Sex life crisis?

Question

To start- YES I have communicated with him what I want.
I’ve been with 5 guys total. 4/5 of them I don't know how I got so lucky but I did and they really are who opened up my exploration of likes/dislikes in the bedroom.
I love rough sex. I want my hair pulled, I want to be choked, spanked, slapped, spit on, tied up, hand cuffed, throw around, etc. I want to be completely dominated.
my current partner sucks at this. And no matter how many times we talk about it he just falls short. Like he’ll start to pull my hair a little bit and then stops and that’s as “rough” as it gets. I kind of want to say I get off on my man inflicting pain on me during sex. And I just don’t know how to communicate with him to get him to understand.
He says he’s into all of that and then doesn’t do it. And because of that it makes it really hard for me to view him in a dominant position because I mean he just sucks at it. What do I do?

E_Z_Z · Accepted Answer

get a better boyfriend who can dominate you and give you the submissive feeling you need
I myself am a dominant and believe that dominance and submission are somethings that comes quite naturally and can't usually force it
it may be in someone that he's a dominant or a girl that she's a submissive but doesn't fully know it or understand it yet
like making a girl realize she's actually a submissive this usually can happen
but it's not very usual that a guy all of a sudden figures out he's that dominant type
any way it's just my opinion, good luck

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

Are these helpful?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Maybe you should start dominating him. If he doesn't fight back, that means he is naturally submissive, and you can't turn him into a dominant guy.

MrCommodore · Answer

He obviously isn't into that, and probably feels a bit weird or awkward trying it. But if you keep assuring him that you enjoy this, he will gradually get more comfortable and take it to the level you want.

Don't give up on him.

Berethor · Answer

BDSM crisis, technically you are the pervert here, not him, maybe he don't like the idea of hurting a girl. Don't get me wrong, being submissive is normal for a girl, but beside that BDSM stuff is not normal, also you break up with 4 other guys already, what make you stay with him?

triff · Answer

can't see how you think they were so how lucky you were im sorry but I think they were the lucky ones You look lovely

I-have-a-biscuit · Answer

Spank yourself

bowenw · Answer

If not being able to satisfy you is a deal breaker he either needs to improve or you have to find someone that gives you what you want.

magiusX26 · Answer

he probably likes it in porn but can't bring himself to actually do it himself. sorry but he is not a dom.

JC103 · Answer

Some men just don’t have it in them. It seems like he’s not experienced at all. You sound like a pain slut that likes to be degraded and used like a proper fuck toy.

Andres77 · Answer

But as long as he does this good...😉

thehorriblesheikh · Answer

Some people are just not dominant. They would try to be dominant for their partner but since they don't get any pleasure from it, they don't understand it.

I am not a dominant person, and I wouldn't know what to do in a situation like that, but I'd be open to the idea of allowing my partner to find someone else to satisfy their submissive desires, they deserve to be satisfied. When she's in the mood for some gentle sex then I will have sex with her. When she wants someone rough, she can bring in a different person at home for that. Perhaps, I would find some person to have fun with besides my girlfriend as well, or not. Whatever the both of us are comfortable with.

H3xaD3x · Answer

Maybe he loves you. Guus get rough with girls they respect less

jirwin7979 · Answer

to be honest he may be scared of truly hurting you i know i am an odd guy i wish to try being pegged by a women but gentle i am open minded but i can't no mater what cause pain to a women i understand the frustration tho i can't find a women no mater what that will be as open minded as i am

Smirnoff23 · Answer

Find a new man

B2281 · Answer

It's a shame he's not able to be on the same page as you.

LOGESHKUMAR · Answer

I think your partner doesn't like rough sex.. You can't force more into rough sex..

gandolph3 · Answer

i understand, i can be dominant, but have problems doing anything that i feel could hurt or harm my partner. he just does not have it in him. just be honest and kind to him and move on

Anonymous · Answer

Talk to him more about it. Really get his thoughts and feelings on it. Don't come at it as "I want this", but "how do you feel about this?" What are your personal thoughts? Because I don't think he's being honest with you. My guess is that he's not into it at all. He's saying he is because he doesn't want to disappoint you. Or, maybe it's a respect thing? Like he is into it, but because it's you, maybe it's hard for him to be like that with you? Only he can say, so you have to try and get him to open up about it. But if he's not into it, it would be extremely hard for him to "fake it". I'm not into that at all, so if it were me, I'd want to try to please her, but I know I couldn't because I'm not into it so much that it's actually a turn off for me. I'm wondering if it's the same for him? Maybe you're just finding out how different you two really are sexually?

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