Should I ask my guy friend to have sex with me so I don't have to be a virgin anymore?

I'm kind of tired of being a virgin. I have a guy friend who I'm really attracted to, and I've been thinking of asking if he'd have sex with me, just so I'm no longer a virgin. Is this a bad idea? What's the best way to approach it with him? I think he's my best option because I like him and I know he'd respect me and not shoot off his mouth to his friends about it. This way I'm safe.

0 6

Most Helpful Guys

  • You sound intelligent and perceptive. Your reasoning is solid.

    Your friend will treat you gently and pay attention to your comfort the first time without making it all about him. He won't imagine that having sex means that the two of you are now automatically bound together in love, although it will always be a special memory as long as you live. Plus, as you said, he won't gossip.

    Sounds like an ideal way to get past the anticipation and fear of possible discomfort; to experience sex for the first time, put childhood behind you, and become a confident woman with a, now, fully functional body.

    The way I look at virginity is, when you pass puberty, you don't "lose" childhood. And when you have sex for the first time, you don't "lose" anything. You become a grown up.
    Forget about people who think you're supposed to marry the first person you have sex with.

    So just ask him. Explain it the way you did here. Have a conversation. "I want to lose my virginity. You are such a good friend. I trust you. Would you be willing to do me this favor? No strings attached."

    • This is great advice, thanks!

    • My pleasure.

    • Thanks for the MHO. I hope it works out and that it's wonderful!

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  • It’s really down to how you and your friend are. Taking a friendship to a sexual level can ruin the friendship, that is something you have to consider, also he might not want to, I know it’s weird but guys don’t always want to have sex with their friends. The not shooting off his mouth is good but you have to think about your friendship and if you can both handle it. Then, would you date him?

    • Yeah, I know he could say no, and I'm good with that. I might like to date him, I do like him, I just feel like casual stuff is safer.

    • Yeah it can be safer and also tbh more relaxed as nothing to prove from either side

Most Helpful Girls

  • I did this and I ended up regretting it. Why? Because the guy ended up raping me and a few years later I ended up meeting an amazing men who I wished I had lost my virginity too. Sometimes it’s not worth just having sex for the sake of losing your virginity. Sometimes the wait can be worth it.

    if I honestly knew an amazing men was going to come into my life, I would have been a lot more patient and held onto my virginity, but I was similar to you when it came to be tired of being a virgin

    • Awww :( 🥲

  • That might even be the best way honestly. Rather than losing it in a relationship potentially ruining the experience.

    • Yeah, that's a thought that goes through my head. Like what if I'm dating a guy I really like, but we have sex and it's not great, and I get the ick or lose feelings? Doing it with my guy friend who I'm not dating feels so much safer.

    • Plus it won't "ruin" your memory of your first sexual experience if things go south. Friend is definitely safer.

    • Exactly. I don't want to be a romantic, but I kind of attach meaning to the first time unconsciously, even though I wish I didn't. I feel like it won't count as much if I just have it with a friend.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 20
  • That's honestly sad, but if that's your mindset then your destination is going to end up being the same regardless of what you do.

    • Explain why it's sad?

    • Desperation and promiscuity is always sad

    • I'm not desperate or promiscuous, lol. I want to do this because I feel like it.

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  • He lucky if you lose your virginity to him, you sure you not want to save it for a husband?

    https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

    • I don't hold any value to virginity, and I might like to try having sex with some different guys to see what I like. I'm not looking to get married for a while.

    • Kinda sad when a virgin is choosing a slutty path, but he is still lucky to be your first.

    • Who said anything about being a slut? He's had sex with other people before and doesn't care about virginity whatsoever.

  • Don't rush losing it just to not be a virgin anymore. You might regret it later if you do.

  • A woman's virginity to men seeking a long term/marriage relationship is vastly underrated by feminists. If you want kids, save it for someone you want to marry. If you don't, respect yourself and jill off.

    • No thanks. Never met a dude who cared about virginity unless he was insecure or a red-pill. Could not care less about their opinions.

    • You haven't met a husband yet, so that makes sense.

    • What makes sense?

  • Tired of being a virgin is not the best reason to have sex with someone. Is this a guy you might have a serious relationship with? If so, then go ahead a ask him. If not, it might be better to go find that guy first.

    You know, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. All of us are virgins, until we're not.

    • I already know him, we're friends, and I do like him, but I think it's safer to lose virginity to a guy friend than to a boyfriend.

  • our bodies are the temple of the holy spirit. sex ideally should only be done whwn you are married. but if you have done it already strive to get married immediately. don't live in sin. JESUS IS REAL

    • Lol😂

  • I'd recommend going for it since you trust him.

    Before I was dating my girlfriend, we were close friends and talked quite seriously about taking each other's virginity just for the experience. Eventualky, we ended up deciding to date and having sex just a few minutes later. It was great.

    If we had taken each other's virginity and stayed single, I think it still would have been good.

    So, whatever works for you! Don't be afraid to ask him though. Definitely at least talk about it with him.

  • I'll do it.

    • You're old though

    • Yeah? So? You'll be here sooner than you think and then YOU'LL start wondering why people like you are now won't take a chance something as good as you.

    • Lol, nope.

  • This seems like a good idea unless he gets weirded out by it. I suggest starting by talking about sex in general and see if he is comfortable with it or not. If he is, keep talking about it and see if you can ask him if he has any experience in it.

    • K good advice, thanks.

  • 🤨🤣🤣

  • You'll risk the friendship

    • I don't see how. Guys seem to often only want girls for sex anyway and prefer friends with benefits to committed relationships anyway.

    • 🤷🏻‍♂️ I guess I can't argue with that I for one am asexual but I know not all men are asexual. My views are far different than the typical man's

  • No, don't waste your virginity, save it for a man who earns it

    • Virginity holds no worth

  • I'm sure he would. Even if he doesn't, if he's a true friend he won't be mad or make things awkward. I'm in the same boat as you. Personally, I would ask him. You don't wanna spend the rest of your life wondering, "what if?" Sometimes you have to take risks. So I say, ask him. But as to HOW you will actually bring it up with him, I'm leaving that to you to figure out

    • yeah that's what I'm pondering

    • Do you have any ideas?

    • not really. . .

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  • Why are you tired of being a virgin? Is it society that's convincing you that you shouldn't be one anymore? Why is it such a burden to you?

    My opinion is no you shouldn't do this as you may grow to regret it but ultimately the safest way would be a relationship where you love and trust someone. That they will do it appropriately and take care of you because you've already established that non sexual affection and care

    • Nothing to do with society. I do come across a lot of purity hunters which I hate, and if I meet attractive guys who are into me, I want to be able to see where things go without worrying about my virginity getting in the way.

    • Honestly never heard of purity hunters so I can't imagine what that's like but your virginity isn't something that gets in the way it's just a part of life. It's only as important to you as you make it and only whoever you tell needs to know about it. Ultimately it's your choice but having one friend have sex with you won't magically change everything

    • Purity hunters are like dudes who specifically go after virgin girls because they have a purity fetish and see it as an achievement to take someone's virginity. I'm not expecting some magical transformation. It's just that, even though I don't want to be, I'm a bit of a romantic and losing my virginity would hold more weight if I did it with a boyfriend. If I lost it to a guy friend, even if it was disappointing or something, it wouldn't mean much, and could just move on then.

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  • I lost mine to someone I ended up being great friends with. I think you need to do it with a good friend or a random. I’m happy that I did it with a fiend but I feel most people would not go that route. I’d say do the friend, but whatever works for you. Happy to answer any questions about my experience:

  • Girl save it to someone who is worthy.

  • If you are both okay with it only being sex, you might be fine, otherwise I see problems

  • Please don't be in a rush to lose your most intimate gift.

    • I don't view virginity as gift really.

    • Asker... The man you give it too should.

    • Why? It's no more important than having your first drink, or getting your first car. Just a mark of growing up. Putting to much weight on it is toxic and perpetrates purity culture.

  • If you want to go for it. You're already thinking about it. So might as well put your mind at ease and get to the bottom of it. Either he's going to fuck you or not. I would guess that he won't turn you down. I would just ask him flat out... will you fuck me pretty please

  • Don't. Please don't

    • Why?

    • Because I guarantee you, you'll regret it

    • WHY though?

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