Sex won’t make him want a relationship will it?

I’ve been sleeping with this guy for 4 months now and I’ve really grown an attachment to him. I don’t even know why we barley have much in coming because he’s 29 and I’m 20. Like there’s a big age gap but I do care.

I know he’s very attracted to me and I am to him. He has like 3 different baby moms though and I know he’s probably still involved. I’m just really attatched now.

we have spoken everyday and the past few days he has just started opening my texts and not replying to me and it just hurts because we usually
speak every single day and sleep round each other’s houses etc.

I found a hair tie in his bathroom 3 days ago and a woman’s expensive face mask cream and it really upsets me.

I don’t know what to do because I’m really hurting that he’s just ignored me and I will probably laugh about this in a few years time but at the moment it upsets me. I feel like I’ve been replaced.

I just know it. I get crazy gut feelings and I just know. We have really good sex so it’s hard for me to let go it’s very passionate. Shall I just ask him like about how he feels and what’s going on?

He always tells me he will take me out and he never ever does. We have had so many date plans and it’s not ever happened and that’s all I hope. I always hope that he will wanna finally take me out on a date. I always hope that he will actually wanna plan something. That he actually will go through with his words.
Updates:
+1 y
And now I finally know how Cameron Diaz felt in Vanilla sky in that car scene. I’m just very frustrated and sad
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • The reality you need to accept is that most women cannot have casual sex without falling for the guy - no matter how much feminism tries to tell you that you can behave just a like a man and "go live your best life" and "hot girl summer" - that just doesn't work for most women. You will grow attached, and you'll be emotionally hurt when he doesn't.

    Because MEN ARE DIFFERENT - most men absolutely CAN have casual sex - even on an on-going basis - without developing romantic feelings for the girl. Sure, he may be good friends with her, but that's not the same thing, and it's NOT going to make him want a relationship with her.

    Plus, be honest with yourself: look at this guy's track record. He's got 3 baby-mommas. And I'm sure that's far from the only negative about him, and if someone put all that on a list and said "pick a guy who would make a good relationship partner", you'd NEVER pick this guy based on his history (unless your own values are completely screwed up - which is certainly possible).

    Instead, you just thought "he's hot, we could have some fun" and you didn't care about his track record - and now you've got feelings for a guy who doesn't want a relationship with you, and would be a terrible partner if he did. This is exactly why girls are (or, used to be) taught not to sleep around. It wasn't to deny them fun, it was to spare their feelings and to keep them from choosing guys like this - who are no good for them, even if they are fun in the moment - because guys like these ruin girls' lives. He ruined 3 other women by getting them knocked up with babies he has no intention of supporting or being around for, and for those women, he's the best man they'll ever get - any man who would take her AFTER she had a kid with HIM is going to be no better than he is and probably worse.

    Yes, he's probably sleeping around too - because that's how you get 3 baby mommas. Which means you are at risk for STDs as well. You chose this guy because he was hot and exciting (read: dangerous), and this is exactly how that ALWAYS plays out. You are lucky to ONLY have your feelings hurt. Imagine you ALSO got the gift of Herpes, or imagine you got pregnant, and then you'd never get a better man that HIM.

    I know you think you're just having fun, but you are rolling the dice with the rest of your life (at least, if you're having unprotected sex with him, which I imagine you are), and one bad roll of those dice and your life is forever limited in major ways that you can barely understand right now.

    It's time to grow up and start making better choices, and to be thankful that things didn't go much, much worse. They easily could have.

Most Helpful Guy

  • "I know he’s very attracted to me and I am to him. He has like 3 different baby moms though and I know he’s probably still involved. I’m just really attached now."

    ACK! He has THREE different baby mamas? Do you really want to be #4?

    If he was older and established (owns home, has career or steady job, etc.), I could at least understand your relationship. You bring your hottie looks and fertility and he brings his stability to the relationship and that's understandable. But why hook up with utter trash?

    • I mean he does live by himself. But I feel like all he cares about is my Looks and nothing else. I’m not being vain in any way but I am very attractive and a lot of guys beg to take me out but I always ignore people for him. I haven’t slept with anyone else or went on a date in 4 Months with anyone else.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Oh girl, this is so sad. You are speaking for millions of girls here.
    You need to demand more, honestly. And when you do, he will exit the scene. That's what his kind does.
    No dates? Then he is not invested, investing, in you at all. And that's not ok. Not really.
    You are giving him sex and so he is getting what he wants. Take it away, you'll see the writing on the wall.
    The longer you stay with him, the more attached you may become.
    There is a small chance you eventually grow tired of him and kick him to the curb (where he belongs with his baby mammas, etc.), but it's more likely you will accept whatever scraps of time he gives you, and you will carry this resentment, and feelings of inadequacy, with you into your future relationships. And the new guys you meet will either act the same, or be frustrated that they have to pay for the sins of their peers. And yeah, we all pay, one way or another. That's why people hold others accountable sometimes, and judge them, even when they don't know them that well. Because this shit spreads like toxic karma.

    P. S. 👌 on Vanilla Sky.

  • If sex is all he is after, and he already has it, why would he want to change anything?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 14
  • Overtime could be a short period of time yes it will want him to have a relationship if you do all the things that you need to do but don't overdo it and try anything he wants to try up front

  • Don't understand what u mean this is not a relationship u are not exclusive so why do u expect that from him

    • I’ve never even asked him to go out for dinner. He’s the one who always brings it up and says he’s booked things then he will say that his car has broke or something. I genuinely Don’t even ask. He brings it up saying ‘Let’s go to this Italian restaurant’ and then in the end he says oh come to my house instead

    • And he gets me so excited because he knows how I love dressing up going on dates and then cancels last minute and makes me catch a cab. The cab is 50 dollars a day since we live so far. He has his own car but he never wants to come and pick me up.

    • Why would he puck u up when he knows you will settle for much less if u set the boundaries so low why wpuld he act better

    • Show All
  • Yes and no.
    He might feel the same about you.
    Time to talk to him about it.

  • Sorry to say he’s just not that into you. It sounds like he used you for sex. This guy was a bit old for you and having three baby mamas was a huge red flag. Probably best to stay far away from him given there is evidence that he’s cheating on you. Just be glad you didn’t become his fourth baby mama.

  • Lol dont be upset for nothing you are just a plan B nothing else...

  • He's getting sex from you without the added difficulty of a relationship. It's like the expression "why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?". As for date plans, my girlfriend and I have been planning dates since March 2020, and none have happened

  • sex won't make him want a relationship. no. but, it can't hurt to try it

    if you never have sex, you'll always be "just friends"

  • eeeehhhh. I think you need to move on. this sounds destructive

  • You’re an idiot for thinking a guy with three baby mamas ain’t fuckin around. Don’t be his fourth.

  • Most likely not. For her on the other end might be a different story.

  • I wish it were otherwise luv but he sounds like a straight up player. 3 different baby mom's AND doesn't ever take you out? There are a lot if signs here that indicate that he's just interested in sex. You deserve someone who values you as a person and wants to be around you for the right reasons.

    It might be hard, but in my opinion you should move on x

  • look chance

  • Everyone, guy or girl is different. It could, or may not. Some people are also PERFECT actors and actresses. I'd get it out in the open and find out how he feels, if for no other reason than for your own sake. If you're not on the same page, in the long run, you'll be glad you found out sooner rather than later.

  • Sex has that effect.