Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
So it's not uncommon for women to have rape fantasies. Likely at least one woman you know has had one.
At the same time, many women fear rape in real life, and find the act horrible, even one of (or the) WORST things that can be done to a human.
So, why the fantasy?
Where did it come from?
Why do women have it so drastically more often than men?
And most importantly,
What can be done about it?
I first had something akin to this (as much as I could have at the time) when I was a young child. But I didn't realize until I was well into being a teenager that the fantasies I had were, basically, rape. Obviously, I was disturbed by my own imagination. Alas, I had no explanation for these thoughts.
It wasn't until I began figuring out my other complexes that I realized one of them might be connected-- in fact, directly related-- to the rape fantasy.
Innocence.
My whole life, I couldn't stand being guilty. I was mostly well behaved and hated to get in trouble, or even be perceived as guilty. This lead to a lot of anxiety in my early-mid teen years, and even now I am aware of those harmful thought processes lingering, trying to claw back into my mind.
Innocence is good.
Innocence is feminine.
Especially in the past, innocence was seen as a great virtue to women. Especially when it came to sex.
Now, we all know that women get horny. How would a woman channel that thought to something that relieves it, without compromising her innocence in her imagination? After all she doesn't want to be a slut, does she? But how? How can a woman have sex without wanting to have sex? To that, there's only one answer.
So, that's it?
Women have rape fantasies because of gender stereotypes and a social narrative that makes them feel it is a more attractive alternative to consensual sex? They have rape fantasies to preserve their self-image as "innocent," casting all the sexual indulgence and culpability on the man in the arrangement?
I don't know.
This is just a theory based on my own experience.
But because all these things do exist in the world, doesn't it seem possible? Maybe even probable?
Women, please consider and share your opinion.
But if this is the case
(Even if only for some)
what can we do about it?
You might ask "why do we need to do anything about it?" But let's take a step back. This is rape we're talking about. Even if we don't want to be raped for real, can you really say there isn't anything messed up in fantasizing about it?
How do you deal with any other unhealthy sexual thoughts or behaviors?
Nip it in the bud.
The "bud" here is a hangup-- an unconscious desperation for-- personal innocence in sexual activity, which is likely geared to preserve one's attractiveness, self-image, or both and more. How do you change these thoughts patterns?
1: recognize them.
2: correct them.
3: repeat.
When you catch yourself having a rape fantasy, remind yourself what rape actually is, and what it would actually be like. You know it is wrong. You just need to break the habit of romanticizing it.
Instead, actively channel your sexual thoughts (or actions) to consensual, equal-sided sex. Allow, even force yourself to take and active, autonomous role in your sexual activity. It is healthy and natural to want sex, and to actively engage in sex with a trusted partner.
It is not shameful to want sex.
You are not less desirable for wanting sex.
Take control and responsibility for your sexual desires. Actively steer them toward a healthy imagination and fantasies that you can exercise without indulging harmful thought patterns or desires.
Or maybe it's just me. Chow
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