Sexless relationship for 11 years?

I'm one of those that love older men. But now that I AM older, they are really getting older LOL.. we raised our kids together from the start. His 3 Little girls didn't have mother and my 9 mo old needed a daddy and I couldn't have picked a better daddy if I tried. Here's my question... I've put myself on the back burner for the past 18 years. Now, I'm finding myself being more of a roommate/caretaker to my long term boyfriend. How the heck do I human? Just deal with no sort of intimacy or closeness? No nothing between us anymore. he's got health problems that are beyond too far downhill. he's 56. Im 40. I'd like honest opinions.
Sexless relationship for 11 years?
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Superb Opinion

  • this is a difficult one. i think to start with you need to sit down with your partner and explain all of this and have an open and honest conversation. just be prepared that you may get answers back that you are not going to like and that will be tough.

    i think that before you have this conversation though that you need to sit down and have a serious think/conversation with yourself as to what do you want, what is it that you are looking for, do you still love this guy, do you want to make it work, is it just lack of sex that is getting you down etc. after that you will be able to have a conversation with your guy and know exactly what it is that you want from all of this. but again be prepared for his answers, as they may not be in line with what you want.

    if its just the sex thats the problem then maybe you could explore options. think outside the box i usually find that helps.

    • What a great answer! Thanks!! Maybe you are right. I'll try that. 😁

Most Helpful Guy

  • Ask him to satisfy you with his fingers, his tongue, and with using toys on you. If his unit is inoperable, that doesn't mean that he can't satisfy you in other ways. If he doesn't want to do any of those things, ask him what you should do to satisfy your sexual needs. Put some of the responsibility on him to help solve this problem.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's high time you have a serious SERIOUS TALK with your man on it. Sorry about that tho

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Sexless for 11 years? Holy crap, no no no. I could never.
    I don't even know how to react to your situation, the idea horrifies me.

    Also, if he has severe health problems, the high strain of sexual activity is not encouraged. It can probably sound bad but... I pity you.

  • The simple answer is that you are not married so it would be okay to get something on the side. I know it is more complicated than that. Think about what you would like to do. Maybe see if there is a surgical treatment for him. Can he satisfy you some other way? You sound like a real problem solver. See what you can come up with.

  • Your kids are all raised right? So why not get divorced and find a new man.

  • There’s a give and take in every relationship. It’s too bad he’s like that. 56 is still young. It’s good to find someone that exercises regularly. Anyways, you had to of known this from the beginning?

  • I understand the frustration. I too have been in the same boat for about 7=8 years now. I don't know if it is her health or just general loss of interest, but there is no intimacy. What you can do I guess is find new triggers. I wouldn't advice you get it on with someone else, since you seem to still love this man. But as a couple you need to find other ways to get intimate with each other. I am sure you will find some middle ground.

    • He doesn't seem to care anymore whether Im here or not. As a matter of fact, I think the presence of me kills him. 😭

    • I am really sorry to hear that. Do message me. We seem to have things in common.

  • Well either become a sugar momma, Divorce and date someone younger or I don't know honestly theirs not many options you can pick from that would help your marriage.

  • An open relationship would be in order for you.

    Of course he should know that women have needs too. On the otherhand he might feel like he is in the way, especially if you go asking to open it up.

    It's a bit of a dilemma but the best thing to do is to talk about the issue, both are in the right and wrong here.

    Try to figure out what works for both. Are you interested in women too? That is usually something guys find easy to accept, even fun. Maybe some sextoys/machines, ms roleplays etc that you both would like.

  • Either get a younger guy for yourself by divorcing him, or secret fuck buddy, or deal with this situation. No more option for you 😏

    • Oh there's plenty of options. His ass is getting something to fix it. A woman at any adult age, has needs. It's a natural thing. Just like men do. I'm sort of nervous 🤣 I ask myself: Will I know what to do with the damn thing if he jumped my bones? Would I sound like a human again? LOL Ohhhh bless it 🤚😅 It's got to be like riding a bike. Some people just know what to fo naturally, and that's me. 😛

    • hehe sure, enjoy your life beauty ;) hunt the single younger guys, ya know ;)

  • "older", we're talking, what?

  • That sucks sucks and trust me I know how it feels i have the same issue but it's due to my life long mental illnesses. I only had sex once. I Hope your situation gets great 🙂🙏🙏🙏😣🙏🙏

  • Fuck someone else?

    • LMAO welllll THAT'S a good answer.

    • If that's you in the profile pic, you're fucking sexy and any guy would love to fuck the shit out of you. I am any guy 😉

  • Why didn't you enter in to a relationship 😕?