Girls, Sexless Marriage is what I am doing ok?

I have been in a sexless marriage for about 2 of the 8 years we have been married. My wife has been having a consistent period for around 2 years and has made minimal attempts to actually correct the issue she only goes to the doctor once ever 6 months and never follows up. Meanwhile she is also withholding sex or any type of play because she thinks it is gross while she is on her period. I am shameful about masturbation and have recently bought a fleshlight without her knowledge because regular masturbation isn't doing enough for me anymore. I hate bringing up sex with her because I can tell it does make her feel bad and i dont want her to feel worse because i am fucking a flashlight. I consider what I am doing to be infidelity, I guess I am on here more to ask permission.
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Superb Opinion

  • A sexless marriage is okay if both agree to it. In your case, it is imposed onto you because of health issues of your spouse.

    Even though her doctor does not seem to be worried, I would change the doctor and have herself checked for more serious issues such as endometriosis, uterine fibroids or polycystic ovary syndrome.

    As for you, using a flashlight to manipulate your body is perhaps not the best thing to do. There are metal parts that could have battery corrosion and that are harmful to your urethra if this corrosion comes into contact with your penis. I am not a fan of body manipulations, even in a sexless marriage, and certainly not using inappropriate accessories.

    You would need to check with a therapist what can be done about your wife's condition and how she can be helped. You also need couple therapy to attempt to address your needs to manipulate your body.

    You can reduce, even totally suppress your libido with regular meditation, yoga exercises and physical activities, coupled with the proper diet. Good luck.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Masturbation or using a sex toy isn't bad. Though u think you need to have a serious talk with your girl. If she has been bleeding that long something could be seriously wrong and she needs to get it fixed asap. express your concerns for her health, do not under any circumstance bring sex up while doing so.

    • Great advice, from what she has told me her doctor hasn't been overly worried about it so I haven't tried to push the issue. I don't even bother trying to bring up sex or anything adjacent anymore at this point, I understand where she stands and that she is unwavering to perform any types of act one way or the other.

    • If her Dr isn't concerned she needs to see a different dr. That is not okay

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What Girls Said

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  • I doubt she’d care, although why would you tell her? It isn’t infidelity, obviously.

  • It’s not infidelity. I’m sorry you are in a rut. Sounds like she may be depressed. I would recommend couples therapy with a sex therapist.