Premature ejaculation?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 years. We have always had a healthy sex life. We would have sex at least three times a week. This past year we have only have sex maybe once or twice a month. I don't even know if I would call it sex, because he will cum almost instantly sometimes not even penetrating. Please any advice is welcome. I love him very much and want to help him the best way I can.

1 1

Superb Opinion

  • There are multiple causes for premature ejaculation and usually, it is not just one single cause but a combination of a number of them and among those causes are:

    Psychological causes
    Psychological factors that might play a role include:

    Early sexual experiences
    Sexual abuse
    Poor body image
    Depression
    Worrying about premature ejaculation
    Guilty feelings that can cause you to rush through sex

    Other factors that can play a role include:

    Erectile dysfunction. Being anxious about getting and keeping an erection might form a pattern of rushing to ejaculate. The pattern can be difficult to change.

    Anxiety. It's common for premature ejaculation and anxiety to occur together. The anxiety may be about sexual performance or related to other issues.

    Relationship problems. Relationship issues can contribute to premature ejaculation. This may be true if you've had sexual relationships with other partners in which premature ejaculation didn't happen often.

    Biological causes
    A number of biological factors might contribute to premature ejaculation. They may include:

    Irregular hormone levels
    Irregular levels of brain chemicals
    Swelling and infection of the prostate or urethra
    Inherited traits

    Stress and relationship problems. A common complication of premature ejaculation is relationship stress.

    Did anything in your relationship change in the past weeks/months or years?

    You should consult a specialist or counselor in order to try to solve your issue.

    all data courtesy of the Mayo Clinic.

    • Thank you

    • If you really want to help him, then convince him to seek help. This is a relatively common problem but also, it could be an indicator that there is an underlying health condition. Good luck.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He may just need to see a doctor about it. It could be a bunch of things all meshed in to one. A poor diet can not only destroy libido but also cause premature ejaculation. Foreplay helps sometimes but not always. Sometimes it actually makes it worse. Lack of exercise can also caused premature ejaculation. Too much caffeine, especially mountain dew or Dr pepper (per recent studies- not sure the accuracy). Lack of stimulation, stress, etc etc. The list truly goes on BUT it could also just be that he is aging and that sometimes happens. I think a trip to his doctor might help! Best of luck!

    • Thank you

Most Helpful Guys

  • Premature is defined as quicker than desired. There is no fixed time period. I guess most will say give him more sex if he is so excited that cums before he gets in. I presume this wasn't a problem when it was 3 times a week so worth trying.

    Could you be getting him too aroused with foreplay? There techniques with squeezing the tip of the penis r flicking it. Google and you will find. Worth learning this as it is good for edging, Good to try this in conjunction.

    There is always novacaine too.

    • Yes I will try that ty

  • First, I agree with the others who say see a doctor. This isn't necessarily a sex thing: all sorts of body functions can mess with ejaculating: thyroid is just one of many (I speak from experience).

    Second, have sex more often. Really. I've been there. It's counterintuitive but it works.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 2
  • Did he say somehting about it? Maybe he'd like to do it more often and can't wait for it

    • He said, " I'm not sure what's going on", embarrassingly, but hasn't really done anything to improve. He also gets very upset with himself. He said that he feels as if he has failed me. Keep n mind I have not made him feel bad about it. I have been 100% trying to support him, but I might come off as feeling neglected not meaning to, but I am trying. I told him we can do other things, we have but even that doesn't last or have the intamcy we usually have.

    • Maybe he should see a doctor, if he starts impacting you both

  • It may be the result of the long breaks between sex. Try two days in a row to see if he's the same on day two? He may need to speak to his doctor about it if there is no improvement.

    • Thank you I will try that

    • Also minimizing foreplay on him may help. Please feel free to PM if you wish.

  • How was his performance before?

    • He has his ups and downs. He could sometimes last long, but it would be satisfactory for me. He would make sure. This is very different because he not only cums to fast He is having sex less frequently. He would usually go again after cumming to fast before, but now he doesn't care, at least that is what it feels like.

  • Blow him first until he cums. Then if he's ready and hard again then you can have sex. I believe he will last

  • Give the whole man away

    • Lol thinking about that lately

  • I have never come across that problem, so I don't know. I would suggest he see a doctor to seek some advice.