Sexual liberation?

[Anonymous]

So in the recent years I have been exploring a little more. I am kind of embarrassed tho. Not that I am embarrassed about the things I’ve done I just feel I probably haven’t made the best judgement calls. The very first guy i had an experience with was looking back was not the type of guy I should have been with. He just went down on me but it was almost more. I stopped it. Then I lost me v card to a new guy I was talking to for over 6 months. I liked him a lot but I can’t say that I was treated the best. And now it’s been like 3 months since and I finally cracked and had a one night stand. I make sure to practice safety but I just feel so dumb sometimes. I think my friends judge me. It’s not their body but is thsi normal? Or am I doing too much? I just feel like I wanted to do those things I was just learning myself. But I don't know

[normalice]

Sounds like you're judging yourself. I can tell you that's uneccisary but I don't think anyone over the internet is going to convince you either way. People have become really intense when it comes to meeting their own wants or polishing their own self image. That intensity makes it hard to appreciate the world around you. I'd recommend using the world as a distraction until life outside your head gets more interesting than life in it.

[Asker]

You describe it perfectly. I live in my head a lot and it’s not fun. There are things I want to do but I always have to worry how it will be perceived and I’m working on not caring and loving myself and the way I see myself

[normalice]

I would suggest considering "not caring" the wrong approach. Rather, it is the art of finding more permanent things to care about. You should still care about your self image - just find a balance is all. I found studying (academics) were a good distraction from too intensely focusing on self awareness. But that could just be me.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s often a challenge to make safe decisions and also explore sexuality and break down boundaries. Do you feel more open now or still embarrassed and worried?

[Asker]

In a way yes, I’ve been struggling with setting boundaries in friendships and in general. Certain friendships feel off tho. I feel me finding myself is rubbing them the wrong way

[BarryLiverstone]

You know I went through some of that and it’s a challenge. That line between friends or more gets blurry; especially when there is mutual attraction. What are you current boundaries?

[Asker]

So I’ve been working on not letting my “friends” know every little thing about me. They get weird about the things I’m happy about. I am also working on how I let people treat me. I do not speak up often so I am trying to not be scared and just say what bothers me when it happens

[BarryLiverstone]

Those are worthy goals. Def your friends shouldn’t know all details especially if they shame or judge too harshly. Frankly everyone makes mistakes or takes chances. Speaking up is huge! No one is a mind reader and unless you ask they can’t help you. I assume you start by treating yourself well? That way you want others to treat you well

[BarryLiverstone]

Do you hesitate to do things because you worry how your “friends” will judge?

[Asker]

Sometimes. Or I’ll Just not tell them sometimes I want to know what they’ll say about them then that gauges how I feel about it and that’s not fair to me. I shouldn’t care. It was something I wanted to do. But also I’m about to speak up on something I felt I didn’t like that they did and I’m terrified but it has to be done

[BarryLiverstone]

Lemme know what that is

[Asker]

Yesterday they called me and said something was an emergency and I asked them what it was and why they couldn’t tell me otp. The edit just to come over. So I did. They were really hyped for this. I go over and they tell me that a guy I talk to up here was seen talking to some other girls. Mind you I mentioned they it was casual and as far as they know he only went down on me. He is also a frat guy. Thsi is not lost in me that he talks to other people. I asked y they couldn’t tell me otp. They said they wanted to see my face when I heard it. Almost as if they were happy to catch him talking to other girls

[Asker]

I thought that it was weird and after they had nothing to say just that he was interacting with a bunch of girls. It made me feel weird about the friendship. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I don't know but they kept making weird remarks about me cutting him off and how I would be sad and I’m always “losing” a man. I was confused. Should I address it or let it go?

[LazerBean]

It's very normal for promiscuous people to feel and be judged.

[Asker]

Thank you, it’s kind of scary I’m turning 21 soon and I just felt like I wanted to do something new I guess or try new things. I always feel so out of place or like I just don’t get to do the things without having such huge Worries about it

[BJP21]

Thats what casual sex is all about. Knowing yourself, knowing what you like and dont like. Nothing wrong with that until you catch feelings for someone.

[Frank1010]

Do whatever it is you want to do and everyone else can fuck off if they are judging you

[Asker]

Very true it’s just hard when I’m trying to figure myself out And I’m also very prone to other peoples opinion of me

[Frank1010]

Yea but that will end soon and you’ll start doing whatever it is you want regardless of your friends. Not just with sex but in life In general

[Anonymous]

You haven't lived until you caught every disease.