out later she was pregnant at the time. Our first time as a married couple was in the hotel room where when we were checking in after the long drive to it, she took her wedding dress off to use the bathroom and freshen up, when I saw her in her bridal lingerie I had to have but unfortunately I came before we were able to have sex, then came a knock on the door that everyone was waiting so we had to go down, the evening do lasted all night and we didn't get to bed until five. Only when we got to our honeymoon suite in Barbados were we able to finally relax. I recommend anyonr getting hitchef with a big wedding to set aside time to relax and catch their breath. Also choose the venue beside the church as sometimes women will choose a church thats an hour or two from their home and then the venue might by four hours back in the opposite direction which is madness.

  • how ridiculous, i hope a woman can never trick me into marriage.