Sex and the male ego?

Is it intimidating to let a guy know what to do in order to give you an orgasm? Do middle aged men or any man get their egos bruised if they can't get you off?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I have found that if that conversation occurs away from the sex, say over an intimate drink, that it's much better received. Rave about what he's doing now, ask for what you want, and rave about looking forward to trying it next time. Then if you need to do a little, repeat little coaching, you can probably safely do so. The important thing to remember is an axiom I got from John Gray's book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: the most important thing in the world to a man is to be appreciated. Can't hardly go overboard. We eat it up.

    • I agree they need to be appreciated and I think I didn't say anything about what he did well so maybe that's why he hasn't called. To me it's fun getting to that point. Getting to know each other's bodies is fantastic but I think he just wanted to automatically know and sorry but I don't think any guy can automatically know. Guys function one way. Girls are capable of so much sexually that no one guy could possibly please every woman the same

    • Thanks for the MHO. I'm guessing he's dominant in bed. If so, maybe you could "apologize" and offer your sweet booty to spank by way of a sacrificial apology. Set up a safe word first so you can kink and squirm and cry out no and stop and unless he hears the safe word, your ass is his. Just an idea. Sometimes challenging men is the best bait.

    • I will try that. Hoping he doesn't shy away from another go at it.

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  • I'd prefer she let me know so it's fun for both of us, if there is something she likes and tells me about, it would make me feel better in doing my job :)

    It would probably slightly hurt my ego up until the next time we had sex and then that would be gone because I know I can please her.

    • Why does it hurt your ego though? Do you expect yourself to be a mind reader and magically know what she likes? (Assuming she doesn't criticize you and just simply explains what she enjoys)

    • It would hurt my ego because all the times before, I thought I was doing good and now she tells me this, I would be a bit put down.

    • ohh, gotcha, you mean like if she let you go on for weeks doing it wrong and then told you. that makes sense.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've actually had this problem before!

    I always ask what my partner likes so I can give him the best experience possible... yet he looks crushed when he asks me and I tell him something besides whatever his first thought was.

    Frustrating.

    • YES!!! It's like they are disappointed!!!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No, that wouldn't bruise my ego. I want to make sure you receive the maximum amount of pleasure during sex, so if I'm not doing it right, tell me.

  • Men's egos and sex are usually pretty heavily intertwined. But I would rather you let me know what you like rather than have me flounder for weeks. That's worse of a bruise to the ego.

    • I didn't let him go weeks. Just a couple of times then he asked me. So I gave him a run down of what to do. He hasn't called me since. I wasn't trying to be mean. Just wanted to help him out

    • Maybe reach out to him and acknowledge that you hope you didn't bruise his ego, and do want to see him again.

  • If you want something during sex, say it, there's no need to keep your mouth shut.
    Sex is a thing of two, so if I don't give satisfaction to my partner, then I'll feel bad, I feel like I wasn't good, and that I didn't make her enjoy it as much as I did.
    It's not an ego thing.

  • I don't. You know your body better than anyone else.

  • No good communication helps a relationship if it is about sex or anything.