Sex! To do or not to do?

[Anonymous]

I am 25 and I haven't had sex. It's not like I have pledged that I won't, it's just something I have consciously decided to do with the one that deserves to see my vulnerable side.
It's not like I don't share my emotions or stories with the person I am dating and i would even say that sometimes I blabber into things that maybe i shouldn't be sharing but sex has just always been on the different floor when it comes to the vulnerability building.

Recently I have ventured on the masturbation side of things and it's honestly been quite disappointing, I don't think i have ever experienced an orgasm. I think its either bc i get too into my head about it, don't exactly know what or how an orgasm should feel/ would be like and has come to a point where now i am thinking of just hooking up with someone random who has a lot of experience just so i could know how i should be feeling down there.

But i feel like sex is such a trivial thing and how there is a chance that even after doing it in this manner i would not climax and that maybe as a girl i just need to have a deep emotional connect with the person i am doing it with to feel something more.

[abc3643]

About this:
"I have ventured on the masturbation side of things and it's honestly been quite disappointing, I don't think i have ever experienced an orgasm. I think its either bc i get too into my head about it"

Before masturbating, consider getting a bit drunk - not so drunk that you pass out, but drunk enough to get loose and less uptight like one is when sober.

This will do three things:
1) You will no longer "get too into my head about it".
2) Elevate your lust
3) Lower your inhibitions and expand your sexual imagination.

When masturbating, you think about something that turns you on. I assume you are straight, so some scenario involving a man or men... The alcohol will make you more receptive to porn or other "mental prompts" for masturbation and/or increase your own imagination to construct better fantasies.

Trust me - this works.

DO NOT have sex for the sake of having sex though. You will be disappointed. You need to be in the right frame of mind for that and should be with the right person at the right place and time.

If you have any questions, let me know. You can also PM me if you wish.

[Asker]

I'll give it a try. Thank you.

[abc3643]

After I wrote the above, I do have another idea that may help, but this is something that I think you'd want to discuss privately.

[Asker]

I still don't have enough points to message you.

[abc3643]

Follow me. Then I can message you.

[Robert_]

I have personally had an experience very similar to you. (except for the masturbation part)

I have absolutely no regret about meeting up with someone experienced just to lose my virginity.

If you want to talk about my experience I am very happy to talk to you about it in a private chat.

[Asker]

I wouldn't want to go too much into details but if you could just tell me whether that was the best you've had till now or would you say emotions had a completely different feel to it that is somewhat unmatched?

[Robert_]

I'll have to start by telling you that I have never had sex with a person I was in love with so I can't help you with that part of your puzzle. It was not the best sex I have had but it was one of the most exciting times. But I would say it didn't take away from the intimacy nor the pleasure. If it is lust, pleasure, arousal and intimacy you are after it can definitely be a very nice experience. But I am not sure if you want to open up that much to someone you don't love.

[moviedude714]

Saving it for marriage?

[Twalli]

Sex should be with someone you love and feel safe with. My girlfriend was a virgin until 33, because she never felt safe and loved the way she does with me. Because of the love I showed her she felt safe with me and loved me. Therefore she agreed to sex. She was actually ready before I was

[Asker]

Was the topic of sex awkward? Did you have second thoughts while bring it up or was she the one who initiated it? if you brought it up, did you question it before doing so? thinking whether it would come out as forcing her in some way. And if she initiated, being a guy did you feel pressured to somehow live up to some standard or fantasy she had?

[Twalli]

In any romantic relationship, sex is a possibility. Therefore I don't think it's awkward to bring up in a private setting. You don't have to go into detail about it or specific acts, just talk about it with your SO, like your views regarding it, your experience, etc. Be honest and maybe do some research before. That helped me a lot. I was the one to bring it up first, but just the topic, not the actual sex. I told her pretty early on that at a time I would be ready for sex. She doesn't have to be ready then, but if she wanted to at any later time I would be willing. We had it 4 hours and 11 minutes after I was ready. I remember because she woke up and moved around. Since she ccx was sleeping on top of me ai also woke up. Since she already knew I was ready at that point she just asked for it. We were both virgins, so we didn't have any idea of how it was supposed to feel. I think that was a good thing because we couldn't be disappointed by it, like an ex was better. It also makes is willing to try new things because we don't know if we'll like it until we try it. We've had the chance to get better at all kinds of sex together. I find it amazing that we are able to learn and grow together sexually.