Pregnant w fuck buddy. How to tell him?

He's my closest friend. He says I'm tied in top 3. We've been having sex a lot recently. We have never used a condom. I have completely missed my period this month. I've tried pregnancy tests and they come up negative, but my mom has said that pregnancy tests didn't come out positive four her till after the 4th month which is the only reason she wound up w two kids. Other women in my family have said similar things. That blood tests didn't even come up positive till it was "too late" and I'm starting to get scared. I'm waiting till a test comes up positively, but it could be a while if that's the case. I had what I'm worried might have been morning sickness the past two days. And I'm nauseated now from typing that. IF it turns out it is positive... how do I tell him? How would you want to be told? We've talked about it before (the possibility) and he said that he wants to be told. That its not something he wants right now but that he would definitely want to not be a runaway dad if we ever got pregnant.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • 100% not true about pregnancy tests. Any test will register a week after your period was due, first response can register a positive 5 days before your period is due. They go based on the hcg hormone, which peaks at week 8-11 then starts to decline again.
    A blood test will register the actual amount of hcg pmol of blood and can detect single digit numbers. Waiting to find out until the 4th month is bull unless you’re relying on the baby kicking you to know you’re pregnant.

    And just tell him. Grow up, you chose to have sex continuously without a condom, this was ALWAYS going to be the outcome and is going to be the easiest problem you have to deal with over the next 18 years you’ve just committed yourself to

    • You're wrong on so many levels.

    • No, I’m simply educated. It’s not opinion, it’s science.

    • she's right on all levels actually

    • Show All
  • Sit him Down, No Frown, He wants to Know. And even So... He would have a Right to Know. Try and Work through it. No, He doesn't Sound like a Dead Beat Dad. xx

Most Helpful Guys

  • If I were you, I'd tell him before any positive tests come out, just so that he's more prepared for the outcome or that you have already talked it over when there isn't a for sure so to speak. Less tension I would think. But if he's of any intelligence, he shouldn't be surprised either since you guys decided to do it without the gloves on. He new and you new the consequences that could arise, so it really shouldn't be a surprise or a shit show when you tell him.

    • Except o have serious endometriosis. I was told a long time ago I would probably never get pregnant and if I do ill probably miscarry or still birth. So we were both under the impression protection wasn't necessary.

    • Still, and not taking away from your condition, it would be advisible to let him know what you are going through or possibilities, instead of him being in the dark, thinking whatever he is and then SURPRISE, your a father actually! I believe my sister had this and yeah she grew comfortable with the idea of never having kids. She has 2 dogs instead and she get's to see her niece/nephews regularly. But I'm sorry for what has happened to you. Also, are you going to go through with trying to have this child would be my second biggest thought if I were you.

    • Right but if I'm not I don't want so ruin our friendship nor how we are with telling him this when its just theoretical atm. Could be fatalistic to the sexual aspect of our friendship.

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  • Why would you not use condoms? Especially with a fwbs!

    You just have to tell him. There's no "way" to say it, just say it. You could say something like "you know how we've talked before about what if I got pregnant? well guess what?" lol It shouldn't come as a shock though.

    • We're really close and trust each other. We know neither has stds. And I have severe endometriosis so it was understood that it more than likely would never happen. Plus even if it has there's more than a 50%chance of still birth and more than an 80% chance of miscarriage. So I'm at the very least waiting to see if I miscarry before I say anything.

    • @asker *facepalm*

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 15
  • Sweetheart, I think you answered your own question. You wrote: "We've talked about it before (the possibility) and he said that he wants to be told." There it is.

    It may be that I am being a bit optimistic, but you seem to have met a guy who will take responsibility for his actions and who will cherish the gift you are giving him. I know because I have been there.

    First, let me add that, as a practical matter, if you can afford it, you should see a doctor and get your pregnancy confirmed. Your sickness could be morning sickness - or just nerves the more you think about this. Bottom line, there is no sense in upsetting yourself - and him - if there is no need.

    Having said all that, I can tell you that when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I was scared, I was shocked - even though given that we were so haphazard about protection I probably should not have been - and I was worried. I had never been a dad before after all. However, I will tell you, I was also wildly happy. It was the strangest combination of emotions I think I had ever felt.

    Then I realized that I was being given an incredible gift. Yup, I was going to have to step up to the plate, be a man, be a provider. Suddenly I had responsibilities that I had not imagined, but I knew that I was going to get that returned to me in ways that I could not anticipate. It was going to be hard, but it was a chance to know what it was like to be loved in a way that I had never been.

    Now, to be sure, my circumstances were different from yours. My girlfriend and I had been living together for a few years and we loved each other - we were not just friends. However, an unplanned pregnancy, even under those circumstances, was still a surprise and an unexpected responsibility.

    This I can also tell you. This was not my first experience with an unplanned pregnancy. A few years earlier I got a girl pregnant. In that case she told me, and then later had an abortion without asking me. I can't tell you how much that hurt me - and even still does to this day. I cannot help but think of the baby I should have protected and failed. It still haunts me.

    Happy ending, my girlfriend and I have lived together for 10 years and now have three children. I have never known such happiness. When she placed each of those little bundles in my arms, I cried, I was given the most beautiful gift.

    So tell him, and let hims step up to the plate. It will be hard - and despite it all, it can be the best thing that ever happened to both of you.

  • I would like to know in person. Just set up a meeting, in a quiet private space if possible, and talk about it calmly. If you have already talked about the possibility that's better. This is an issue that concerns you both and you have to solve it together. Good luck!

  • Call him, tell him you want to talk in person. Let him know, and know what your best intentions/plans are.

    Good luck.

  • Oh lord. Just tell him. This is a serious matter that you can’t mess about with so just tell him. I feel so bad for this kid that hasn’t even been born yet...
    wish the both of you beat of luck.

  • This should be no surprise to you, as you haven't been using a condom. Just simply tell him, the next time you see him. If it's not soon, then tell him you want to talk to him, right away. The easiest and simplest way, is to be direct, don't beat around the bush, and say "I'm pregnant", or "I think I'm pregnant." It should be not surprise to him, as he's been going bare.

  • Why not wait until you are 100% sure.

    • I am. I'm just trying to figure things out about how to say it if its real. I'm trying to kill the fear.

    • Well sadly seeing as you both "played with fire" so to speak, both of you must have already realised that there was at least a 50/50 chance of you becoming pregnant. Therefore I strongly suggest that should you get a totally positive result, preferably from a medical professional, you quite simply say to him "how do you feel about becoming a father"! I'm more than sure he'll get the message.

  • After you are absolute, just have sex with him and start calling daddy and when he tells you to stop just say no you are the daddy.

    • Hahahhahahhahaha

  • “I’m pregnant”

  • Just have to tell him the possibility, you are both adults. The sooner you get a plan going, the better.

  • Ouch... not something a guy wants to hear.
    If he didn't want to be father yet its odd he wouldn't use protection.

    There is nor ight way. And no idea how he's going to take it. So best option is simply to sit him down, look I want to talk to you about something urgent. And simply tell him everything. Just tell him asap.

  • That's quite a term to tell the baby one day, here's my F buddy he's your father

  • Go to a doctor and make sure you're pregnant.

  • LUCKY FUCKING BASTARD!!! I WISH I WAS HIM!!!

    • EVERYTIME LMAOO

    • @ausmaster i told you lmfao

    • I swear to god, I'm just going to follow you so I can see you in the most unexcepted of places xD

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  • He must know. You did this together. If he didn't understand the risks he would have used a condom.

  • If it turns out to be positive, tell him, honestly. Don't get overly emotional. Don't be cold.

  • Tell him your not positive yet but tell him he may be a dad

  • this is why you don't do friends with benefits

    ITS STUPID

    even if you were protected, you never know what could happen