Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
If you view scenes from porn as how you’ll expect sex to be in real life, prepare for a rude awakening. Well, rude depending on how seriously you and your partner prefer to go about monkey business.
1. LET'S NOT TAKE OURSELVES TOO SERIOUSLY, HERE...
In real-life life, there’s going to be a cacophony of various sounds from time to time. Be it ball-slapping or the girl’s juices making their presence known on each thrust, or the more dreaded potential for queefs (…not that there’s anything wrong with them in the first place). Believe it or not, but it’s also not unheard of for one or both partners to get an elbow/knee to the face during position changes. The latter of which often result in embarrassment for the female but
Porn? There’ll be occasional ball-slapping thrown in but other than that, it looks/sounds pretty picture-perfect overall. No bed-creaking or queef, in addition to which the guy’s dick will just know where to go. No time will be wasted poking around in search of that forbidden fruit..
All this soft touching is boring! Real grown-up women only have an orgasm by going from 0 to full penetration! Now fuck the shit out of me even though I am not properly lubricated and am also not that turned on by you personally, because that feels great!"
2. MONKEY BUSINESS WHEREVER YOU PLEASE
You’re at work, be it in the office or even doing construction work? Not a problem. Limitations are nonexistent in porn. Get as frisky as you place, and hell- maybe your boss will even join in.
Real life? You’ll get slapped with a charge for public indecency and more than likely lose your job.
3. LOVE-MAKING OR TORTURE CHAMBER?
It’s almost a guarantee that if anyone were to be in an apartment right next to where porn is being shot, they’d have pretty legitimate reasons to assume that someone’s being murdered in the room next door whatwith all the shrieking going on.
Sex in real life? A much quieter activity. In my own experience, the only sounds you might hear will be a little bit of dirty talk every so often. Occasional moans if they hit the spot just right, but not surpassing a volume so high that you’ll wonder if the neighbor’s heard.
4. PICTURE-PERFECT EVERY GODDAMN TIME
In porn, everyone seems primed and ready, physically speaking, at any particular time. End of the day and still at the office? Doesn’t matter that the porn-stars are supposedly caught in the middle of breakfast, or working on their morning coffee. In the land of porn, coffee-bloat doesn’t exist. Conveniently enough, the girl also got a bikini wax just last night.
"Women don't have hair anywhere except their head, and I guess their eyebrows! Also, we don't go to the bathroom, and when we cough, tiny fairies jump out of our mouths and toss glitter in your eye!"
Whereas in real life, you might be working with a 2+ day stubble down below in addition to dealing with a food baby masking your otherwise decently defined abs/waist. I remember that back in the day, after I’d first gotten with my boyfriend, I’d often even take a raincheck on sex till the next day as I hadn’t tended to any unwanted hair down below for longer than usual.
5. EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT'S UP
In porn, knowing how to give the perfect blowjob seems to be an innate skill possessed by all. Which includes making sure to hit all the right spots with full enthusiasm, and never leaving the family jewels feeling left out. Which is by all means, fine and of course true for some women (myself included.)
Let’s not forget, though, the amount of time spent finding out how to suck a dick just right. Whether that be browsing Yahoo! Answers, GaG, reddit, or… I don’t know, just asking your own boyfriend to give you a bit of guidance?
"Is this working? It seems like it is. Do I need to do something with the balls? I should maybe ask Yahoo! Answers, since they are clearly the authority on everything. Man, this is taking awhile. It will be awesome when I can breathe again."
6. HAPPY ENDINGS FOR EVERYONE
Another thing that you can almost guarantee to get in most porn clips is that each participant will reach orgasm. At least once.
Reaching the ‘finish line’ may be reality for some couples once in a while. However, if you base your expectations of what you’ll experience with your partner in real life off of that, prepare to be disappointed. Unlike in porn, your partner won’t always know what spot to hit at exactly the right time with just the right amount of pressure to get you to cum nearly instantly.
With real life comes stress, fatigue, and other such stressors that can oftentimes put a damper on funky time. In other words, he may be able to get it up or she’ll agree to go along with things for the benefit of the other. You may simply go through the motions or toe the line forever, without being able to go fully over the edge. One’s mental state plays a very large role in sexual pleasure, making the idea that sometimes, try as you might, it’s just not going to happen that night.
In short, the way sex is depicted to be like in porn differs quite a bit from how it generally goes down in real life. I wouldn’t say it’s any better, though. For me, the messy and not so graceful moments during sex can make the moment even more specific. Sure, porn can provide a sex session that’s seamlessly edited, no poking around. Getting straight to business, not having to worry about anything embarrassing or shame-inducing happening, while looking straight out of a movie.
However, to be able to have minimal concern about how you might get an accidental elbow to the stomach or wherever, with the occasional queef, and to follow that up with a kiss, knowing they’re yours?
That’s what I’d call true love.
What Girls & Guys Said
6 22it can get pretty close if guy is enough attractive looking
.. what?
Unless real life sex consists of a girl with a camera in front of her...
preach sista
They don't acknowledge the girl going through the pain from having rough sex. :P
If a person is a virgin, I think it is better that they be a bit ignorant and naive rather than filled with porn ideas about sex.
Interesting take.
I always wondered what was the difference between porn and sex in real life, and now I'm enlightened.