Should I give my virginity up to my boyfriend?

[taytayygirl]

Ok, so Im 22 and still a virgin because I told myself I was going to save myself for marriage. I recently got into a relationship with an amazing guy. I never thought this would happen for a while. Well he's not a virgin but he respects my decision not to have sex. We do other things, like making out and oral sex. Well whenever we get intimate, we both get turned on. After we do things he just clings to me and gets silent. I ask him whats wrong. He says its hard for him to not have sex with me because he really wants to. He has never ONCE pressured me to have intercourse because he respects my decision. But i can understand its sexually frustrating for him because he's a guy and he gets turned on but can't do anything about it. I told him i can give him blow jobs whenever he asks. Honestly he means a lot to me and Im thinking about giving him my virginity if we are together for a long time. Should I do this? OR should I continue to save myself for my wedding night? I mean i have gotten pretty far already.

[SammyGurl]

He is kind of pressuring you already when "he just clings to you and gets silent. He says its hard not to have sex with you..." That's being pressured, he's playing little pouty games because he's not getting what he wants. This is a test of his character, one where he will show whether he respects you and your decision to remain a virgin or not. You have to talk to each other and decide for yourselves, this is the start of the kind of deep communication that will continue as long as you are a couple.

I know exactly what you are going through. I wanted to be a virgin on my wedding night too. He wasn't the one who was pressuring me, it was me! He was being perfect, no pressure, no comments, no pouty looks or attitudes. Sure he was getting pretty horny too just like I was only he was satisfied to wait doing hand jobs and oral, the more we did together the more I wanted him.

It was quite a while after we'd been engaged, he was going to be leaving for university in the fall while I finished up with last quarter of H. S. and my last year at community college. We talked about it, he was reluctant still, it was me that wanted it letting him know I was satisfied with us having sex before we got married as long as he was too. At first he wanted to wait, the more we talked he said yes.

We planned a weekend away at the ocean cabin where we had an amazing first time for each of us. He was so patient, so loving, the setting was safe, the scenery was perfect. In the end we both were glad we decided to do it when we did, we did it on our own terms, we talked everything over, it wasn't just a quickie, in the moment, in the back seat of a car or worse. It was in a real bed, on clean sheets in front of a picture window watching the setting sun and the surf, he'd prepared a wonderful light meal, lit candles, had some soft romantic music on the mood was set the act was just as beautiful. I'm glad we decided to do it when we did, it was a beautiful bonding experience I would do all over again if we had the chance! No regrets.

[CoffeePossum]

Omg yeah this pouty thing he's doing seems really like a guilt trip

[Blondie80]

It is ridicolous that you want to save your virginity for your marriage when you give blowjob to a guy! Girl! You take his dick into your mouth!!! If he isn't your husband, what will you tell your real husband when he asks about your life before your marriage? Why don"'t you ask this guy to marry you? Tell him that the prize to get your treasure is to marry you! Otherwise your idea about virginity and marriage is ridicolous! Either you completely save yourself for your husband, or throw yourself and your treasure for a thief (because if he doesn"t marry you, he is thief because he steals your virginity).

[Sabretooth]

well said

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like you are both comfortable around each other and as far as my books go, oral sex is just another form of sex. So really, what are you waiting for? If you are comfortable and feel ready, I don't see why you should wait! But of course only if you want it and are okay with it/ready. Sounds like you've found a really solid guy kudos to him for respecting your wish to wait but if you feel ready, personally I'd go for it!

[Anonymous]

stick to your plans don't give up, save it for marriage

[Stormboy6677]

Well that's not up to us to decide but I think that when you both do it out of love and not out of lust, it is a good moment, but if you would later look back with regret than you should not do it. I'm just a stranger on the Internet so I can't decide but believe me when it is an act of love you can't go wrong

[taytayygirl]

thank you. thats a perfect answer, it made me think. I do want to lose it out of love and not lust. and i want it to be special and mean something with someone who is really important to me. Which is him for sure. This is my first boyfriend i have had these types of feelings for.

[Stormboy6677]

Glad my answer was helpful! When me and my girlfriend decided to do it we did everything we could to make it a perfect moment with candles and everything. And till this day I've always done it out of love and that's when you know you chose the right partner

[thinkaloudtolive]

If you breakup with him, you'll regret giving it to him. If you end up with him, you won't mind that you waited. And if you don't end up with him, you'll be glad that you waited.

If he loves you, he's happy to wait. If he pressures you, it's all the more reason to not give it to him.

[zzzondarrr]

Great answer!

[bloodyrevenge]

That's a decision you have to make. Honestly now a days most people don't even wait til after they turn 18.

Think about of you are sure about losing your virginity. You can't get it back. Also obviously you've been together a while. Do you plan on staying together or is it just a young first love kind of thing? Would you be okay not being a virgin on your wedding night?

Just some things to think about

[PoliceLivesMatter]

Well, it might actually be 100x more meaningful and powerful for you if you are to wait until your wedding night BUT... it can also be worthwhile to have sex with him only if you think he’s the right one. It seems that you like him and he likes you but you have make sure you understand what kind of man he is and whether or not he’s the one to lose your virginity to. The reason why you do this is because you don’t want to feel any regret.

[ChronicThinker]

I don't see a point in waiting for marriage. If you're in love and you want sex, it's a natural and beautiful thing, so do it. You're half way to having it so it isn't like you're all perfectly pure by any means so why bother denying your sexuality even slightly?

[Sabretooth]

i think we both know how dangerous uncontrolled sexual passion is

[ChronicThinker]

@Sabretooth How is it dangerous? Lol.

[Sabretooth]

boot call-you recall that post?

[ChronicThinker]

@Sabretooth What?

[ChronicThinker]

@Sabretooth Yeah but this is her boyfriend, not a booty call.

[Sabretooth]

point is that uncontrolled sexual passion was what put that other girl in the situation she's in-regardless of the relationship status-him being her boyfriend won't mean he'll marry her-why should he? nor does that mean he won't bail if say she gets pregnant.

[ChronicThinker]

@Sabretooth I fail to see why marriage is necessary to have sex for one, secondly birth control, and thirdly marriage doesn't mean he won't bail or that he won't leave her. If you're with a person you intend to marry, not having enough trust in them to do something so natural like have sex basically voids the relevancy of your relationship. Why even be together if you think he'll leave you? Lol. But then again I'm not a puritan virgin and fucked the shit out of my man before he became my fiance. So we'll have to agree to disagree. I'm not one of those "anti-sex" girls.

[Sabretooth]

so, it's convenient?

[ChronicThinker]

@Sabretooth It's passionate and bonding for me. I don't view sex as this terrible thing the way a lot of people do. Sure, he might leave, but so what? That doesn't mean having sex with someone else isn't special. Your bond and connection is what makes it special, not the lack of dick you've had. People are too uptight about this issue - I mean, what happens if you marry the person and find out that sexually you're not even slightly compatible? Then what? You have a miserable sex life because you had to be morally correct? Naw way. Fuck that. But, to each their own. This is just my opinion. Fuck the people you love if you want to, otherwise do what feels right to you. I don't judge.

[Sabretooth]

that can be worked on-hell-i have a whole list of things i wanna try-besides-i see a conflict-what if that's all you have? what then?

[ChronicThinker]

@Sabretooth What if what is all you have exactly? If you aren't sure that you love or care about the person I see you not wanting to be physical, but if you clearly do and are already being sexual what is the point in saving simple penetration for your wedding night? How is it going to be oh-so-special if you're already having oral sex? Lol. I don't get it.

[Sabretooth]

sexual compatibility. i never said it was-i said ''well, too late now.'' while she shouldn't continue-the damage has been done

[ChronicThinker]

@Sabretooth Having sex with someone you love isn't damaging lol. And like I keep saying: fuck people you love, that indicates there is obviously other compatibility. That's what I did. I turned out perfectly fine. But if you wanna be a virgin until marriage buddy go for it. Like I said, we have different views and my mind isn't going to change because it gets your panties in a twist. ;) <3

[Sabretooth]

it doesn't

[WalterRadio]

"I was going to save myself for marriage"
LOL! I've heard that one before. They ended up saving themselves until the second date.

Maybe your guy hasn't come this far YET, but ask yourself the question: If your guy isn't having sex with you, who is he going to be having sex with?

[taytayygirl]

thats a really good point

[thomascale18]

Honestly I'd say wait. This sounds exactly like what most guys would say when they really want sex. tell him you wanna wait till marriage. And then see if he is okay with it or gets distant. if he's accepting then go for it.

[taytayygirl]

okay I thinking about waiting and seeing how serious he is and how long we are together

[thomascale18]

Good choice

[Cursewords]

You're seriously asking strangers for advice on this? Jesus Christ.

[taleswapper]

First, the disclaimer. I consider virginity a correctable perversity in an adult. Inexperience is not something to be lauded. You don't "give him your virginity" any more than you make a gift of your ignorance to a tutor. The fact that you are NOT an innocent; that you both indulge in sexual acts other than coitus, makes it seem all the more perverse.

That said, if for whatever reason you cherish it, you should continue to do so. It has significance to you, and you should stay the course, and honor your commitment to yourself.

[Iamaguy4real]

You can give him oral sex & bjs but you can't give him body sex. At this point you're not a virgin anymore even if you haven't gotten penetrated.

[Titanic1912]

Save yourself for the wedding night. Get married first and then lose your virginity.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Sure just after I sell my pet unicorn.

[Prakbio]

I think it is totally your decision.. he is a nice guy as he never forced his girl physically and respects your decision but what I think is he is forcing you mentally , he should have never said " it's hard for him to not have sex with me because he really wants to" as you are ready for oral.

[HamAndCheese]

I'd continue saving. You'd be throwing away 22 years of work because of spur of the moment emotions that may not last.

[zzzondarrr]

I think you should wait until you are so much in love with each other that you can't envision your lives without each other, and well then you would be ready for marriage...

[Willyboy54]

Really doesn't make sense to save it. Why? Cause ones you two are married and you don't like the sex, then what? Either you or him are going to go search for someone who is going to satisfy the needs. And what if his urges tempt him to do that even before marriage?

[TheRish]

Save for marriage best option

[krishh0805]

Are you gonna marry him?

[Antvin95]

That’s not exactly saving yourself if you’re already doing that stuff.

[Sabretooth]

well, too late now.

[jpsant05]

No harm

[karoo]

You should perhaps re-evaluate or update your reason and/or motivation for saving yourself. Because, let's be real and honest if not a little blunt, if it's for religious reasons then you're past that with the oral sex. Sex is sex. But if there's others reasons for you wanting to wait to have penetrative sex, then look at that and discuss it with him.