Should girls make a guys wait for sex?

I’ve been speaking to a guy for about a month. We are planning to meet up and to be honest I want to have sex with him. But I feel like if I do then he might not want to have a relationship later on with me as I basically gave it up as soon as I met him. Does that make sense?
my question is basically should a girl make a guy wait for sex? And also guys would you date a girl who had sex with you on the first date?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I’ve been speaking to a guy for about a month.
    *That qualifies as some "time served". Your first date is not really your first. You've negotiated for a month. That does NOT mean, however, you drop your knickers on your first time together.

    We are planning to meet up and to be honest I want to have sex with him.
    *Of course, but you have to examine the trade-off between instant/short term gratification and your best interests.

    But I feel like if I do then he might not want to have a relationship later on...
    *Your great grandmother understood that sex was a tool a young women applied to reward things she wanted in a guy. Things like respectful treatment, faithfulness, longevity, etc. All you have done with this guy is guarded conversation. He has in no way proven himself. You have nothing to reward.

    My question is basically should a girl make a guy wait for sex?
    *Absolutely yes. Giving it all up now gives him no incentive to explore and develop a relationship with you.

    Also guys would you date a girl who had sex with you on the first date?
    * I would not participate in intercourse if it were offered on the first date and there would not be a second date. You would have shown yourself to be shallow and even desperate.

    *Now for the "however". Both of you have gotten charged up with anticipation for a month. These being modern times, If the date goes well, engaging in some sexual intimacy would sweeten the experience and provide an incentive to explore and develop a relationship. But what?

    *My feeling is that he has to come one way or the other. Bare to the waist intimacy will not ease that. It will aggravate it. You might set your plan to advance to "mutual masturbation" (I do you, you do me) like in high school. This will give him a sample and get him off. It's worth your sacrifice of an having an orgasm to pace yourself.

    *But then, the unexpected might happen. He might want to advance into giving you oral sex right then and there. If you like him and are comfortable with it (plan by how you dress), go ahead. It is philosophically miles away from intercourse. He has to volunteer and do it FIRST and you can choose to blow him after it as well.

    I know this is complex. But not having intercourse right away will vastly improve the odds of more dates. You lose nothing by pacing him and filter out players, predators and hit and runs.

  • If that’s honestly what you want , assuming he wants the same then sure have sex, I wouldn’t say people should wait more than they want to but it’s a personal thing. Personally I like to wait longer and really get to know a person , I think it actually makes the sex better but each to their own. There is no time limits , it’s just when both are ready too.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • A serious man will wait. Only trashy dudes would even consider just using a woman for sex though.

    Marriage is a good point at which you can know he's serious.

    • But I want to have sex on the first date. I’m asking do you think that will put him off me?

    • I would be put off for sure. Most men would be just a little too. It makes you seem easy, you don't want him to respect you less.

    • Yhh that what I’m saying, I don’t want to seem easy but also I haven’t had sexual relations for so long !!

    • Show All
  • The rule of thumb is about 3 dates before having sex. If you have on the 1st date you look neat or eager for 1 night stands. If you wait more than 3 to 5 dates you're a virgin

  • I would still date a girl if we had sex on the first date. Up to you if you want to make him wait. Nothing wrong with you doing so.

  • For a guy well being a guy I say make him wait cause if he is a good one waiting won't matter if he just wants sex it will matter so much your wanting to wait.
    Many guys just want sex and your right he probably won't want a relationship after.

  • I won't do anything on a first date usually unless we massively click.. Like love at first sight click.. Using the terms "make him wait" makes you sound liek you would use sex as a weapon.. I doubt you're that type, but I wouldn't do anything on a first date..

  • I believe a girl should make a guy wait for reasonable period otherwise guy will take you an easy and always ready chick.

  • I’d wait

  • I believe in the 3 strikes rule. No sex by 3rd date and there would be no 4th date. I look for relationships. Sex on the first date generally raises red flags.