Sex when asleep?

My Boyfriend used to have sex with me when I was asleep. He would wake up at 5 AM and try and have sex with me before he left for work a lot of the times I was dead asleep and sometimes I’d wake up with him in me and I would be upset because I’m so tired half asleep. Is this rape?//// iffyy. He wouldn’t say a word know i am asleep and start touching me and stuff...
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Superb Opinion

  • Mature couples who sleep or live together need to have a discussion about implied consent. Most couples who live together or share a bed will practice implied consent. This simply means that intimate touching is okay unless the person says no. When a person says no, it is respected. Before you move in with someone or share a bed, talk about your boundaries. It is okay to say “I don't like to be touched when I am asleep”. Or “It's okay to wake me up doing something sexy”. You need to talk about the rules ahead of time. Well, you didn’t consent so yes, it is rape if he put his penis inside you. But it does depend on you - if that really upsets you he is clearly not the right peson for you… But crucially, its only rape if you can get a jury to find him guilty…. Unless you had been drugged or drunk no jury on earth is going to convict on the facts you have given us…. unless there is something you haven't told us about your relationship and the events of the previous night. I think he can reasonably assume that you would not dissent and TBH, if you gave him a hard time over this I think he would feel very aggrieved.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Technically you haven't consented to that act so it would be rape. His defense if you tried to prosecute would be that you've let it happen and there's an implied consent.
    Have you ever said to him specifically do not have sex with me whilst i'm unconcious?

    • Yes I’ve told him multiple times during it happening I don’t like it and stuff. I don’t bring it up during the day because to me it’s embarrassing I even have to tell him to stop or I don’t like it because I would think that’s pretty obvious trying to stick a penis in a girl that’s not even wet and sleeping...

    • He stops when I tell him but will Do it again the next day.

    • He's raping you. He dosen't seem to respect your wishes. Is that really someone you want to be with? As a minimum you should think about leaving. Maybe prosecuting, but you may need to try to get him to admit to it first for evidence.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Of course it’s rape. If you tell the police he will go to prison for a long, long time. In some relationships, this kind of thing is okay because they’ve consented to it beforehand. The fact you haven’t consented and have told him no multiple times makes it very different.

    You need to tell someone you trust right away what is happening. I know it’s embarrassing and awkward but it needs to stop right now. What a fucked up pos.

  • I seriously don’t know why you liked the guy below opinion when he is basically saying that what your boyfriend did was ok when it wasn’t your boyfriend raped you and no I’m not a feminist either I just know the law and know what he done was illegal because he did not have your consent

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • My advice dump the crazy fuck I would not want to be in a relationship with a person who does that I would end it as soon as you can tell him it is over between you both and dump his sorry arse and tell him to get lost.

    • Thank you! ❤️

  • It's not rape but it is rude if you don't like it.

  • Feminists would call it rape.

    I say "meh" because it doesn't sound like you ever did anything to stop him or confront him. I'd lean more towards rape if he hurt you or his actions damaged your body.

  • Yeah that’s rape. Unless you gave him permission to do it prior to the act occurring, then it is literally Rape.

  • That's creepy as fuck to me and its rape if you never gave consent.

  • Did you ever say you didn't like it? I don't mean necessarily while he was doing it, but just in general. My girlfriend and I are happy waking up to sex or oral. So we wouldn't mind if it began while we were asletp.

    • I’ve told him to stop or I don’t like it when I’m asleep 8 outta10 times I only have had said things when it happens never after.

    • Then he's raping you

  • That’s creepy...

  • Sounds like it i would nt do it with out permission😢

  • Talk to him if you are not okay with this

  • That's pretty rapey

  • Speak to him if you don't like this behavior
    If he refuses to listen and continues to do this then he doesn't care about you and just looking for self satisfaction. And yes its rape!

  • This is how I think my daughter was conceived

  • Is there anything your feminist types won't try to call rape these days?

    Seriously, this kind of stuff just cheapens the experience of actual victims of actual rape and kind of makes a joke of the whole idea of rape.

    • Disagree

    • I would consider this “marital rape” after doing reading about it. It’s different yes but did you know most females know the man that raped her? My case is different I loved him we shared a bed bla bla bla just a question on my mind no one else will be hearing about this.

    • Marital rape is a thing and I strongly oppose it. But I was talking about you and the situation you described here, not a true marital rape. Given what you described here if you were to go to police and tell them he raped you, you would be wrong and I think you know that.

  • Sorry to say, but that’s rape. If it bothers you, you should charge him (take him to court), because he didn’t ask for consent or for anything really, and it’s disgusting he did that to you.

    • Thank you! I ended up breaking up with him for other reasons. I don’t feel the need to take it to court or anything just wanted some advise because it dident sit with me right and it’s good to know for future relationships. I don’t think it was right either especially that he somewhat forced himself in my without my consent. He was emotionally abusive. He still talks to me all the time I’m trying to move on and I think just getting clarity in my head about this issue helps ways the cons of trying again with him. Thanks for your comment :))